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comment by galen
galen  ·  3766 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Who are you, Hubski?

I'm galen. That's nowhere near my actual name, though - it comes from the name of a character I discovered somewhere in the recesses of my consciousness a couple months ago. He shows up whenever I put one of these on:

And he's relatively lovable, but annoying as shit. Talks way too much. I think he might just be an exaggerated version of me (I at least like to believe I'm fairly lovable). Anyway, I don't really know why, but when I signed up for Hubski I decided to use his name. But don't worry, he can't type. Yet.

I'm 15, and I live in a rich-as-fuck suburb of a mid-sized city. I hate where I live because it's got all the pretense and general fakery of a city, but without the quirky little shops or proximity to interesting things. I can't wait to live right in the middle of a city, which I hope to do during college. Speaking of college, I'll be going (God willing*) in fall of next year (I skipped 3rd and 8th grade).

Academically, I'm interested in journalism, philosophy and linguistics, but I hope to have a career in journalism. No, I don't speak any other languages (yet). Non-academically, I do theatre (#thespianlyfe), play drums and listen to music way too much. Hopefully soon I'll learn bass, and then I can be my own rhythm section.

I have a girlfriend, sort of. I don't know. It's really complicated. That's all I'll say for now.

I worry about not getting around to making my life meaningful before I die. I'm not so much scared of death as a too-short life. So I strive to make every day as awesome as possible. I've been here (on Hubski) for 17 days now, and I am already deeply in love with the community here.

*I'm agnostic, but I like this phrase. Don't ask why, because I don't know.





nowaypablo  ·  3766 days ago  ·  link  ·  

This is the funniest thing on Hubski, thank you. I'm laughing so hard.

I love you galen, you're like a super-teen. Like Captain Underpants coming out of puberty.

I feel like you've been here for ages by the way, but yeah, welcome. Also I couldn't handle a career in journalism so props, although I'm also super interested in philosophy. Which reminds me, the #philosophy tag has been largely untouched for a while, maybe you and I owe it a comeback.

Don't learn French.

ButterflyEffect  ·  3766 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Don't learn French.

Unfollows

nowaypablo  ·  3764 days ago  ·  link  ·  

'twas a trauma for me, but it might just be my teacher. Hitler is literally my French teacher.

_refugee_  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

excusez-moi monsieur le francais est la langue supreme.

nowaypablo  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

mais nooon, il est vraiment pour les chattes.

_refugee_  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Les chats, hombre

nowaypablo  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Hah, im not talking about cats.

_refugee_  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I assume you are not talking about the ancient germanic people either.

I am guessing you mean either the band, or

    Chatte, mot vulgaire désignant la vulve
nowaypablo  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Pas la vulve mais cette région en général. Bien fait, ref, bien fait.

galen  ·  3766 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Like Captain Underpants coming out of puberty.

Jesus Christ, I'm dying. This is the best compliment I've ever been given.

I feel like I've been here for ages too. It's amazing how much longer it feels like just because of the heightened quality of discourse. By the way, I'm coming through New York on a college visit in a month or so - what are the chances we could get a mini-meetup happening?

nowaypablo  ·  3764 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The chances are high, make a post maybe with details to get other people in on it, I'm here so I'm down!

_refugee_  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

YUSSSSSSSS NEW YORK MEET UP lil

lil  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

ref - can you get to NYC? I'll give you some dates -- but I don't know if I can keep up with a couple of super-smart 15-16 year olds. Whatever would we talk about??? and bars obviously are out unless we make them look older?

Maybe we can all dress up as Groucho and wander Central Park looking for one another.

_refugee_  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Until Aug 15 my travel has to be limited to weekends and I mean "really weekends only" at that - I am in VA for work Mon- Friday.. I could take the train to NYC and then be completely lost after that point. But after Aug 15 I should be more free.

I love your idea though.

lil  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

the 18th or 19 afternoon-eve would be great!!

Note to self: find nose and glasses, soon!

galen  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I think that's around when my trip is! Maybe!

See also

nowaypablo  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Maybe we can all dress up as Groucho and wander Central Park looking for one another.

Knowing NYC, there's a good chance there will be like three other groups of people doing the exact same thing. I'm down.

Bars and clubs from midtown to the World Trade Center don't card anyone if they're business dressed, so I will put on my finest suit to accompany the Groucho mask.

galen  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

UPDATE: Can't do it, my mom's being paranoid: she thinks you're all creepy middle-aged men that have made fake profiles for the purpose of ??? Sorry it won't work out, but you, _refugee_ and lil should totally still meetup.

Maybe if I end up going to college up there we can hang out sometime after I'm free from my parents.

nowaypablo  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yeah, sorry galen, but I actually made this account 300 days ago in anticipation that you'd join so I could procure your butthole. Would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for your meddling mom.

galen  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I have a confession too - I'm actually 8. I made this account because I don't have any friends but TV tells me older people are cool. That's why my mom's so protective.

nowaypablo  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yeah, sorry galen, but I'm actually your mom.

galen  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  
This comment has been deleted.
nowaypablo  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  
This comment has been deleted.
nowaypablo  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Well. This got dark.

galen  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  
This comment has been deleted.
_refugee_  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I pretty much just want your butthole.

lil  ·  3760 days ago  ·  link  ·  

galen, I actually am a mom and probably much older than your mom. OK, no groucho glasses and nose for you!! --

Note: Introduce your mom to hubski -- have her read eightbitsamurai's story -- it makes hubskina seem almost religious (but first delete the darker parts of this thread). Show her nowaypablo's piano concert.

galen  ·  3760 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    OK, no groucho glasses and nose for you!!

