Sarah Hepola drank through her 20s, and didn’t slow down in her 30s – not even when she blacked out or woke up in strangers’ beds. Because the best nights are the ones you might regret, right?
I like alcohol specifically for the effects. I enjoy drinking, and I often have a bit of a hangover on weekend mornings (bad habit, I know). Even at my most inebriated, to the point where I was sick, I've never fully blacked out. I suppose I could have had fragmentary blackouts, although I've never noticed them. I wonder what makes us so different? Yes, I'm a man, but I'm 5'6" and weigh 120lbs dripping wet (I've also always thought I'm a bit of a lightweight). Does body fat percentage count for that much? Maybe there's some sort of genetic factor?
Personally, I only blackout very shortly before becoming violently ill (usually). Anyway, there's a few reasons that women are more impacted by alcohol than are men. 1. men on average have more of the enzyme which breaks down alcohol before it enters the bloodstream (ADH) 2. Women have, on average a higher body fat percentage, which increases the effects of alcohol 3. Women are, at the same time, smaller on average than men, while drinks are a standard size. There's an okay summary of this information here:
http://www.attcnetwork.org/explore/priorityareas/science/tools/asmeDetails.asp?ID=55 if you are interested. Obviously, different people's individual physiological makeup plays an important role. As the author mentions, if you have a tendency to be able to "hold your liqour" you're more likely to experience blackouts. You're also more likely to develop problems with alcohol (I don't have a source for that last bit right now, but if I find it again, I'll post).
Really well written article. Walks the line between the seriousness of the situation and its unavoidable humour really well. Can't handle blackouts myself. I'll spend two days with 'the fear' if I can't remember what I did the night before. I'm not worried that I've been in a fight, or done something incredible stupid or anything, I just can't handle not knowing. I like how she phrases it: 'there was something fundamentally wrong about losing the narrative of my own life.'
I have never had a blackout before but then again I have never felt the need to drink too heavily. Every so often I enjoy a couple of drinks to get a bit of a giddy feeling but never do I want to push myself over the edge. I hate throwing up and I like to remember things. Also I am never in the mood to drink two days in a row. After a couple of drinks one night, I want to stay far away from alcohol the next day because for whatever reason it just doesn't look as appealing as it did the night before.
I'm so glad I've never had this kind of problem (I don't drink). I've never understood what drives people to alcohol. I've heard the usual answers - anxiety, depression, a shitty life; but I've experienced those too, and it's never even crossed my mind to seek solace in inebriation.
I'm a full blown alcoholic. Some days I just wake up and it's like "Fuck it, I feel like shit immediately upon opening my eyes, drinking is all that's going to happen today." And I don't even get hangovers so it's not like I wake up and need some hair of the dog, I just don't care so much that being drunk all day is preferable to being depressed all day. Note that first sentence next time you hear "Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery." Finding out why you drink is a big part of recovery. You don't understand it and neither do a lot of people who do it. For me, it was a lot of just growing up around a father who drank every night, insomnia, boredom, genetics, lack of a close social circle and alcohol just being an easily accessible high. Even knowing all that, I don't know why I keep doing it. I actually just fell off the wagon after being pretty certain I'd never drink again. They say alcoholism is a disease but it's not. Using the model of disease for treatment is effective in helping people so it's a disease instead of a moral failing which is what it was seen as until about a hundred years ago. It's really more of a symptom that you're not alright and I've heard that too from psychiatrists I've seen. It's a disease in that it requires medical help and when people want to play the semantic game without understanding the nuances of why pouring Johnny Walker down your throat is on par with schizophrenia it pisses me off even if I'm willing to concede that it's a disease from some kind of medical philosophy perspective. I kinda lost focus at the end but that doesn't mean what I said isn't true
To each their own. For some people, the effects are fun. In my case, it brings me a great deal of relief from my problems. I've got pure-o ocd, and it definitely helps me to calm down and basically feel how I think a 'normal' person should. All I can really say is, anxiety, depression and life problems all belong only to the person experiencing them. Everybody copes differently, and what helps or appeals to some will do nothing for others.
Have you ever considered a different way to cope with your problems? Like therapy, drugs (the good kind!), meditation, etc. I don't know how old you are but I'm going to guess you're probably still young. What I'm wondering is, is this something you want to do for the rest of your life?
> Like therapy, Yes. No help. > drugs (the good kind!), Yes. On my todo list. Currently between doctors. > meditation, etc. Yes. No luck. > I don't know how old you are but I'm going to guess you're probably still young. Still young is relative. Is 27 around the age range you were thinking? > What I'm wondering is, is this something you want to do for the rest of your life? I appreciate that you're trying to help me, but this feels a little bit condescending from my perspective. You knew nothing about my situation beyond what I posted in this thread, but the wording of your post implies
(to me) that you think that whatever I'm doing, I've been doing it wrong. My options for medication are basically antidepressants and anxiolytics. The most popular anxiolytics aren't any better than alcohol in terms of effects and consequences, and in my mind are somewhat worse.
Antidepressants have low success rates (especially in my situation), unpleasant side effects, and take months to start working. There's no free ride out of my situation. Thank you for your concern though.
I know a person -a lot older than you- who was developing a serious addiction to alcohol (due to depression) and it was painful to watch. She's been seeing a therapist for the past few months and that turned out to be just what she needed, so that's why I asked. Having seen what alcoholism does to a person, both physically and mentally, whenever I hear someone say that he's treating himself with alcohol I can't help but be worried for that person. I hope your doctors can give you a better option.
I'm trying all that stuff right now too. I'm going to see an MD soon and I'll probably be prescribed an antidepressant or something like that. I'm not a "problem drinker" or alcoholic but I do drink way too much, especially for someone who has acute depression. I'd recommend trying out a different therapist if one doesn't work out for you. I don't know if meditation is helping but I've been giving it a serious try. I'd recommend an exercise routine- it has sort of helped me, but any one thing alone is not going to help you crest the hill.