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comment by Grendel
Grendel  ·  1526 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: My drinking years: ‘Everyone has blackouts, don’t they?’

I'm so glad I've never had this kind of problem (I don't drink). I've never understood what drives people to alcohol. I've heard the usual answers - anxiety, depression, a shitty life; but I've experienced those too, and it's never even crossed my mind to seek solace in inebriation.

tacocat  ·  1526 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm a full blown alcoholic. Some days I just wake up and it's like "Fuck it, I feel like shit immediately upon opening my eyes, drinking is all that's going to happen today." And I don't even get hangovers so it's not like I wake up and need some hair of the dog, I just don't care so much that being drunk all day is preferable to being depressed all day. Note that first sentence next time you hear "Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery."

Finding out why you drink is a big part of recovery. You don't understand it and neither do a lot of people who do it. For me, it was a lot of just growing up around a father who drank every night, insomnia, boredom, genetics, lack of a close social circle and alcohol just being an easily accessible high. Even knowing all that, I don't know why I keep doing it. I actually just fell off the wagon after being pretty certain I'd never drink again.

They say alcoholism is a disease but it's not. Using the model of disease for treatment is effective in helping people so it's a disease instead of a moral failing which is what it was seen as until about a hundred years ago. It's really more of a symptom that you're not alright and I've heard that too from psychiatrists I've seen. It's a disease in that it requires medical help and when people want to play the semantic game without understanding the nuances of why pouring Johnny Walker down your throat is on par with schizophrenia it pisses me off even if I'm willing to concede that it's a disease from some kind of medical philosophy perspective.

I kinda lost focus at the end but that doesn't mean what I said isn't true

Dendrophobe  ·  1526 days ago  ·  link  ·  

To each their own. For some people, the effects are fun. In my case, it brings me a great deal of relief from my problems. I've got pure-o ocd, and it definitely helps me to calm down and basically feel how I think a 'normal' person should. All I can really say is, anxiety, depression and life problems all belong only to the person experiencing them. Everybody copes differently, and what helps or appeals to some will do nothing for others.

Grendel  ·  1526 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Have you ever considered a different way to cope with your problems? Like therapy, drugs (the good kind!), meditation, etc. I don't know how old you are but I'm going to guess you're probably still young. What I'm wondering is, is this something you want to do for the rest of your life?

Dendrophobe  ·  1526 days ago  ·  link  ·  

> Like therapy,

Yes. No help.

> drugs (the good kind!),

Yes. On my todo list. Currently between doctors.

> meditation, etc.

Yes. No luck.

> I don't know how old you are but I'm going to guess you're probably still young.

Still young is relative. Is 27 around the age range you were thinking?

> What I'm wondering is, is this something you want to do for the rest of your life?

I appreciate that you're trying to help me, but this feels a little bit condescending from my perspective. You knew nothing about my situation beyond what I posted in this thread, but the wording of your post implies (to me) that you think that whatever I'm doing, I've been doing it wrong.

My options for medication are basically antidepressants and anxiolytics. The most popular anxiolytics aren't any better than alcohol in terms of effects and consequences, and in my mind are somewhat worse. Antidepressants have low success rates (especially in my situation), unpleasant side effects, and take months to start working. There's no free ride out of my situation.

Thank you for your concern though.

Grendel  ·  1525 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I know a person -a lot older than you- who was developing a serious addiction to alcohol (due to depression) and it was painful to watch. She's been seeing a therapist for the past few months and that turned out to be just what she needed, so that's why I asked. Having seen what alcoholism does to a person, both physically and mentally, whenever I hear someone say that he's treating himself with alcohol I can't help but be worried for that person. I hope your doctors can give you a better option.

nothingleftinside  ·  1525 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm trying all that stuff right now too. I'm going to see an MD soon and I'll probably be prescribed an antidepressant or something like that. I'm not a "problem drinker" or alcoholic but I do drink way too much, especially for someone who has acute depression. I'd recommend trying out a different therapist if one doesn't work out for you. I don't know if meditation is helping but I've been giving it a serious try. I'd recommend an exercise routine- it has sort of helped me, but any one thing alone is not going to help you crest the hill.

firethief  ·  1524 days ago  ·  link  ·  

> drugs (the good kind!)

I don't think weed would help here; this sounds like a situation for the heavier stuff doctors specialize in.