For all those who have ever felt keel-hauled at the bottom of the world after a night of unrestrained revelry. Please enjoy part one of my contribution to this very important branch of survival literature.
Why is it that this is easier said than done? Is it because we can only drink so much liquid and when weighing the options of which is the more important to consume, alcohol is the undisputed victor? I think that's my excuse. I make the mistake of not drinking any water when I'm out having a few cocktails and that's a recipe for disaster. Question for you cW, is there any truth to the advice that you shouldn't mix your beer, wine and liquor? When I was a young lad, new in the ways of alcohol, I recall people saying "beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer and you're in the clear." -To your knowledge, is there any truth there? Excellent piece cW, I look forward to part 2!We hear many complaints about the uselessness of the oft-repeated prescription of hydration. “If I’d had the sense to drink an adequate amount of water the night before, then I wouldn’t have woken in this dreadful state in the first place.” And it’s true: much of the benevolently distributed wisdom masquerading as remedy amounts to little more than sanctimonious jeering. “If you’d had the good sense and proportion to pace yourself and drink water, you wouldn’t be suffering now,” and the like. In other words, you deserve what you get. True? Who can say. Helpful? Hardly. Humane? Not in the least.
I can't tell you how many times I have begun an evening by saying to myself "I'm going to have a glass of water for every beer/drink I consume." But I can tell you how many times I have followed through with it -zero.
Glad you enjoyed! And thanks for reading. I do find that, as a night of revelry goes on, the mid-way hydration becomes increasingly difficult to hang onto. I think you're right, that part of the problem is that, when confronted with two liquids, one simply water, the other a magic potion, the choice seems obvious. Not that we really choose in the instant to shun the path of hydration. Rather, I think we're magnetically pulled toward the cocktail/beer/wine moreso than toward the humble glass of h2o, because, if it's a well-made beverage, it just offers a lot more breadth and depth of flavor. It also usually contains enough calories to verge on "meal in a glass" status, and therefore wins out in terms of that kind of satiation, too. For all of these reasons, I recommend drawing the water into rhythm with your libation of choice by viewing it differently:
It's not in competition with your Manhattan. It's the negative space in your Manhattan. It's the rest between the trumpet blasts, the palate calming, palate cleansing intermezzo that allows your cocktail to taste, with every sip, exactly as delicious as it can. Also, from a meditative standpoint, I look at the long, leisurely pull from my tumbler of water as a reminder that the evening is unhurried; that I am incredibly well positioned, and quite blessed, to have delicious and consciousness-altering concoctions arriving before me, say nothing of whatever else will follow. It's the plateau where I lounge and regard from a state of repose the dazzling experiences which are flowing in my direction. And from there, the whole evening opens up, and seems to breathe with space and liberty. Don't know if any of these mental tricks will help. If not, repairs are always well within your grasp! Regarding rhymes, and the order of drinking they prescribe, I think they're useful to a point, but (as is often the case with conventional wisdom presented in aphorism) woefully oversimplistic. There are also many different versions, some of which seem in conflict with one another. ( Here's one of my favorite versions, which makes fun of the whole idea of the thing). There's also the german version, about beer and wine: "Bier auf Wein, das laß sein.
Wein auf Bier, das rat' ich dir" and the rough translation is so great, because it feels so German to me: Beer after wine, leave it be. Wine after beer? I recommend it! The simpler the wisdom, the more situations it overlooks. These directives offer a basic starting point to keep novices from erring badly, but those who know the ropes can certainly execute more daring maneuvers, and gracefully. If I had to replace these quotes with something more broadly useful, it would be this: the more different types of alcohol you consume, the greater your chance of a catastrophic reaction. Keep it simple, and in general, work in one direction. Going back and forth numerous times between categories fermented and distilled will probably lead to pain. Beyond that, there's a nearly infinite realm of personal variance. Gin disagrees violently with some, even those quite acclimated to liquid culture, while it treats others quite handsomely. So I guess the answer differs for everyone, which is why it really is a good to know your poison, which in turn requires that one do as the ancients recommend, and "know thyself." (Only just that?) At any rate, these rules of thumb have helped quite a few people minimize their pain, which makes them alright in my book. Thanks again for reading!
cW, thenewgreen, I would also mention, anecdotally, that whenever I have to choose between water and an alcoholic drink, I go with the latter because I already have to pee so much when I'm out drinking that water just strikes me as a waste of time.
That's the kind of practical decision that makes you wake up with what seems like sawdust in your mouth and a pounding head that seems to weigh fifty pounds. Peeing more may be preferential to that, but I've never been able to see far enough ahead or behind to make the right call.
Similarly: "beer before wine, you'll be just fine; wine before beer, you'll be feeling queer." (In the original sense of "queer", obviously; drinking wine and beer probably doesn't make you homosexual.)
