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comment by kleinbl00
kleinbl00  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: September 17, 2014

This is how con artists work.

Good on ya. Similar actions had me giving a homeless man who knocked on my door behind two locked gates a ride to Compton in rush hour and then giving him $40.

And then calling my security company in a panic because I'd essentially let him case the joint for 20 minutes and then provided him a 50-minute window in which to steal everything.





ghostoffuffle  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I prefer your read of the situation to mine- I defaulted straight to "this guy wants to take my car and/or murder me." I could think of literally no other reason a stranger would be that intent on getting into my passenger seat with no clear itinerary or obvious motivation to go wherever. And still... it was hard to say no. Anyhow, retrospect, he probably just wanted a chance at the iPhone I had plugged into the aux input or what have you. Or hell, maybe he just wanted to get out of my neighborhood as desperately as I do.

The whole experience- and similar ones I've had- just made me angry. I like to believe in the power of good community and faith in fellow man and charitable acts, and situations like that sort of destroy the illusion. I was mad at him for messing with my idea of trustworthy environments and interactions, and I was mad at myself alternately for basing my worldview on a naivete born of a life of sheltered privilege, and then also for abandoning that worldview in the face of such an innocuous interaction. Whole thing just put me in a position where I had to question my community, my idea of community and my trust in the power of community. Cognitive dissonance is bad enough- cognitive dissonance in relation to faith in good values is downright soul-crushing.

kleinbl00  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    The whole experience- and similar ones I've had- just made me angry. I like to believe in the power of good community and faith in fellow man and charitable acts, and situations like that sort of destroy the illusion.

You were angry because you fundamentally trust people and he violated that trust. You fundamentally trust people because very few people violate it. Would it surprise you to learn that most people fundamentally trust which is why society works? This is why cheats and the like are shunned - you were witnessing your own little piece of societal breakdown.

That is why you were still polite: you're hardwired to be helpful and friendly to others who are helpful and friendly. I could list off a shelf-full of books describing why humans trust each other and the clinical tests that prove it.

What this means: don't abandon your worldview. Recognize that it was tested and that the responses garnered were 100% appropriate and that's what makes the world go round.

lil  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I've been taken in too -- two times that I remember well -- one, a kid collecting for a legitimate school charity -- "jump rope for heart" -- held every April... I gave him $10 and he said something like ... if you give me more... than ... will happen... and so on. After he left, I realized that it was November, not April. The other time was worse and I won't go into it, but I was in such a panic after realizing that I'd been scammed that my best friend had to come over to calm me down.

There are probably more times that I don't even know I'd been scammed. The result is my general negative feeling about anyone who comes anywhere near my door.

thenewgreen  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I was that kid when I was 15 years old. My school used to give us these McDonalds coupon books that we had to sell for $5 each. I stole a bunch of outdated versions of them from the school and me and some friends went to the local mall and sold them. I pretended to be handicapped. I was a despicable kid. We made a lot of money.

lil  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

and, to atone, you've been overdoing it in the good works department ever since?

thenewgreen  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  

Not quite, I've actually been training a small army of 15 year olds on how they too can sell expired coupon books for profit. In exchange for my tutoring, I receive a fair percentage of their earnings.

Passive income... it's all the rage.

my training regiment

Step 1: Learning the product

Step 2: Fitness (pretending to be handicapped is strenuous stuff)

Step 3: Managing your finances (the part where they give me their money)

lil  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

How Oliver Twisted of you.

thenewgreen  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I have never read Oliver Twist, but when I see/hear it referenced I think of an old friend named Todd Deatherage. We used to share shows together back in the day and commiserate about being songwriters struggling to "make it." Here's his song Oliver Twist. Thanks for the trip down memory lane. I've not heard that tune in a LONG time.

ironpotato  ·  3499 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I like this

thenewgreen  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  
This comment has been deleted.
onlythelonly  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Love the $12 money shot.

_refugee_  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

oh my god this is why I don't ever talk to street people

kleinbl00  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

...aaah, but padewan - he wasn't "street people." He was the father of the girl who lives in J-2040, you know, Clarice? Oh, you don't know Clarice? Heart of gold. And she needs her medicine at the hospital, and she was supposed to leave a key, and you're a white guy and I don't usually trust white guys, but I can tell I can trust you and...

havires  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    street people

What exactly are "street people"?

_refugee_  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

People who are out on the street attempting to talk to me

More points if they are standing around and not going anywhere and more more points if they are not smoking a cigarette

Total avoidance points jackpot if they are trying to hit on me

But if you are a small child with no visible parent then exception ____________________________________________ For the record, I'm a petite female. I generally do not feel safe if a stranger in a city approaches me; at minimum I am wary they are selling me something or trying to bum a cigarette and the unease grows from there. I feel less safe if I am approached by a strange man. If a man approaches me on the street 99 times out of 100 he is in some way attempting to hit on me/is approaching me solely because he finds me attractive. This is not a reflection on what I look like besides that I am small and slender; I'm not Hedy LaMarr.

Within the past week a man honked at me twice to get my attention. I'd ignored him the first time and apparently giving me an OK sign was just so important that he couldn't let it go. Guys working on a storefront have yelled at me repeatedly because I refused to acknowledge them. Apparently it's more likely I'm deaf than that I'd ignore a catcall.

Guys harass me without approaching me. I am not going to open any opportunities for any more of it. I am going to ignore you if you talk to me on the street until it's very clear that you're talking to me for a legitimate reason.

user-inactivated  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

An ex girlfriend was fond of telling people who hit on her in the street that they would look beautiful in a gimp suit and nipple clamps. I was always afraid she'd get someone who would jump at the offer rather than being freaked out one day, but it never happened.

_refugee_  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yeah. I haven't the chutzpah.

onlythelonly  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

So, uh. You still got her number?

havires  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Ah well that makes sense and those are all valid points.

thenewgreen  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

And? Was anything taken? Even if nothing was, do you think it was his intention to "case the place?" Or do you think he was just a guy that needed money and a ride?

kleinbl00  ·  3501 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I think he was shaking the place down to see if he could crack any loose change loose. I got home just in time to see the security guards standing in front of my door - it had taken them 30 minutes to get off their asses.

I consider it a $40 lesson in being too trusting.