lil and I were vaguely discussing being funny when an interesting question came up: how does one become 'nonchalantly hilarious'? With a quick wit, flawless delivery, and ability to see the humour in everything?
Having a good sense of humour is often seen as a great thing in relationships whether they be serious, professional, or casual. I like to think I overcame my bad taste in general outward appearance with humour to win over my wife's affections. A good laugh or chuckle makes a job interview go smoother. Being able to laugh at yourself is seen as a great quality and, as lil, mentioned your humour will inform and touch other aspects of your life.
I would like to think it is something that can be at least partially developed. I mean, it takes most comedians years to hone their craft to the point where they are seen as effortlessly funny. What do you think it takes to become 'nonchalantly hilarious'?
Man, this is a great post. Really made me think. I'm not sure what I actually have to say about it without just talking about myself a bunch, which I'm probably going to do anyway -- but it really resonates with me because I was I guess the class clown, or that's not right, it was more like I had just the right attitude throughout school to get laughs whenever I talked. I'm pretty good with stories, my friends always told me to go into standup but I never liked the medium because nothing comes up organically. Today I made a room of 30 people who barely know me laugh hard during a meeting with a bit of improv'd back and forth. I think it's all timing and delivery, really, not content. If you look at the things every day that make you laugh out loud, how many of them are funny because they're clever? Clever things make people grin or nod, not laugh. It's all situational and contextual humor. For every funny thing I say in a group setting, I swallow a dozen, which is hard, and takes practice, and is the number one thing people don't understand I think. You can always tell when someone's trying too hard to get a joke in, right? And it sucks? Yeah. A lot of it is knowing your audience. If you're midway through a story and you can tell it's shit -- we've all been there -- a) you misjudged your audience to begin with, probably, and b) for god's sake don't finish the story, find some way to defy expectations. You've also got to know when to laugh along with what you're saying and when to deliver it straight-faced. Both can save jokes that seem headed to hell. It never really occurred to me how much of a science humor is. I've never deconstructed it before, I usually just act this way. People always talk about how much they hated 6th through 12th grades because they were way too self-aware. Humor is the best -- only? -- way to combat that feeling. Laughing at yourself is part of it, being able to laugh at the world is vastly more important. I think that's enough of me rambling about humor for tonight. EDIT: I just read what Kaius wrote and it made a ton of sense to me. Very similar. I wonder if I consciously forced myself to be funny at an early age and just can't remember. My parents both have what I consider to be excellent comedic timing so if I did it was probably to be more like them. EDIT2: I also agree bigtime with onehunna and @rezzej@ -- observation and a wide range of experience can only help. A witty 13-year-old is a rare thing; they simply haven't ingested enough comedy themselves to understand how human humor works.
I've always wondered how true this really is. The kids I observed getting bullied in middle school or whenever didn't really seem to react this way. I think you have to be naturally extroverted to an extent and a lot of kids that get bullied tend to be introverts.
If you are lucky it triggers a survival mechanism which drives you to become funny as a form of defense. This powerful response will push you from a beaten, defeated child into a broken, insecure adult who uses a thin veneer of humor to disguise the gaping void within... Or if you are one of the unlucky ones the beatings continue until you grow up to become a well balanced adult, never achieving your humor potential.
Tell me Kaius, how did you arrive at that conclusion. One very funny, formerly-beaten-up, former best friend of mine sadly has a deep gaping void within and definitely struggles with mental stability issues. I enjoyed the humour, but eventually could not deal with the gaping void. I miss him.If you are lucky it triggers a survival mechanism which drives you to become funny as a form of defense. This powerful response will push you from a beaten, defeated child into a broken, insecure adult who uses a thin veneer of humor to disguise the gaping void within...
This is so true.
I seem to remember that traumatic events that happen at a certain age can cause teenagers to use humour/sarcasm to cover up their feelings. Its similar to Disassociation. Someone can correct me but I think its a known trend seen in pre-teenage males whose parents divorce... Way out on a limb there so shoot me down if that's not correct but I remember hearing it somewhere. The gaping void I used above was an extreme exaggeration of course but the best comedy (for me) comes from a dark place. I think if you interviewed some of the funniest comedians you would find that many suffer with some form of depression. Its the gallows humour, the desperation, the frustration that hits home with people. Slapstick doesn't have the same range. That's pretty interesting though isn't it. A tragic event can result in someone who uses humour to cover their inner hurt, which in itself is tragic. Its like the circle of life.