I don't want to preempt part II, but don't forget the salt! Those many trips to the loo take salt with that water. Just look at the "signs and symptoms" of hyponatremia: nausea and vomiting, headache, confusion, lethargy, fatigue, loss of appetite, restlessness and irritability, muscle weakness, spasms, or cramps, seizures, and decreased consciousness or coma. All but the last three sound spot on, and it continues: "The presence and severity of symptoms are associated with the level of serum sodium".
Very good point! In fact, if I understand the function of electrolytes correctly (and I may well not), one should really try to dose on the full complement of such minerals, not just salt. (Potassium, chloride, bicarbonate ... what else am I missing?) Depletion of any of these seems dire. Of course, they can be consumed in solid food as well, as humanodon mentions, but why not flank the problem? Other comments offer a wide array of helpful methods. I don't have a solid source myself (nor an I/V setup for that matter) but I have it on good authority from several sources that b_b's saline drip is most definitely the fastest recovery method. AlderaanDuran introduces us to pedialyte (thanks!), which sounds like a more potent and medicinal gatorade, and just a little bit creeperish at the same time. I'll have to give it a try, though I might need some dinosaur vitamins to go with it. I do prefer to glean my remedies in the form of whole and non-chemically altered/isolated foods whenever possible though, which is why insomniasexx's recommendation of coconut water appeals to me so much. It's surely the most pleasurable of electrolyte packing liquids, with the possible exception of her other recommendation, beer, which scratches two itches at once, hydrating rapidly, while also taking the edge off (more on this in step ... 7?) And for those who would rather get their electrolytes in (partially) solid and savory form, humanodon's recommendation of phở tái is truly difficult to beat. (For those among you not currently eating red meat, Olive and I recently proved the dish could be translated into shrimp and veggie territory to truly delightful effect.) Thanks, mk, for bringing this up, and thanks all for the array of recommendations. I might have gotten around to covering this, but surely not as deeply as we've discussed it here. And thanks also for the word hyponatremia, which I didn't have stashed anywhere on my person! The symptoms of that, together with hypokalemia (potassium deficiency, yes?) sound like they offer several of the key culprits constituting the elsewise nameless dysphoria of the hangover.
Hey man, have you checked out the "Hangover Helper" tag at Serious Eats?
Valium and/or vicodin. Seriously. They give valium to those people who are severely addicted to alcohol during withdrawal. It knocks the hangover right out. After 3 hour flight + 12 hours drinkng midstrength beer at a music festival I was BEAT. Shakes and cold sweats and all. After a valium I was golden. If controlled substances aren't in your reach, coconut water helps. When I'm hungover it's usually just power through it or have another beer.
Valium, eh? I'll have to look into this. I'm far from chemist or pharmacologist, but I wouldn't mind apprenticing myself to an apothecary. Do you know, are valium and vicodin in the same family? I ask because an acquaintance recently touted the marriage of oxycodone and alcohol as something of an elixir. I have no experience of such "cocktails," and by no means am I in position to recommend them, but the question is an intriguing one. Valium seems to be a different kind of -codone. Perhaps they have similarly complemetary effects? Thanks for the tip!
They are not the same family. Valium is Diazepam which is for anxiety, etc. From wikipedia: Diazepam is mainly used to treat anxiety, insomnia, and symptoms of acute alcohol withdrawal. It is also used as a premedication for inducing sedation, anxiolysis or amnesia before certain medical procedures It is known also as a "benzo" which is short for benzodiazepines (also in this class are things like xanax, etc. Vicodins (or norcos, lorabs, same class as percocets and oxycotin) aare hydrocodone and don't really fix the hangover as much as cover it up with the typical euphoric feeling painkillers deliver. They are typically easier to get on the street, or from pretty much any urgent care that has an on-site pharmacy and likes cash, and less likely to make you sleepy which is why I occasionally use them for work hangover days. However, as the vicodin wears off, the hangover can come back to life. oxycodone (percocets) and alcohol are a bad combo in my book, like vicodin and alcohol, mostly because it makes you drunker. Typically hydrocodone is a tad harsh on the stomach (not unbearably so, but slight nausea for some.) The only time I started drinking within a few hours of taken a norco, I threw it all up about 5 minutes later. Pretty bummer. I don't know many who prefer that exilir, but I know a lot of people who like the xanax alcohol combo or adderall alcohol. Don't know why for the prior, just seems like a lot of blacked out numbness to me.
Wow, thank you. That's a very thorough breakdown, and gives me a good starting context for a bunch of substances I've never consumed before. Though I deeply value the knowledge of such things as can transform my view of the world by altering my chemical state, I've steered clear of most lab-confabulated products, and have a corresponding ignorance. As for the acquaintance who mentioned percocet/drink as a magic mix, I think spaciness may well have been the goal -- though surely not ooginess. That sounds simply awful, by the way. On the subject of keeping things as herbal as possible, I have noted that Kave root has been compared to benzo in its effects. Any idea if it offers the same magical hangover-vanquishing properties? If not, I'll let you know if I find out. Either way, plants are nifty. Thanks for enlightening me!
