I am aware that these simple thoughts come to mind because I do not live in an overtly, life-sucking oppressive regime. I am not fleeing tyranny. Still, each of us might be seeking a situation when we can be most emotionally, creatively, and humanly free.
When I was 17 years old I had a job working at a place called the Pita pit. One day it was just me and the owner working. I was making the sandwiches and he was working the register. There was a line out the door, I was struggling to keep up. I messed up one of the sandwiches and after wrapping it in it's foil and handing it to the owner he saw the mistake. and threw the sandwich back at me hitting me in the chest saying "are you stupid?" I made one more sandwich, and instead of writing the name on the tinfoil of the sandwich I wrote "have fun!" handed it to the owner, took off my apron and put it on the counter., and walked out the back door to my car. He followed me out there begging and pleading for me to stay, apologizing the whole time. I never turned back to look at him, just got in my car and drove off. I felt incredibly free that day.
That's an awesome story. I wish more people had the ability and the confidence to tell a-hole bosses to shove it. Everyone, even a 17 year old kid at a shift job, deserves to be treated with respect at work. It's a shame that so many people have to deal with entitled dicks for bosses who think their job isn't to make the place run well, but rather to cow heard their employees.
Did you ever see the Howard Stern film Private Parts? Say what you will about Stern (I happen to think the guy is brilliant) but he knows how to deal with a shitty boss. The way he handles Paul Giamati's character in that film is great. I agree that nobody should have to suffer a shitty boss. I wouldn't.
I'm pretty sure that every city has a place called The Pita Pit. That is an awesome way to quit a job.
It felt really good at the time. Years later, with some life experience and added perspective I realized that he simply cracked under the pressure of having a new business that was over busy and under staffed. I saw the human behind the behavior. -it doesn't excuse it but I definitely "understand" it better.
I would say exactly at this moment. Seriously. I have more obligations than when I was younger, but they don't feel restrictive in any way. I have more love and more money in my life right now than I thought possible until very recently, and these things are both quite liberating. This certainly isn't as romantic as thinking about the open road as a youngster, but I wouldn't trade my life now for the one I had where I used to follow around Phish and scrounge for enough money to buy a grilled cheese in the parking lot. That was fun as hell, but my options were limited. Right now, I can go anywhere, do anything I want. mk and I are on our way to a business trip oversees in a couple weeks. What's freer than a free trip with a good friend to an awesome part of the world to go freely talk about science with a bunch of other science nerds who are there for the same reason? Life couldn't get any better, I'm afraid.
yeah, now is good. Of course if one is not feeling free right now, it might be worth asking: Are my chains of my own choosing and worth wearing because of the benefits they bring (e.g. a job, a family)? Are my chains not of my choosing and can they be broken by a change of belief or behaviour? Were my chains once of my own choosing (e.g. addictions), but now enslave me? and so on.
Thought about this for a while and when I was studying in France there's one day in particular that stands out. It was a beautiful day and I decided to take the bus into the city-center without anybody else, in a city that I came to love and be a stranger in, and all I did was spend the entire day walking around and occasionally stopping at some cafes. The day was spent purposefully getting myself lost in the old part of the city, and in those moments I was entirely free of everything but the next discovery.
Probably on an ayahuasca trip...or on DMT. How's that, how's that so free? Fuck if I know. Seriously just imagine the one thing. Flashing through thunderclouds in space, time, barriers just seem to dissolve as we move forth into the divine. From dimension to dimension.What's the free-est you ever been?
like you noted, i'm more free daily than a good portion of people in the world. The most free i've felt though was last summer backpacking around NC/SC with my friend. Outside of seeing our friend and a music festival we had no set plans, so everyday was just about finding something interesting to do and finding a dry place to sleep that night.
How old are you? Just curious, because if I tried that kind of stuff now I would probably end up getting arrested. Ex. When my parents were dating, if they wanted to go camping they took a tent, found a nice spot in the woods on the side of the road or on the beach (Upper Peninsula of Michigan, Mid-late 70's) and camped. Can't do that now.
I just turned 21 a few month ago, so pretty young. Most the places we slept outside were around the area of the Appalachian trail so i think they were pretty used to back packers. Sleeping in asheville we were in between some bushes and a building to avoid the rain so no one could really see us anyways. I don't think you'd get arrested though! It's not illegal to be homeless, they'd just tell you to move along elsewhere.
In my early twenties I moved to the East Coast with a bunch of my best friends. We lived, worked, and played together and it was fun. I didn't own much of anything which meant that I didn't feel any external pressures. I never had to tell myself "No." That isn't to say I was happier, because I'm very happy now (it was a blast though). But now I have a wife, a mortgage, a car, and am aware of things like retirement savings, where I was not before. Basically, I'm on the hamster wheel (and digging it by the way) and I have to maintain a state of forward momentum to meet my current obligations to both my future self's security and happiness, as well as my current self's lifestyle. And again, -the wife. So yea. I don't feel free like I used to during that period of my life. That is, in part, a very good and positive thing, believe me. That past, heightened, degree of mobility though is attractive. I've got a lot to do in my time before I see that again, but next time it will be earned.
"Free" feels different at different times in our lives.
Earlier in life it's "free from" parents, school, rules, pressure, various kinds of self-restraint. Later in life it's "free to" do more things [wife, mortgage, car]. There seems to be an ongoing movement between adventure and security. Each provides its own kind of freedom and its own kind of slavery.