A lot of it is knowing your audience. If you're midway through a story and you can tell it's shit -- we've all been there -- a) you misjudged your audience to begin with, probably, and b) for god's sake don't finish the story, find some way to defy expectations. You've also got to know when to laugh along with what you're saying and when to deliver it straight-faced. Both can save jokes that seem headed to hell. This is huge, knowing your audience if you are dealing with a small group of individuals is fundamental to getting a real laugh (not to be confused with a pity laugh; you know those chuckles people throw at the guy who is trying too hard). If you are dealing with 1 or 2 individuals I stick to safe ground jokes until I get more familiar with them. This comes from experience, I have seen people go in hard with jokes early, misjudge the audience and it just doesn't work... The opposite of this and one of the easiest places to get a laugh (IMO) is when you are in a large group of strangers and there is that awkward early phase (i'd love to try stand-up but I cant write jokes). As an example, I recently attended a training session in a different country and we had to do some silly task on the first day involving company logos. One of the trainers (formally dressed, strict woman with a goal on running a 'tight' training course) approached me and asked: "I just wanted to ask are you familiar with that company logo? Do you guys have Starbucks in Ireland?" My response: "We have Starbucks, we also have running water and electricity, indoor toilets are planned to arrive next year" pretty much ground the room to a laughing halt for the next 5 minutes. It was an easy joke to deliver as the room, audience, trainer and context all worked together to help me. Reading that it might sound very sarcastic but I softened the delivery and presented it as a semi self deprecating joke complete with apple eating grin. If I went with a straight sarcastic delivery then the trainer would have felt awkward, the room may have divided in support for her and the moment would be lost. Its fluid, you have to take a chance sometimes but sticking a warm smile and being friendly will keep you out of trouble when you get it wrong. Don't be a smart ass taking pot shots, that's just getting cheap laughs and anyone can do it. Break with convention, spot the story being put forward and undermine it but do it with style, charm and a warm smile. The goal is to come off like a funny, relaxed person who wants everyone to enjoy themselves; everyone will get on-board with that and laugh with you. If you sit back and make smart ass comments and you do it from a bitchy place then you will run out of audience patience very quickly.
I have been told that I'm witty/funny. I was pretty small as a kid and was not good at sports which meant it was that bit harder for me to make and keep friends. I remember noticing one day that one of my fellow students was funny and he was pretty popular. I made a conscious decision to try and be funny. I focused on it, I kept trying different approaches. I studied being funny far more than any other subject. I'm sure I drove everyone nuts at first by trying to make stupid jokes at every opportunity but gradually it improved until I could crack people up pretty easily. That was 20 years ago when I was a kid but it became an important part of my identity. Even now when I meet someone for the first time I try to work out what will make them laugh, sometimes I get it right away, sometimes it takes longer but if you have a sense of humor i'll find it. The biggest part of it for me is speed and timing, a great joke with bad timing is just a bad joke, an OK joke with good timing can bring the house down. Once I get into the rhythm of someones thought/speech process I can land a joke into their mid-sentence pause. This works really well when its a formal-ish setting and the joke is unexpected but welcome. Team meetings are great for that. I don't act the clown or constantly make jokes but every now and then I can nail you with a comment that will crack you up. The (slight) downside is that I unfortunately have a dark sense of humor and a sharp tongue that I need to keep in check. The problem with delivering a killer line at the right moment is that you run the risk of shortcutting some of those common sense filters your brain uses to keep you from sounding like a total asshole. In the past I have made jokes that perhaps were slightly beyond what people are used to. Those types of jokes are normally the ones that crack people up the most when they get to know me. I regret nothing :) The most important thing is to turn it off and leave it off until you need it or else you run the risk of being thought of as clownish or insecure. It has helped me get hired, it has helped me get promoted, it has helped me when speaking with people from different backgrounds, it has helped me when I have to speak publicly, it really helps me when I socialize with people I barely know. If it was an optional extra I'd buy 'funny' with every resurrection. I could give examples of things I have said in the past that have killed but that wouldn't work. Those things were crafted for different people, in different contexts. I can't see you, I can't get a read on you from the other side of this screen; but if I was there I'd make you laugh.