I haven't tried Kave root but I recently got some Kratom capsules from the head shop close to me. They offered a slight euphoric feeling with a giddyness similar to weed and a antsy/super focused similar to amphetamines. However, I only got these results taking it on an empty stomach and walking around. My boyfriend and some friends didn't feel much at all. I am tiny so I have a nice low tolerance to such things. It didn't cure my hangover though when I tried it, but made my work day slightly more bearable.
Intriguing. I assume kratom is some sort of kava extracted/isolated substance? The kava teas I've tried have only induced a rather deep state of calm in me, not anything like antsyness. However, I know these things vary widely from one system to another. Let the great experiment continue!
Vicodin can work--I used to use Norcos for this purpose--but you want to be careful since opiates will also exacerbate your nausea. Also, try to pick a hydrocodone preparation that has as little acetaminophen as possible; alcohol already exerts a pretty negative effect on your liver, and following it with acetaminophen is like a one-two punch.
I think I have a comment in one of the hangover threads about norcos / vicodin and their wondrous effects on hangovers. That and fried rice with eggs and hot sauce on top. I always do a cold water extraction on them though because acetaminophen and alcohol is really, really terrible for your liver. In Australia, everyone used Valium for the hangovers and it worked really well as well. Apparently, they use valium and other benzos for people suffering from really bad alcohol withdrawals. Back here it just seems to make me incredibly sleepy. I don't know why it was different over there. It may be because I only take pills to cure my hangover at work - weekends I force myself to power through it because that's what I get for drinking too much. Perhaps Valium work = sleep while valium hanging out with friends is less likely to lead to sleepiness?
3 advil + Pedialyte = AlderaanDuran's Hangover Cure. Like TNG said, I never actually drink water the night before. Always tell myself I'll keep hydrated, but if you're gonna get a hang over, you're also probably going to be too drunk to care or remember that stuff. If anything, I do that thing where I TRY to put down a glass of water at the end of the night when I already have the spins and want to sleep on a bathroom floor more than anything. It's sound that hydration is key, but in execution I rarely follow through with it... well... because I'm drunk. But seriously, Pedialyte.
Yes. From their FAQ: It's a product made to treat dehydration from diarrhea in children, so like they say, it's sweet so that it's not awful to drink. But it has a shit ton of electrolytes and other vital things lost from any form of dehydration, be it pooing yourself to death, or a long night of drinking.Q: Why are sweeteners added to Pedialyte? Why not just add sugar to make it sweeter? Pedialyte contains the quantity and ratio of sugar (glucose) and minerals (electrolytes) recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics. This precise balance of sugar and electrolytes makes Pedialyte effective in the management, treatment, and prevention of dehydration due to diarrhea with or without vomiting. Without added sweeteners, Pedialyte is not sweet enough for many children to drink. Adding sugar to Pedialyte may make diarrhea worse by drawing water into the intestine, increasing the risk of dehydration. Adding sweeteners makes Pedialyte taste good without the risks of adding sugar. When Pedialyte tastes good, children drink enough of it to maintain hydration and replace needed minerals when they have diarrhea and vomiting.
Oh, I understand that. Sugar fuels hangovers though. I'd guess my "cure" accomplishes similar things. 1 x can seltzer/soda water with a lime
1 x can v8 or tomato juice, hot sauce and lime added
1 x banana blended into a milk Alternatively phở tái (the one with the very thinly sliced raw beef) with tons of herbs, hoisin, chilis and lime juice thrown in, making sure to finish as much of the broth as possible. Then, a few push-ups, if possible or ideally a massage to really get stuff moving. If none of that works, then more booze.
phở tái! This is exciting, even though (or because?) it does somewhat pre-empt my step 6. (Or was it 5?) It's one on a short list I'm compiling of foods most ideal for recovery. Soda/v8/lime/banana/hot sauce/milk? Wow. Can't say I'd have put all those together. Still, I can see what each element is trying to contribute. If in extreme duress, I owe it to science and your contribution to try it. MMMV, and I'll be sure to get back to you about it.
Oh oops, formatting! Sorry cW! Those are not supposed to be blended all together. 1st, soda with lime, 2nd, v8/tomato juice w/hot sauce, 3rd, banana shake! I guess it might save time all mixed together, but I doubt it would be a pleasure. These are to be consumed in succession, over a period of time. Edit: In regard to phở tái, it's worth seeing if the place you get it carries pickled garlic. It's usually whole cloves or vertically sliced slivers of garlic and whole green chili in . . . well I don't know actually, a clear liquid anyway, but adding some of that liquid to the phở is goddamn magic.
Ha! Now it all makes sense. I was saluting your bravery, if perhaps not your palate. I can now strike that and reverse it. (Not that I'm in any way questioning your bravery!) I've definitely done the lime/soda, and the v8/hot sauce subject will also return to us in a later installment. The banana shake is one of my favorite breakfasts, whether on mornings of recovery, or delightfully normal ones. I don't know if I've ever strung them together in the same half a day though. I'll have to try it. Thanks!