For a few years now my work has been going well, but in the last year things have started to either feel stagnant or like they're moving in a direction I don't really like.
I'm not sure what to do with that so I'm ask all of you, when your life felt stagnant or like it's moving in the wrong direction, what did you do?
I'm looking for ideas and ways to think through things - any words, no matter how tangential, would probably be helpful.
I can usually only stand things being the same for around two years. Then, if I don't shake it up somehow, I start to feel more and more blaaaaaagh. That said, I've lived with the same partner for seventeen years and I also don't seem to be bored with my toddler yet! You don't need to change everything to move things along a bit. Try reviewing your actual goals, not just career-based ones. Actually look at what sort of life you would like to be leading in five years, ten years, twenty years... I've even found it useful to examine my hundred year goals, the world I'd like my daughter to exist in. It's really clarified some of my environmental and political responsibilities. Once you've done that, see if the actions you're taking are getting you closer to these goals. If you feel you're stagnating, I'm guessing that at least some of your goals are being neglected. My other advice would be to read Your Money or Your Life. Even people who don't plan to leave the workforce can benefit from an examination of why they're working.
For me, stagnation is usually a sign I am avoiding something. Life is naturally full and busy. Generally speaking, if you aren't busy, then you are avoiding something. In denial. Oddly enough, I have found the solution is to make space. Make time just for me. Go calm. Quiet. And wait. Once the noise dies down, and I am not full of "busyness", clarity usually comes pretty quickly.
What helped me a lot (and first let me wholeheartedly second what goobster said) was realizing, as cliche as it is, that I'm not my job. Because even though I understood that on some level intellectually, I hadn't really internalized it enough. So now, a lawyer is something I happen to be doing to get paid while I do what's really important. If someone asks me what I do, my first answer is that I teach kung fu, even though that's not something I devote 40 hours a week to (yet!). Because that's more what my life is focused on. In other words, you don't have to choose between your two types of jobs.
In addition to the hundred year goals suggested by Gem, you can break down that goal into 2 years milestones between major changes in the way you live your life. A lot of successful people I know seem to operate at that pace. For example, something financial (making significantly more salary, exiting a company, building an investment, etc.), personal (physical and mental health goals), or a hobby (write a book, sell some furniture you made), anything. I get bored really easily, but luckily so does my family. We're on our third country in 8 years. It's definitely not for everyone but we like it. Our medium term (5-10 year) plan is more continent based.
Good question, I'm just going to run through what's going on. I just got married and bought a house a town over from where I grew up. I love my wife, she's the one pushing me to think about what I want to do, and I love my house, I've always been the person who just wanted to be a homeowner. I also feel like I'm doing pretty well socially - guy's night once a week, a good d&d group monthly, close family and plenty of vacations. I also just joined a church, I'm not a church person but we work a large garden and make meals from what we grow to give to the hungry which feels worth while. The reason I feel like it's work that's the issue is because I'm so often running into walls here. I'm fine with running into walls, but I feel like I don't have the right tools (personality wise) to bring them down. I also feel like I ended up here by "going with the flow" and not by being the captain of my own ship. I'm not sure if that's what I want.
