- I was 15 and you were 13. Exactly one year and four months apart. But they will say two years because apparently, in months, we are supposed to round up. I had never met you before, even though we went to the same school. After the usual Friday night routine of underage binge drinking and smoking to look cool, we ended up staying over at a mutual friend’s house. His not-so-traditional parents made it an ideal hangout.
It's disturbing to me how many of the friends I knew as kids were breaking sexual consent laws. In particular, in Michigan, sexual acts between a 17 year old and a 15 year old are considered to be criminal. I could probably find a handful of examples within my young peer group.
Yeah, just imagine the conversation at the Canadian border:
"Passports please. Both of you." "Here." "You are both minors. Minors under the age of 18 without a parent must be accompanied by a signed and notarized letter stating the parent's approval of the trip. What is the purpose of your trip?" "Loss of virginity, sir. It is illegal for consenting minors to have sex in Michigan." "I see." "But not in Ontario -- as long as the minors are within five years of each other in age." "I see. Do you have a letter from your parents?" "Yes, officer. My mom provided condoms too." "Alright, carry on."
I'm seeing some appreciation for this letter since earlier this morning. The "write a letter" series in The Guardian is itself interesting. They pay 25 pounds per published letter (about $40US) and have published 351 so far on many topics. Who knows how true these are, but the confessional or angry letter format have a real feel to them. The letter that bfx posted here, whether true or not, should be put in a high school or middle school reader for class discussion. It would be a good research topic for a high school kid. What would happen in your state or province? Could this be a true account in this country? I imagine you've all heard of the "yes means yes" movement, replacing the "no means no." How old is a minor in your state province? Do people even know or just "hear" about age of consent. Here's something from the Canadian Justice Department: There is also a "close-in-age" exception for 12 and 13 year olds: a 12 or 13 year old can consent to sexual activity with another young person who is less than two years older and with whom there is no relationship of trust, authority or dependency or other exploitation of the young person.For example, a 14 or 15 year old can consent to sexual activity with a partner as long as the partner is less than five years older and there is no relationship of trust, authority or dependency or any other exploitation of the young person. This means that if the partner is 5 years or older than the 14 or 15 year old, any sexual activity will be considered a criminal offence unless it occurs after they are married to each other (in accordance with the "solemnization" of marriage requirements that are established in each province and territory, governing how and when a marriage can be performed, including the minimum age at which someone may marry).
If you are a young person reading this, you might want to check your local laws.
Lil, I completely agree with having this be a point of discussion in secondary eduction. Sexual education and relationship based education is sorely lacking, at least in the United States. A couple of friends of mine are actually taking a course through the Center for Women and Gender here that is entirely about relationship building, I'm looking forward to hearing their thoughts about this course. With regards to this article (real or not), it struck a chord with me because I almost ended up going through this situation as an 18 year old. Broke up with a girl who proceeded to threaten to report me as a sexual offender to the local police, despite the consensual nature of our sex, etc...not the best part of my life by any means and if it actually went that far I don't know what would have happened.
Who knows how true these are, but the confessional or angry letter format have a real feel to them.
-I wonder, if the letter had been about a girl that was raped, but the accused had denied culpability, would you have questioned it so? Would you have mentioned how much she received for writing it?
Excellent observation and question. We are moved every which way by good writing. I'm aware of how I am manipulated by good writing and compelling stories. The more we identify with the story, the more we are likely to believe it - so you make a good point. (I was a little disbelieving because the treatment of the boy seemed pretty harsh given he was only 15 and self-described as shy.) I read several of the letters posted by The Guardian - mostly about affairs - a woman writing to her ex-lover's wife, a woman writing to her husband about her ex-lover. They were very well written and I found myself questioning them immediately - even though they were by women, so I'm not sure gender is the only factor in believability. I imagine, though, that all the letters are true. I try not to be taken in by good stories. I liked the boy's letter and my point was, it doesn't matter whether it's true or not - he tells an excellent story that should be taught in school. Anything that is published could be fiction. In fact, as soon as it is written, it becomes fictionalized because writing from life is not the same as life: writing always involves choosing details and our perceptions are deeply subjective. When I found out that The Guardian pays for letters, I felt like writing one or making one up. I actually probably have dozens of letters in my journals that I could send. I actually did once write a letter to my lover's wife. {NOTE: tng - long, long ago in a galaxy far away).
This "story" deserves a far better effort, but in the short time I had, I could only muster this: edit: ghostoffuffle, T-Dog, jonaswildman, coffeesp00ns, BLOB_CASTLE, theholywombat, rezzeJ -feel free to add to it if you'd like. I was a boy and I left a monster
You could see the shift as they left my porch
Just a child and they ripped me open
She still smiled at me from the third row All my friends
They stood by me
---- I was just a boy back then
(my monster)
I left it pretty basic intentionally. Let me know if there's anything your ear hears over this.
This sounds great! It's perfect, I couldn't imagine anything different. Great work BC! I'm excited to hear more added to it. ghostoffuffle, jonaswildman, rezzeJ, T-Dog, have a listen to this one with B_C's bowed bass. Anyone want to add to it?
I'm glad you thought so too. I thought about adding another layer toward the end, but had decided against it.
I dig it, a lot! This is going in a very cool direction imo. I think the song needs the addition of drums when your bass part comes in the first time. Then a big building drum part that can cut in to a beat mid way through the end part, when your bass starts doing more rhythmic stuff and less "buildy" stuff. If any drummers are willing to tackle this piece (I obviously didn't use a click), then please... go for it. rezzeJ and jonaswildman -any interest? If not, I'll take a stab at it, but I'd prefer a better drummer. Great work T-Dog, it compliments B_C's bowed bass well. shout-out to ghostoffuffle
I'm hearing some sultry bowed upright on this one edit: Maybe sultry wasn't the most appropriate word...
I wouldn't mind this being taught in Sex Ed in schools but I would like to see by its side a letter from a person (of any gender) who truly had been raped and what they went through. We should educate people not to falsely report crimes and how damaging it is. But we should also educate people about how truly awful those crimes are - which, of course, is why it is so devastating to be wrongfully accused of them.