Before I begin, let me say that I am a very, very lucky person. By most measure, Comparatively speaking, I have no right to complain. Everyone is going through something right now. Some more than others. I really am lucky. My family is healthy and safe.
But I’m finally feeling the effects of all of this, mentally. It feels like I’m in mourning.
I take a tremendous amount of joy from people. From in person conversations with people. From debating with people. Traveling, dining out with friends. A simple beer with a colleague. I miss these things so much. I’m lonely.
I’m sure I’m late to all of these emotions. But they’re just now hitting me. I bet we have another 6 months to a year of all of this. At a minimum.
I should mention that we moved in all of this to another state. Got here and have a rental house. We just bought a new home and will be moving in to it soon.
Just too much change. Change in the world, change in our family, change in schooling, change in my company, change in homes etc. just way too much all at once.
I played tennis today. It made me feel good. I’m training to play wasoxygen.
What are you all doing to stay sane? What’s helping you? Any hacks you’ve learned to feel connected to others?
Onward!
I remember the one time we played tennis. That was great! Have an awesome match.
Oof. Man... I'm really feeling it now, too. Yesterday after work, I did some heavy work in the yard on the new retaining wall and patio I am building. Got good and sweaty. And then sat in my back yard for probably 5 hours, getting good and drunk, alternating between listening to Motorhead loud in my headphones and binging dumb hot-rod building shows on Netflix. Today I feel better than I have in weeks. At some point, I have to stop worrying about the world, and just let it go. About two months ago it was a handful of psychedelic mushrooms that gave my brain a break. Last night it was whisky. And I'm ok with that... once a month, or so. Any more than that and I'm gonna start worrying about whether it is becoming a crutch rather than a tool... but I'm pretty far from that right now. Let's see how long this escape from World Exhaustion lasts this time...
We're no colleagues, but what about a zoom hubski pandemic happy hour meetup? I do video meetups with my friends because we're states away post-college. Of course it's not the same but it's a decent alternative. My parents do a Friday virtual happy hour with their friends every week. Personally I'm partial to Jitsi because it's more privacy focused and you don't need an account to video chat. But I'd be totally down to do such shenanigans with you all.A simple beer with a colleague... I'm lonely
I think that would be a lot of fun, but at the same time I feel akin to what steve said below re "virtual" meet ups. I'm on a ton of zoom calls. I have one in 10 minutes and another starting 30 minutes after that. My therapist challenged me to pay attention to when my anxiety subsides and when I feel good. It's without question during and after I play tennis. I feel very good for the rest of the day. I am going to try and play twice a week moving forward. I am with the family for the holiday weekend, but I'd be down for a #Hubskidrinkclub happy hour meet up after the holiday weekend. It's a good idea, c_h. Onward!
I'm spending too much money on a trainer right now who has a setup in his garage and driveway. It's money very well spent. Get your heart rate up to 140bpm for an hour, build some muscle, and get all your energy out (and I go with my good friend, so it's like hanging out, too). It's not as good as tennis, but it's made this spring and summer 1000x more enjoyable. I would play tennis a lot more, but my main partner lives 35 minutes away, and his schedule isn't flexible. So we're always trying to squeeze into the narrow window of after the kids are in bed but before sundown...that works ok in June but is pretty shitty in September.
I feel for you, man. On top of all of what we had to do this spring, you've added a new home and relocation. Bilbo put it well, I think: It's weird, after staring at you on a screen for 6 hours every day, these last weeks we only do it for 2 hours or so. The things that have helped me the most in these last few weeks have been trips to Lake Michigan, the woods, painting, and an old school Monet puzzle. Also, some beer.
Yeah, I picked an awful month to quit drinking. I’m glad that’s over with. Most of the anxiety I feel arose out of that sobriety, I think. Alcohol is a hell of a coping mechanism. I was drinking way too much though. Almost daily. Now, I only allow it on th, fr, sat. It’s good to take breaks. I’ve started lifting weights a bit and I’m trying to be more aware of my diet. Nothing etched in stone, no hard rules, just questioning “why,” I’m eating. Am I actually hungry? Am I bored? Am I filling a hole? Is it just habit? Lots of self reflection right now. The spring was insane. I’m glad I had a wingman. I couldn’t have imagined doing that alone. Thx!
I've tried to reconnect to my inner self and voice, honoring things in me all of the noise has often drowned out. Creativity helps me personally, attempting to cultivate all of the malaise and sorrow regarding the state of things. Sometimes when it feels like it's too much, I take a deep breath and let go. The world and people in it will collectively decide what our future is, and I'm but a cog in a giant machine. I think to myself, life is a beautiful, painful, but ultimately transient experience that will have its own path. Downsizing junk, cleaning, creative pursuits, reading, watching old films, practicing compassion for the many, many broken people in the world attemtping to survive, whether they're on top or bottom of the totem. Trying to practice small moments of active gratitude for the little things generally helps elevate my mood, even when I feel things are really bad.
I feel a similar twinge of guilt - by all accounts, I have it SO GOOD. But yes... the struggle is SO REAL. I get so burned out on zoom calls and other calls that the idea of picking up my phone to call you or another friend feels like another meeting. I'm right here with you my friend. We'll make it.
I feel that way too sometimes. I think it's a rather big ask for anyone to simply pause life except for social media. I feel bad for those who have it worse than I do. I think the key is finding healthy outlets for the needs you feel. I've rediscovered reading, and I'm trying to learn Korean because Kpop and kdramas are interesting. But you do you, which is the point. You need something to keep you grounded. 바이딩!
A small cadre of families that all take extreme care with their quarantine measures honestly. Between my household and two of my friends households we have a tight little ship running. Early days of quarantine I was the one doing Costco runs and kept two households in flour and bulk goods for quite a while before the supply chain re-normalized. Having the ability to socialize unmasked with people is a luxury that we all appreciate when we dare to do it.
That’s really smart. That would be nice. We have kids and that sort of changes everything.