Most people, though, want to know how to turn it on in the first place. It can be learned. But can it be taught?The most important thing is to turn it off and leave it off until you need it or else you run the risk of being thought of as clownish or insecure.
I agree. You have to be able to activate your powers appropriately.
I've had guests to my class to teach "improv comedy" -- with the goal of helping students learn to think on their feet. Can they be taught to be funny? Maybe, yes, with time and practice and exposure to elements of humour, and their own motivation, it might be possible to teach an unfunny person to be funny. Regarding an unteachable student: yes, of course. They are unteachable if they do not want what you are giving them. If there is no trust and no respect and no interest, it would be very very hard to "teach" anything. Even so, I'd like to think that maybe I taught something to the kids in the young offenders prison where I once worked. Nah, probably not.
For me, there is a difference between teaching and learning. Namely, one is in control of what they teach, but not what is learned. So, it's likely that the young offenders learned something from you, even if they did not learn from what was taught, you know? I know that some will accuse me of splitting hairs, but I think the difference is actually quite pronounced.Even so, I'd like to think that maybe I taught something to the kids in the young offenders prison where I once worked. Nah, probably not.
I absolutely agree. In fact, I often put this question on the writing part of a final exam: What are three things you learned from this course? Note: what you learned does not need to be on the curriculum. (There is more to the question in which they can explain how their previous training or experience resulted in them learning nothing.) The things they learned that were not on the curriculum have been very interesting.
I hear you there. The more conscious I've become of humour the more I realize how dark my sense of humour is. For instance, if anyone plays Cards Against Humanity with me they'll quickly find out that jokes involving child abuse typically trump everything (or decent usage of 'object permanence' I can't tell you how rare it is for anyone to get a joke involving it without me explaining it to them.) I suppose it has helped me in similar ways too. I went into a job interview for a minimum wage customer support job and ended up getting a second interview for a job that payed twice as much, partially because I made my interviewer laugh. I was talking about sales and just said, "Sales isn't like a jedi mind trick, you can't just go, 'This is the product you are looking for'" while waving my hand.The (slight) downside is that I unfortunately have a dark sense of humor and a sharp tongue that I need to keep in check.
It has helped me get hired, it has helped me get promoted, it has helped me when speaking with people from different backgrounds, it has helped me when I have to speak publicly, it really helps me when I socialize with people I barely know.
REALLY late reply but i stumbled across this old post today. Your last paragraph abou humour helping you get a better job. I can really relate to that, I have yet to be turned down after a job interview and i put that down to a mixture of luck and making the interviewers laugh repeatedly. There was one time i said something really dumb which was meant to be funny but instead was just insulting to one of the interviewers, and i still got the job because the other guy found it so funny. He hired me for his department.
How does one become nonchalantly hilarious? 1. Hang around with funny people and use their lines in new contexts. This technique has served me well for many years. When I was much younger, I was visiting my boyfriend's house and one of his roommates was a motorcycle gangster. I came down to the kitchen in the morning and put some bread in a very old, half-broken toaster. I asked the roommate, "Does it pop up by itself?" He replied, "No, you have to stroke it first." It was several months before I got the joke, but I use it all the time now whenever someone is trying to make something stand up. 2. In any situation, discard the first thing that pops into your head, because that's the expected statement. It's not usually funny. Get it out of the way, so the second thing can pop up (by itself). That's the unexpected statement. Unexpected = funny. 3. Language puns - word play - opportunities come up a lot. For example, in a conversation about Vaclav Havel, the former Czech president, my friend interjected, "Vaclav Havel? I love those Greek pastries. OK, baklava only sounds vaguely like Vaclav Havel, but it cracked me up. Still does. There's more, but I have to stop. It's getting late...
