As I have never encountered death of someone even remotely close to me, I wouldn't know how I would react to such an event. But in any case, I think I would read and re-read this passage to myself and share it to those touched by the tragedy :

Epicurus - Letter to Menoeceus (http://classics.mit.edu/Epicurus/menoec.html)

"Accustom yourself to believe that death is nothing to us, for good and evil imply awareness, and death is the privation of all awareness; therefore a right understanding that death is nothing to us makes the mortality of life enjoyable, not by adding to life an unlimited time, but by taking away the yearning after immortality. For life has no terror; for those who thoroughly apprehend that there are no terrors for them in ceasing to live. Foolish, therefore, is the person who says that he fears death, not because it will pain when it comes, but because it pains in the prospect. Whatever causes no annoyance when it is present, causes only a groundless pain in the expectation.

Death, therefore, the most awful of evils, is nothing to us, seeing that, when we are, death is not come, and, when death is come, we are not. It is nothing, then, either to the living or to the dead, for with the living it is not and the dead exist no longer. But in the world, at one time people shun death as the greatest of all evils, and at another time choose it as a respite from the evils in life. The wise person does not deprecate life nor does he fear the cessation of life. The thought of life is no offense to him, nor is the cessation of life regarded as an evil. And even as people choose of food not merely and simply the larger portion, but the more pleasant, so the wise seek to enjoy the time which is most pleasant and not merely that which is longest."

About the implication of death (leaving the mother with the little one), it's just really, really hard.

If you plan on recording other stories, I would like to see if you can implement a transcript. As a non-native english speaker, it would let me check if I understand everything correctly.

Clearly the event made you feel sad for all concerned and for yourself. You thought about the family's feelings of loss and fear and change, but didn't know what to say.

In the situation described (if I understand it correctly) you were at a loss for words to your teacher who told you about the other student's father. It's hard to know what to say - your teacher was likely saddened by this and worried for the family. When you feel numb and speechless by the news, try to recognize the speaker's feelings and say something like "you must be worried for the family" or "this will be devastating for the family" or "if there will be a memorial please let me know and I will go or we can go together."

Or even describe your own experience of the news -- when you told me about his father's death, I felt sad at how loved ones can be here one day and gone the next. I worried about him and his mother. This is possible because you seemed to be in touch with your own experience. But it takes practice.

Your mother's arrival with the teapot was purely coincidental, but a lucky graceful coincidence that gives the teapot a special meaning.

In your own family - you mentioned your grandfather - you said that you didn't cry and didn't know if your reaction was "normal" -

I'd like to think that everyone deals with loss in their own way. First through stillness or numbness and then, as we learn more how to be with ourselves in the world, we find words that we hope will comfort. One thing I've found comforting in some small way is sharing a tender memory of the loved one with those grieving.

Showing up and being there is important and appreciated - even if you have no words.

You have an easy-to-listen-to voice. Give your stories more shape - a beginning, middle, and end. What makes it possible to listen to this story is that it seems to come from a true and authentic place. Storytelling is an art form and you could be very good at it.

This is great. It's like an answering machine message from a friend who's had an experience and they need to talk to someone about it.

I don't know how much NPR you listen to, but Snap Judgement's Glynn Washington, and Prairie home Companion's Garrison Keillor (as well as Q's Jian Ghomeshi [Canada Proud!]) are great people to listen to when it comes to delivering a story.

I'd also suggest writing down just a basic narrative structure down. Nothing restricitng, just something to help you organize your thoughts and eliminate the ums and Ahs. A lot of what you're doing here reminds me (in a good way) of Ze Frank's A Show.

I think the very existence of this recording shows that you do not have an inability to react to death. There are no rules on how outwardly sad you should be towards the death of a loved one. You say that at your Grandfather's funeral all those around you were crying whilst you were not. This means nothing in regards to your respect and love toward him. People handle grief in different ways. Some weep for the their loss, some may feel angry, others become philosophical. To try and construct a music analogy for you: does the technique of an instrumentalist's playing really matter if the resulting music is just as beautiful?

In regards to hearing of the student's father passing, many might've just given off a canned response. They might not have given it much weight in their mind, or considered the implications. In your case, it triggered a plethora of though processes and emotions which ultimately led to this. It seems like you're quite conscientious and thoughtful and in getting carried away or lost in those thoughts you're forgetting that they in themselves are the reactions.

Of course, when many people have problems reacting verbally when they hear of such news. We fear that whatever we come off may sound trite or cliche to the point of seeming uncaring and disingenuous. I think the best we can do here is not try to hard to think of what the best thing to say is, what you think the other person should here, but evaluate how you're feeling and communicate that back in an empathetic manner. lil's examples demonstrated this approach quite well, I think.

I also echo other's sentiments towards your recording, you have an easy to listen to voice and a nice style. Thanks for sharing.

thenewgreen has some words about dealing with funerals here.