a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by user-inactivated
user-inactivated  ·  3183 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Lying to Myself // To the Small Town of Hubski

Lord Mercy. You need to relax. So you insulted kleinbl00. So he in retaliation insulted you. Okay. Fine. That happens. It's part of life. Learn from it what you need to, then let it go. The moment has passed and dwelling on it and paining over it isn't going to get you anywhere. Learn to learn and then let go. Not only will you become more mindful, but you'll find life easier to deal with in the long run.





kleinbl00  ·  3183 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yeah, the whole "I choose to make a meta post instead of try to smooth things over" approach is a peculiar strategy.

20 years of Internet warfare have taught me one thing: if you prick an asshole and they act wounded and try to smooth things over, they weren't really an asshole and you can both move on with greater understanding and affinity. If you prick an asshole and they double down, you just saved yourself 10 rounds of being polite to an asshole.

insomniasexx  ·  3183 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Coming soon: post list of people who pick fights with kleinbl00. This may be better than the "...Yo" post list.

kleinbl00  ·  3183 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I have every expectation that it will make me look GREAT.

not.

Seriously, though - there's this bizarre phenomenon that happens when people navigate from a big website to a small one. The big website discourse is generally "I HAVE AN OPINION!" "I disagree with your opinion." "YOU ARE AN ASSCAMEL!" "DIAFN00B!" the end. The small website discourse goes "I HAVE AN OPINION!" "I disagree with your opinion." "YOU ARE AN ASSCAMEL!" "Uhm... this isn't how I choose to spend my time. Good day." ...which leaves the transplant grasping for combat because they just aren't sure what to do, so they decide that the problem was Teh Dramaz wasn't big enough so they double down.

Most of them go away after a week or so; the fact that Hubski is a lousy place for flame wars leaves a certain segment of the internet completely at sea. But before they get there, we're left dealing with a group of people that simply don't know how to de-escalate an argument.

user-inactivated  ·  3183 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I've definitely been having to keep reigns on those knee-jerk reactionary type responses, having migrated over here from Reddit in the past week. I tell myself: Take a moment, breathe. Do not engage the trolls. Be nice. Don't take it personally. This website or the things said on it don't constitute the entirety of your reality.

kleinbl00  ·  3183 days ago  ·  link  ·  

More importantly: if you've been misunderstood, explain yourself. If you feel insulted, say that you feel insulted. If the person meant to insult you, you know you can ignore each other peacefully. If they didn't, there's nothing to build friendship quite like working through a misunderstanding.

user-inactivated  ·  3183 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    But before they get there, we're left dealing with a group of people that simply don't know how to de-escalate an argument.

Do you not feel like it may be beneficial to respond with the knowledge of how to deal with it? I'm not talking about myself - I fucked up - but others are simply doing their best and don't know any better yet. If one has the beneficial knowledge, aren't they supposed to share it, for it will benefit everybody?

swedishbadgergirl  ·  3155 days ago  ·  link  ·  

HE DOES!

When I got here I was in an argument with him, and he explained exactly everything about small town internet to me. '

Namely, not everyone has to interact with you. They will if they want to, but they have no obligation to do so.

whanhee  ·  3183 days ago  ·  link  ·  
This comment has been deleted.
insomniasexx  ·  3183 days ago  ·  link  ·  

thenewgreen  ·  3183 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I love it! Best part is, I'm probably on the list and now the guy is a friend. There are a number of these examples.

cgod drove me nuts at first 'cause we had different political opinions. Now the guy is easily one of my favourite hubskiers. Also, he's changed my thinking on a number of things.

Rational people can disagree rationally.

Can't wait for the post insomn:)

humanodon  ·  3183 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Well . . . perhaps not so peculiar (since it seems to keep happening).

_refugee_  ·  3146 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Dude I somehow missed this entire thing.

swedishbadgergirl  ·  3155 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Hi kbl00! Thank you for really making me understand that.

thenewgreen  ·  3183 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I think coffeesp00ns gave some advice saying something akin to "this is the Internet and written words can be misconstrued." So true. I didn't read this post and only skimmed the comments that promoted it. Not too interested in the drama of it. But sp00ns point rings true to me after this recent comment that is a perfect example: and to kleinbl00's comment about pricking an asshole, it's usually pretty obvious when malice is intended.

Afk on phone. Sorry for brevity.