I come from a family where humor is heralded above all other attributes. But its not just about getting laughs, it's about getting "smart" laughs. I was having dinner with jonaswildman and his wife the other night at my parents house. My grandfather has a very dry, but sharp as a tack, german wit. When asked by my grandfather if she'd like another slice of pizza, jonas' wife responded, "no, I'm good." My grandfather responded with, "I have no doubt that you are good. I have never felt I was bad simply because I was still hungry. If you want another slice your virtue is not at stake." It wasn't Chris Rock funny, but it was definitely humorous. -This from an 80 year old man. My fathers pretty funny too, and my brother and sister. We all try and make each other laugh whenever we are together. I was talking with jonaswildman about talking funny -the talk with Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Louis CK and Ricky Gervais. They all mention that they had friends growing up that were funnier than them. But, they work really, really hard at crafting what they do. Is funny innate? A bit of it is, but a lot of it is just hard work. So I do think you can become funny. Also, I think being someone that is quick to laugh and appreciates good humor is as important as someone that can create it. A good laugh is such a great thing.
That's a great line from your grandfather! His "not-skip-a-beat" timing is impressive -- that's an important aspect of becoming nonchalantly hilarious - being able to come up with a funny, thoughtful response on the spot. If we keep working at it forwardslash, maybe by the time we're 80, we'll get it right..
I heard this on the radio this morning: "Comedy is just a prism through which you filter your experiences." If you can see something funny in your worst experience, even if it's just a little thing, it helps give you perspective. For example, my daughter is giving me a lot of grief right now - I won't go on about it here, but it's bad. The only thing that slows my raging anger to a simmer is when I think of what I put my mother through (and what I put myself through on the way to becoming an adult).
I think it's same as creativity/originality in anything, whether that be art, design, music composition, etc. It's all just about having a wide background knowledge which you can dissect and connect. Knowledge of the the people you're with, comedies you've watched, stand ups you've seen or books you've read. All that, combined with the right judgement of the moment just allows humour to naturally flow.
I think it would require you to become very very comfortable in any situation your in, many of my very close friends think I'm hilarious but I'm actually a very quiet person unless I have at least an acquaintance with me.
Study Bob Newhart. Comedic genius at "the sane man in the insane world".
I find the most observant people are often the funniest. 'Being funny' is really a tough thing to nail down to some sort of science (in a non-performance environment), but those who are most observant and aware of their surroundings tend to connect things in ways others find funny and can point things out others may have missed.
This is something I've been thinking about a lot. (I've been trying to write funny poems.) I think there are different flavors of humor, but some ways to be funny that I've come up with: - being unexpected, as lil mentioned.
-being related but in an unexpected way, as rezzeJ is kind of getting at, and also lil with the biker comment. My dad does this a lot. Here's an example of something I said recently that he found funny, to illustrate: I was giving him directions to my new house and I said, "OK, once you get into the neighborhood you'll hit a stop sign. Well - don't hit it, try just to stop at it, ok?" It's related to the topic being discussed but approaches it in an unexpected manner.
- hyperbole/exaggeration which can be related to
-being wry I also think people enjoy self-deprecating humor. I was sick recently and had a very hoarse voice. Went to Wawa for chicken soup and the man asked me how I was doing. I was buying OJ and soup so I figured it was probably really clear I was sick especially with my voice, but I just said I was doing so-so. He said "Better than bad right?" and I said "You're right! I could have lost my voice...But then I think there are some people out there who wouldn't mind if that happened!" This really took him by surprise and he laughed a lot. I think part of it was because it was unexpected, and maybe that's why self-deprecating humor works - because people don't expect you to poke fun at yourself - but I think it's also because I was willing to acknowledge, Hey! I don't think I'm the queen of everything! There's an upside to every situation! I don't know. Some of my thoughts.
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hey, I've been thinking about this post. I know people don't usually like to toot their own horns too much, but I'd like to hear about some little blink-of-an-eye comments that were nonchalantly hilarious. Did you make someone laugh today? I should probably make this a brand new post... maybe another time.
I really gotta stop letting my notifications pile up, lol. I end up spending most of my time with my wife so that's who I make laugh often. Last night she was craving strawberries and I told her it was because strawberries are the chocolate of the fruit world. She then laughed while giving me a wtf? look and I said, "And obviously chocolate is the chocolate of the chocolate world." which sent her into a fit of laughter. In hindsight something in the moment made it a lot funnier than I can give it credit, but I was rather proud of that.