I took a bunch of Tae Kwon Do as a kid. My master was a middle weight kickboxing champ for some of the time I was under his instructions.

Teacher was great, taught a ton of non-martial arts lessons about life. Big emphasis on respecting others and protecting (verbally, spiritually, physically) people who couldn't protect themselves. Persevering in the face of adversity. Observing the environment around you. Listening to others. How to take a fall without breaking your ass. Taught lots of dirty fighting techniques because karate isn't all that useful compared to jerking a guys balls as hard as you can if you are on the ground. Taught kids what to do if someone tries to abduct them. Really the guy was great and taught a million little things about life.

I ended up being the sparring partner for a junior Olympian kick boxer for a few years, it was horrible. Pretty much me getting beaten up three days a week, I wouldn't do that part again. I was never all that great at martial arts. I got slow ass hands that really aren't worth much in punching situation. I had pretty heavy kicks and a decent defense but when anyone pushed past that I was a goner.

I can break pretty much any untrained hold with a quick move and a shift of weight, I guess that has been useful here and there. The formal art wasn't of any big use but stuff like getting out of holds and dirty fighting have been useful.

My master always said that if you want to win a fight go into it with surprise and a weapon and leave the fancy stuff at home. Every time I got my ass whipped it was because I didn't know it was coming so I guess he was a pretty wise guy.

I took Tae Kwon Do as a kid. I got a red belt with two stripes, but stopped going when my dad couldn't drive me for a few months. Not too long ago, I was hanging out with a friend who had taken classes with me and had earned a black belt. We were talking about stuff since we'd seen each other, a little over ten years ago and it turns out we'd both been in situations where we'd had the shit beaten out of us.

I asked him if any of the stuff he'd learned came to mind. His answer? "Nope." Granted, it had been a long time for both of us, but we used to go to tournaments and all that nonsense.

Most martial arts classes in America are for competition. It's treated as a sport and you're taught to pull punches. Martial arts generally teach practitioners how to react to certain situations such that reactions to certain circumstances might be good, but in a live fight would ultimately be useless. There are still people that practice real martial arts, but honestly the point of effective martial arts is not for defense in the sense that it can be used defensively. It's for hurting someone until they can't pose a threat, which realistically means crippling or killing an aggressor in as little time as possible.

I hear mixed things about Krav Maga, but I have no real experience with it. In the Philippines people practice arnis de mano or eskrima. Most people know it as stick fighting, but really it's about using whatever is on hand. It takes a whole lot to take a person down, a shocking amount and the best way to do that is with an implement, be it a stick or whatever you can find. This is something an aggressor will know and will probably be doing.

Tae Kwon Do seems to be the status quo. Nothing to add that humanodon and cgod didn't already develop.

More worth noting: in high school my friend and I also took a summer's worth of Kung Fu from a man who may have been a legitimate practitioner or may have been just some nutter who lived in a van and thought he had vaguely telekinetic powers. We practiced under "Sifu Jerry" in the middle of a community tennis court. The parking lot nearby when people were tennising.

PRO-PRACTITIONER THEORY: he seemed to know the requisite stances and enforced good form with a military discipline. The forms he taught us had official-sounding names, and they remained static every time he taught them. He didn't hold any romantic views about Kung Fu per se (except for everything below)- he maintained that at a basic level, it was near useless as a self-defense mechanism and was more a style of dance than anything else, better for habituating self-control than control over others. He was also extremely gentle and very patient. I don't know why this is a point in favor of him being legit.

ANTI-PRACTITIONER THEORY: he spoke of his master with this breathless, fever-eyed reverence, and constantly related stories in which, for instance, sifu would point his finger at a glass table top a foot away and shatter the table top with the power of his chi. He would also at times insist that, though we couldn't feel it, when he maintained horse stance like this and held his hands just so, he could channel his energy in our direction and strengthen our physical resolve. Still can't feel it? What about now?

Also, he was in retrospect the spitting image of Dan Dority from Deadwood. Again, not sure how this subtracts from his ethos but it definitely gave me pause.

I guess what I'm saying is don't bother with Kung Fu because any version not like thousands of years old from a pedigreed master is probably glorified dance softened up for soccer moms and pony-tailed hippies. Humanodon mentioned Krav Maga- wanted to try that for a while, as I've heard it's more utilitarian. I also have a friend who does Aikido, which is apparently a really good mix of philosophy vs. practicality.

Practicing western boxing is fun. And you can do a lot without a couch or gym. Plus it rocks your shoulders, back and arms.

Wraps, a stand-alone heavy bag, and some gloves and a timer are what I use. There are lots of good stuff on the youtube to learn about the four basic punches, stance, etc.

It doesn't develop legs, though. I do some other stuff for legs like jump rope, squats, lunges et cetera.

If you really want to spar get to a coach and get the rest of the safety gear.

AND VISIT YO DOC FIRST

Krav Maga, and before anyone groans let me explain. It's simple, it's not fantastical or requiring of peak physical condition, and it applies modern understandings of anatomy. It's about aggression and situational awareness, knowing when it's best to walk away and when it's best to attack first. Those are the scenarios in Krav, there really isn't a "duck first by design" aspect to it. It's also not about looking "Swayze-esque" in a bar fight. It's serious shit, with a good instructor you are talking about learning to inflict maximum damage, including permanent injury or death. It won't make you a badass, or a boxer, but it might give you the reflex muscle memory to save your life someday, which is why I'm guessing the IDF and Israeli SF teaches it. I took TKD as a kid and after I got back from the war I needed something... violent. Found an awesome Krav instructor in Virginia where I was living at the time. Took classes for about a year, I'd reccomend it. It might seem intimidating but... do you want your hand held by a people person or do you want to learn something useful from (likely) some Jar-Head with actual real world experience in applying these techniques on a human being?

I have taken Tae Kwon Do, MMA, and Wing Chun. I would not recommend TKD for great self defense. Wing Chun potentially if you can find somewhere that actually allows you to apply it. A lot of places don't spar and focus merely on the art. MMA is what I'd recommend for the quickest, most effective thing to learn for self defense. That or Jeet Kune Do.