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comment by lil
lil  ·  3608 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: I recorded myself telling a story

Clearly the event made you feel sad for all concerned and for yourself. You thought about the family's feelings of loss and fear and change, but didn't know what to say.

In the situation described (if I understand it correctly) you were at a loss for words to your teacher who told you about the other student's father. It's hard to know what to say - your teacher was likely saddened by this and worried for the family. When you feel numb and speechless by the news, try to recognize the speaker's feelings and say something like "you must be worried for the family" or "this will be devastating for the family" or "if there will be a memorial please let me know and I will go or we can go together."

Or even describe your own experience of the news -- when you told me about his father's death, I felt sad at how loved ones can be here one day and gone the next. I worried about him and his mother. This is possible because you seemed to be in touch with your own experience. But it takes practice.

Your mother's arrival with the teapot was purely coincidental, but a lucky graceful coincidence that gives the teapot a special meaning.

In your own family - you mentioned your grandfather - you said that you didn't cry and didn't know if your reaction was "normal" -

I'd like to think that everyone deals with loss in their own way. First through stillness or numbness and then, as we learn more how to be with ourselves in the world, we find words that we hope will comfort. One thing I've found comforting in some small way is sharing a tender memory of the loved one with those grieving.

Showing up and being there is important and appreciated - even if you have no words.

You have an easy-to-listen-to voice. Give your stories more shape - a beginning, middle, and end. What makes it possible to listen to this story is that it seems to come from a true and authentic place. Storytelling is an art form and you could be very good at it.





nowaypablo  ·  3608 days ago  ·  link  ·  

lil I really appreciate all that you said, I'm taking it all to heart. Of course the teapot was a coincidence, I'm not a spiritual guy but its always funny when something symbolic like that happens-- of course my mother was ranting about the circle of life (hence samsara) and God and so on.

In regards to my reaction/s, I suppose it simply is my way of dealing with it. That is certainly a consolation.

And yes, I'll give it a bit of form next time if I decide to record another. Thanks again friend