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comment by lessismore
lessismore  ·  4667 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: When your seven-year-old son announces, "I'm gay."
I am not certain her son even knows what being "gay" means.




Saydrah  ·  4667 days ago  ·  link  ·  
Why would you be certain about anything involving a child you haven't met? :)

I suspect his mother knows him fairly well, having produced him from her loins and raised him his entire life and all. Of course, she could be doing him serious psychological harm by accepting his self-identification and loving him anyway. I mean, he might grow up knowing he was nurtured by open-minded parents... risky!

lessismore  ·  4667 days ago  ·  link  ·  
I did not make claims of certainty about the child.

I suspect that the mother is an attention seeker. Look at me. Look how understanding and open-minded I am. My 7 year old tells me that he is gay and I accept and love him for it.

Saydrah  ·  4667 days ago  ·  link  ·  
It seems you're making a lot of judgments about someone you don't know. There are probably better ways to spend your time if you want to judge parenting choices. You could start with this woman: http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/why-i-rejected-plan-b-after...
lessismore  ·  4667 days ago  ·  link  ·  
I did not judge her parenting choices. I never once said that she should have done this or done that. As a parent myself, I know what a challenge it is to raise a child. I encourage people I know and respect to give their opinions and share their parenting experiences with the wife and me and then we make what we believe to be the best decisions in raising him.

I suspected that she made it more dramatic than what it is to grab attention and views and I stand by that.

lessismore  ·  4667 days ago  ·  link  ·  
Apologies if the "wh*" word offended you. I've edited it.
Saydrah  ·  4667 days ago  ·  link  ·  
I've redacted my criticism -- thank you for editing.

Snark aside, you do make a reasonable point about using one's children as blog source material, but this parent hardly invented the "mommyblogging" phenomenon. I do think there is value at this time in being willing to publicly put forth the idea of not challenging a child's self-identification at such an early age. If he grows up straight, there's a cute story about his "gay phase" to tell his prom date. If he grows up gay, he's spared the agonizing over how to come out to his parents -- thanks, seven-year-old self! If this essay inspires other parents to say "Okay, dear," instead of, "No, you're not old enough to understand that, don't say that," I think it's worthwhile. Telling a child not to identify in a particular way sends the message that to do so would be bad and warrant a parent's disapproval.

My best friend knew he was gay at 10, but his mother suspected since his toddlerhood and never said anything. When he finally came out to her at 16, after months of soul-wrenching thought about whether or not to tell her, she said, "Oh, I knew," and he was relieved, but also really upset that she hadn't openly discussed it with him before even so far as to say, "I'd be fine with it if you were gay." She thought that living in an open and accepting household in general already sent that message, but to a kid dealing with figuring out his own identity as an adolescent, there was a big difference between "My parents are okay with gays" and "My parents wouldn't mind if I were gay."

lessismore  ·  4667 days ago  ·  link  ·  
I have a very close friend tell me recently she suspects that her 8 years old son is "gay" based on his mannerisms. We had a discussion about it and I offered her my experiences growing up. She decided that perhaps she is reading too much into it after consulting with other close friends. She isn't going to make a big deal about it and just support him and let him grow up the way he wants to grow and be there with him every step of the way, wherever that may lead. And as parents, that is all we can do.