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comment by mk
mk  ·  4003 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Editable Poem #2: What Did We Learn?

I didn't see any of that, only the responses to it. There are lonely damaged people out there. If I stumbled upon it, I'd try to keep what little I could as evidence of it.





coffeesp00ns  ·  4003 days ago  ·  link  ·  

well, it ended up referencing the poem in a really great way.

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  Under the words that were omitted
  lie the noise, work, and death
  Missing workers walk slowly,
  stop to take each breath.

  Under the words that were deleted
  I sit here with the few
  Trying not be defeated
  I move an inch closer to you. 

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lil  ·  4003 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I didn't want any evidence of it. We moved on. After it was deleted, aside from constant changes, everyone seemed aimed at the mutual good. At least, I'll choose to believe it that way.

It's interesting to see how the words or ideas that we might be fond of mean nothing to others. I think the new green warned everyone not to get attached.

But you are right about the lonely damaged people.

In the end, we moved an inch closer to one another. Maybe.

humanodon  ·  4003 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I quoted what I saw, but removed it when requested. More than anything it seemed like the person was upset that part or all of their initial contribution was altered or removed, which seems odd, given the exercise.

_refugee_  ·  4003 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I didn't see any of what caused the hubbub, really. I think I was off on a date or at a bar or something. I came back late that night and all was in an uproar but whatever nastiness was present had been replaced.

humanodon  ·  4003 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Basically it was someone claiming the space as theirs and theirs alone because their contribution was deleted and a ended with a little antisemitism. It seemed to be the same person that was really dedicated to those end rhymes.

_refugee_  ·  4003 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I admit I'm responsible for two stanzas with alternating end rhymes which ultimately were kept, the weathervane and Roethke stanzas - which have been edited since, but the rhymes have been preserved. I think people saw the trend and kept it going. It's really the last stanza that it goes overboard for me.

Also, geez, talk about someone who couldn't handle the prompt of an editable poem, it sounds like. The whole point is not to get attached to whatever you throw out into the waves. If you like it copy it and keep it.

humanodon  ·  4003 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I think that a little rhyme is fine, but that it's actually very difficult to pull off a good rhyme scheme without sounding hackneyed. Same with meter, if it's too regular.

Rhyme is more like a fill or a grace note to me.

_refugee_  ·  4003 days ago  ·  link  ·  

When I see it done successfully, the lines are rarely endstopped (rhyme, I mean). I find that end-stopped rhyming lines usually beat one over the head.