During the wee hours of morning, when everyone has gone to sleep. My class schedule does not permit me pulling all-nighters for no reason any more, so I've been experiencing fewer and fewer of these episodes. But when I'm sitting on my desk, poring over the finer points of using monads or logging hours into Skyrim, I feel that if I could just push back the dawn I'd be able to accomplish anything. That said, I don't know if I should miss that feeling. Deciding to not be true to my night owl nature has bought me company in the mornings and so I think it has been worth it.
Society vs Solitude There's freedom in solitude (especially the wee hours kind of solitude) until it becomes oppression and we look for a different kind of freedom in the company of others (until it becomes oppression and we seek soitude.) Your comment made me think of Thoreau's words, I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
But Thoreau lived a short way from town and went regularly to see his friends and have dinner with his mother.
I think it's as much in autonomy as it is in freedom. Preferably, I always want to choose whether I feel like interacting or not. A friend of mine lives in the apartment next door and he randomly comes by with a cup of coffee to hang out. Most of the times I don't mind but I often just want to be alone and I'm not gonna be the asshole to tell him to leave me alone.
It really was something amazing. It was a time when I think everyone was caught off guard and people felt like they could freely air out their long-held grievances with the way things were going. It had supporters the likes of Judith Butler, Lemony Snicket, and I personally will never forget this one by composer Philip Glass: In those times you could really figure out who to look up to.
Separate thought: I completely understand. I am not at a point in my life where chronic pain is something I have to deal with, so it's harder to remember to revel in the moments when I feel great, but every time I have a bad headache or a shin splint I feel a bit freer for a week or so afterward. Unfortunately we don't tend to think about pain until we're in it -- we'd be a lot happier if we were able to constantly compare our suffering to the worst suffering we'd ever had.Every day in July 2012, my back hurt. I treated myself with hot showers and yoga, but the pain continued. During a visit to Dale Alexander, a massage therapist, he readjusted something quite dramatically, and in an instant, the chronic pain was gone. I felt free of pain. I am always aware and appreciative of the times I am free of pain.
I recently had headaches for three days straight - woke up with one on day 3 - and the feeling of waking up without one was wonderful the next day. It was probably among the first times I really became concious of what lil describes in her post, the wonderful freedom of not being in pain. You really can't learn to appreciate that fully until you have experienced more persistent, extended pain, I think.
Backpacking on the far side of North Manitou Island, Michigan. This is simply the furthest I have ever been from the constraining presence of human beings. Not a sight of humans or their works -- just myself, the lake, and the sky. In another sense, of course, I was unusually constrained. Being lazy in nature has consequences. You have to attend to your own support, or things will become unpleasant rather quickly. Freedom has many meanings, including, for me, a sense of self reliance.
So far I've felt the most free when I moved to Viet Nam, which I'd never been to before. Other than my job, I had no commitments and over time I'd gained enough experience and a strong enough reputation that I was confident that I'd be able to find work in my field without too much trouble. There's something liberating about being in a place where the support systems that develop over a lifetime are suddenly gone, where one doesn't know any of the rules. Too much freedom of a particular kind can rot the mind though. It's really easy to give in to hedonism and to forget that there are other things that one could be doing other than seeking basic and temporary satisfaction. What has helped to ground me most often is the recognition that absolute freedom also means a lack of connection to things that I feel are really important, like relationships with family and friends. Those can be hard to maintain, especially between people who don't or haven't traveled much. Coming back from a long time away can be like finding out that a tricycle is just as easily a bicycle, or a unicycle or a pogo stick. There are many different kinds of freedom and I don't think they're all equal. In the end though, I don't think we can really say that we're totally free-- real life intrudes too often. Money runs out, or someone gets injured, or a need isn't met because of the choices one makes. I have a lot of freedom now, but it's the freedom of choice. This is a kind of freedom that can be paralyzing because I know that whatever choices I make will open some doors and close others. I think most people have much more freedom of choice than they're willing to admit to themselves. There are always choices to be made, but choices come with consequences. Hopefully I'll be able to figure out what the best choices will be for me to make so that I can set myself up for the kind of freedom I want to have.
This is a kind of freedom that can be paralyzing because I know that whatever choices I make will open some doors and close others.
You are so right. Freedom can be paralyzing -- endless possibilities can be overwhelming. Many people choose to be controlled by beliefs of one sort or another rather than embrace unlimited choices.
A little over two and a half years ago, I hiked a section of the Appalachian Trail. It was maybe 35 miles in 4 days, but the views were absolutely breathtaking, and it has convinced me to go thru hike it. I don't know exactly when I'm going to do it, but I know that one day, I will.
Oh god, I'm in a terrible relationship right now. bonjourdemain Someone save me.
I was being sarcastic. I tagged bonjourdemain because she's a bit more special to me than the rest of you. ;D
Yeah, it's surprisingly good. Now that I've got my head clear it's kind of like this. So many possibilities....the first week or two after a breakup is fucking fantastic.
To be a little bit of a contrarian, I feel a little more free when I'm in a relationship. I'm free to not put up a strong, confident front all the time. I'm free to be more myself around people I don't know, because I have no mating-instinct-driven desire to impress and peacock around. But, because I'm single more than I'm in a relationship, this may be (Most likely is) a grass is always greener type deal.
It is hard to encapsulate why I feel less free, but I think it is the simple act of having to care about someone else, and that the way I spend my time also affects them. Sometimes I find it exhausting to have to go through the rigamarole of texting, setting up dates to meet up, listening to the other person's problems, and so on. I am selfish and I know this and I don't think that's a sin in and of itself. And I care; there isn't a doubt in my mind that I care. But the caring, in a way, is what limits my freedom.