So, some bigger picture questions here. Do you have a LinkedIn? Do you love the company? Do you want to stay there? It sounds like you no longer love the role (due to its evolution). If you're open to moving, check out LinkedIn and see what kinds of opportunities or recruiters might be sniffing in your area. If you want to stay at the company, I'd honestly start by asking friends about open positions in their departments (if they like their jobs) or casually checking out the internal postings boards. I suspect it is harder to reverse engineer your evolved position than it would be to find a new position which could be a better fit for you. The other benefit of a new position is you change things up; just doing new and different things, breaking your regular work pattern/paradigm, usually forces people to become more engaged with what they're doing. Have you read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People? Don't scoff and call it manipulation; it's more like the dummy's guide for how to positively interact with people because most of us think we know all this shit and either forget or don't bother actually doing it. I've been rereading it myself to apply in work situations and sounds like it might help you with that personality gap you're feeling. If you ended up where you are by going with the flow but you're happy with what you're doing, dismiss all hand-wringing that you didn't steer the ship. If you went with the flow and you're truly not happy - like really miserable, like "I don't want to go to work today" more mornings than not - then yeah, maybe try to steer your ship a little more. I fell into a sub-banking industry by total accident straight out of college. After 7 years it turns out I'm pretty great at it and also love what I do...I didn't steer my ship here, I lucked into it on the current, but if I'm happy I'm happy. So - do you think you're really unhappy because you went with the flow, or do you just think a lot (I think a lot too) and worry that you should've taken more active individual ownership getting there because that's what other people and society seem to say you should've done? Do you trust and like your manager, or have a mentor in your immediate department who you might be able to talk to about how your role has changed, and if that's typical/what might be a good way to change it back, or if this is just the career progression for your dept which you're on? Private, gently probing "just help me get an idea on how this works" sort of conversations with people you trust - don't go to your manager if he's going to start ringing alarm bells or interpret your feelings negatively on your year end review. Them's my thots. My life changes a lot. I usually move every year, plus all the other things. I tend to be more comfortable taking certain risks, like changing jobs or companies, not everyone might feel comfortable pursuing. As a whole, I would say - within reason, trusting your gut, take the risks of "big" change like different companies or even different industries when they come up - at first they're scary but you learn so much more on a macro perspective. (Ignore all of this if your job has great perks and benefits that are unlikely to be met elsewhere.) Idk, maybe this was useful.
That was very useful, especially in helping me think about how I actually feel. I don't think I'm miserable in my work, but I do feel pretty powerless in my position - there's not much of a support structure. There's been this attempt to build one, but the organization is so large and the priority is so low that it's a long slow process where I'm waiting more than not and I'm not a big fan of waiting. My wife started her own business last year, after years of me telling her she should, and it's going great. I've had an idea for a business for years and I've never made the move because it's scary. I think it's starting to set in that I could do the thing I've been thinking of for years if I can muster a little courage.
I've been doing what I'm doing for a little over two years now. I got this position because I was doing tasks I liked and that seemed to be useful, so they made it my job. Over those two years I've answered every, "can you do this?" with a yes and my job slowly shifted to this project management work that I don't like.
Have you talked to your management team about what you do and don't enjoy about what you're currently doing, or inquired about opportunities to change things up or add/delete responsibilities with your job? Is there something you currently do that can be passed along to someone else on your team in order to free you up to learn something new? Sometimes talking the boss into stuff like that is all about how you frame it.
I think this is a good next step for me. I'm a Type 5 in this system called the enneagram and my basic fear is being useless, helpless, or incapable. Going to a manager and saying "this is a thing I can't do" just seems like the worst thing in the world. I'm taking baby steps by asking a bunch of internet people (hubski) and yesterday I brought it up with a small church group and asked them to hold me accountable, but I guess talking to management would be a good next step.
I have never heard of the enneagram system, but I suspect I may be a fellow 5. It is very difficult to say no to your manager, with my current one we have a good relationship and I can feel free to say no, sorry, can't right now, or okay then which of the other million priorities am I putting off for this? And I can be sarcastic about it too and we will laugh and most of the time I will probably still do all or part of the request anyway. Although sometimes I suggest an alternate method of getting her request completed and she goes for it. Damn I am gonna miss her when she retires. Anyway, my personal bet is that since you've shown yourself to be an effective employee and good at learning new things in the past, there's a good chance they will see it as a reasonable request.
I like to move to random places where I get accommodations with my job, it shakes things up and I'm not cementing myself anywhere. I've so far not left my country but plenty of people around me are on working holiday visas they impulsively got and moved to a different country. I'm pretty sure there are more subtle adult ways of going about that but I don't think big changes are a bad thing when you're young.