a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment
THEASCENDANT  ·  3372 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Hubski, what's the best thing you can do for yourself after a breakup?

Give yourself a week of feeling like shit. Hell when your heart is stomped on, you can't deny that it hasn't been. Trying to repress that shit and act like all is well is denial in my opinion.

If I ever get dumped on, I listen to Fancy Clown by MF Doom, Grief, AM//Radio and Off Top by Earl Sweatshirt on repeat until I'm tired of being sad. Once I feel like all the sadness is out of my system and I hateI just try to sit back and think about the situation in a "detached" sort of way. Look at from the third-person with no bias toward any party. While you aren't God and you wont 100% percent know anyone's motivations, it is best to try so you can open up your own understanding and increase your empathy toward the situation. So I ask questions and try to see things from the other person's perspective, so I can get a grip around it.

> Why did they break up with me?

> What could have been their motivations?

> Was it any of my certain actions that caused them to come to their decisions?

> What could I do in the future?

> What did I neglect during my relationship?

> What images and emotions were popping into my mind during relationship?

> Is this relationship really helping me? Was I just covering up? Or was I projecting positive yet completely imagined qualities onto my partner.

Some people might tell you some woppitywop bullshit telling you how you need to jump out of the door and grab yoga mat and start meditating or start up charity giving out muffins to the homeless. But its better to properly sit back and process any emotional knots then act accordingly. I wish I could go back in time and give myself this advice, it could have save me from more emotional trauma but hey, going back in time is impossible. Just cope and figure out how to move in the future.