I think kids are way more in tune with these feelings than we give them credit for. Of course, they don't have the capacity yet to deal with them, but it doesn't mean they don't exist. For me though, the interesting part of this story is the description of the environment that he is growing up in - and I'm wondering - What part of that can we factor into his coming out? His exposure to gay couples in life and on tv has in some ways given a definition to the word 'gay' and made it something. It made it a thing you could be. Now, I'm am not suggesting that gayness produces more gayness. I just think it's interesting that when we produce an environment where it is ok to be or do something then suddenly we get more people being and doing those things. We call that culture I think.
helpfull article! and the topic is quite controversial.
That said, at 7yo, IMO it's a possibility that the kid might find that he like girls or maybe even both boys and girls as he gets older. It's hard to remember what it is to be a 7yo, but I recall that ideas were pretty open-ended and whimsical.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v...
(the profound effect that opera had on my tendency towards anthropomorphism is a whole 'nuther matter)
And of the two Swiss sisters who babysat me at the age of 4, I had a definite preference for the younger, hotter one, despite the fact that her games weren't as fun. At the age of 6, there was a little girl who definitely had a crush on me and it wasn't at all yucky. She was way too overt about it, though, and brought down the wrath of the playground upon us (and destroyed my ant farm, dammit). She moved away by 3rd grade, only to come back sophomore year in High School. I came over to study once, walked upstairs and saw her mom naked, then spent the evening watching Handmaid's Tale under a blanket and studiously not sleeping with her because, dammit, she was still too needy - for whatever reason, I just wasn't attracted to her. What kind of weird teenage boy passes up sex on a Wednesday? One of my friends later slept with both of them at once. Mother and daughter moved to Florida and contracted Lyme Disease, last I checked.
A male friend made a pass at me in 6th grade; we had a mutual friend who had invited him to go to his parents' cabin and the two of them had had sex in the hot tub. The idea seemed really pretty revolting to me but I wasn't mortally offended like I should be so I kinda wondered if maybe getting over the revulsion was just something you did eventually (never mind the fact that the bra strap of the girl who sat in front of me was the majority of my attention that year). He's happily married with four kids now.
I started to internalize just how straight I was when, at 16, I looked over at my best friend's ass in jeans and found myself thinking "his ass would look great on a girl." Then at 17 I got a great deal on a bright yellow ZX-1000 Ninja with Yoshimura pipes and a 230mph speedo. Simply sitting on the stupid thing made me feel so masculine that I decided the whole dilemma was bloody ridiculous. I blared The Cure and pranced around like a little girl. So much of our identification of "gender" and "masculinity" is external and peer-driven.
My sexuality has been atomic-clock constant since my first boner. I have a cousin, on the other hand, that would rediscover her lesbian tendencies every two years like clockwork. She finally married the most effeminate man I've ever met and they have two lovely children. Some people figure it out early. Some people never do. So long as we're all happy, what does it matter?
It's an odd thing how much some sort of chase plays into attraction. There have been two girls in my life that I had no good reason not to date, but for the fact that they were obviously interested in it from the beginning. I guess it's the equivalent of that safe guy friend that so many girls have. He's hopelessly into her, she knows it, and that's where it stays. I've been that guy, btw. So very lame.
So long as we're all happy, what does it matter?
I've long wondered at people that get hung up on other's sexual preferences. It seems such an odd place to push your personal opinions. One can't help wonder about the inner struggles of people that have strong opinions on the matter. Why else would you care?
I suspect his mother knows him fairly well, having produced him from her loins and raised him his entire life and all. Of course, she could be doing him serious psychological harm by accepting his self-identification and loving him anyway. I mean, he might grow up knowing he was nurtured by open-minded parents... risky!
I suspect that the mother is an attention seeker. Look at me. Look how understanding and open-minded I am. My 7 year old tells me that he is gay and I accept and love him for it.
I suspected that she made it more dramatic than what it is to grab attention and views and I stand by that.
Snark aside, you do make a reasonable point about using one's children as blog source material, but this parent hardly invented the "mommyblogging" phenomenon. I do think there is value at this time in being willing to publicly put forth the idea of not challenging a child's self-identification at such an early age. If he grows up straight, there's a cute story about his "gay phase" to tell his prom date. If he grows up gay, he's spared the agonizing over how to come out to his parents -- thanks, seven-year-old self! If this essay inspires other parents to say "Okay, dear," instead of, "No, you're not old enough to understand that, don't say that," I think it's worthwhile. Telling a child not to identify in a particular way sends the message that to do so would be bad and warrant a parent's disapproval.
My best friend knew he was gay at 10, but his mother suspected since his toddlerhood and never said anything. When he finally came out to her at 16, after months of soul-wrenching thought about whether or not to tell her, she said, "Oh, I knew," and he was relieved, but also really upset that she hadn't openly discussed it with him before even so far as to say, "I'd be fine with it if you were gay." She thought that living in an open and accepting household in general already sent that message, but to a kid dealing with figuring out his own identity as an adolescent, there was a big difference between "My parents are okay with gays" and "My parents wouldn't mind if I were gay."