I'll just wear them for Monday's IRC meetup 8^)

    Note: Introduce your mom to hubski -- have her read eightbitsamurai's story -- it makes hubskina seem almost religious (but first delete the darker parts of this thread). Show her nowaypablo's piano concert.

Thanks for this advice, lil. I showed her Hubski, told her about some of the users, and played her pablo's solo recital. She's a lot more comfortable with the site now, even though it didn't change her mind about the meetup. Next step - get her to read eightbit's story.

nowaypablo  ·  3760 days ago  ·  link  ·  

What solo recital?!

galen  ·  3760 days ago  ·  link  ·  

nowaypablo  ·  3760 days ago  ·  link  ·  

THAT"S ME LIKE SIX YEARS AGO. JESUS CHRIST.

e- imma get back to you about my old gf dont worry, and I'm sorry to hear about the breakup. Hang tight brother.

galen  ·  3760 days ago  ·  link  ·  

But it's still good! And it was the most recent one I could find.

galen  ·  3764 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Awesome, my mom just left for a conference, but I'll talk to her about the details when she gets back in about a week.

_refugee_  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I have a girlfriend, sort of. I don't know. It's really complicated. That's all I'll say for now.

It's been four days, will you say more now? :)

(I'm nosy. Don't worry and don't feel the need to.)

galen  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

All right, but only cuz I like your poetry :)

Things you'll need to know before you can understand this story:

1. As I've mentioned elsewhere on the site, I skipped 2 grades, so I'm a 15-yr-old rising senior.

2. This tends to skew people's perceptions of my age/maturity in weird ways - either they think I'm older than I am, or much less mature than I (believe I) am. They're both kind of annoying.

3. In my friend group, there are two sisters, one going into college next year, one going into 7th grade. I'll call them Charlotte and Emily, respectively (no, there's not a third sister).

OK. So that's the background. About a year or so ago, it came out in a game of truth or dare at Charlotte's birthday party that I had a thing for the younger sister, Emily. This was not a good idea. Charlotte kinda freaked out, because I'd been in high school for the past 2 years with her, so she perceived me and Emily as being in 2 very distinct age groups that shouldn't inter-date or whatever. At that point Emily also said she didn't reciprocate, but might if she was older / I was younger.

Fast forward about a month-- Emily's been flirting with me pretty obviously in PE (the one class we have together) for a while, and as we walk upstairs she pulls me aside briefly to say that she does, in fact, like me. Whoa.

After some emails, we decide to start hanging out at lunch, but not tell any of our friend group about us. This goes swimmingly for a couple weeks. Then mostly out of the blue I get an email saying basically, "I can't deal with the thought of you going to college so soon, our relationship has an expiration date, we should break up." So that's the end of that.

But wait, there's more: we flirt on and off for a while, and around early May I text her (I know, I know, it's just crazy difficult to get alone time with her, especially now that Charlotte is actively anti-me being with her) my view on the college thing, which is that me leaving for college isn't for over a year, so we should be together while we can. She (surprisingly, wonderfully) agrees. But we also decide to wait a month before we even talk about telling the group or anyone else about us.

So for that month, we eat lunch together about once a week, occasionally joined by Charlotte and one of our other friends, both of whom I think suspect us. (Actually at this point I think a lot of our friend group have suspicions, especially because some have found out about our past relationship by this point.) But then around the end of school, I mention that it's been a month, and ask what she's thinking about telling people. She says that she feels like there isn't really that much to tell people about, which I blame on the fact that we've been trying to be secretive. But she blames it on our lack of similarity: "There's nothing for us to talk about, we don't have similar interests," so we kind of stop hanging out. Oh, crucial info I missed - we originally connected over a discussion of our core values, but didn't really get to know each other all that much before we started "dating" or whatever it was, so this was new.

But as I understand it, we're still (no idea what to call this so I'll just go with) "dating," just still secretively and somewhat less serious than before. Oh, crucial info I missed - we originally connected over a discussion of our core values, but didn't really get to know each other all that much before we started "dating" or whatever it was, so this was new. But still, every once in a while we text somewhat flirtatiously, and we hang out with the group occasionally.

And that's about how things stand. I've been meaning to ask her if she thinks we'll ever tell the group about us, but I've been putting it off because I'm afraid she'll say no, in which case I might feel like we should break up. I was really lonely when I wasn't with her, and I'm not looking forward to going back to that.

It felt good to type this all out. Being so secretive about it and not telling my best friends was kinda taking a toll on me, I think. Don't try to deal with stuff on your own, kids. No man is an island.

Anyway, if anyone reading has advice, please, hit me with it. I'm not really sure where to go from here.

(Just saw nowaypablo and OftenBen's admonitions to tell the story - here it is, guys. Tagging to make sure you see it.)

P.S. IRL friends that may be reading this (you know who you are) - I'm trusting you not to say anything. Seriously.

nowaypablo  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You're giving me flashbacks galen. Oh god the high school. The high school is real.

I gotta lull this over/talk to a therapist before I can respond to your story:D but I think you should take ref's mature, adult version of advice and talk to Emily with honesty and straightforwardness. It's probably going to scare the living shit out of you and you're gonna trip over words and she's gonna misunderstand you and you're gonna be confused and then you'll continue on the flailing dummy-rocket of emotions until you land in a desert somewhere. It's okay, it's necessary, be a fool now and you won't later, just be honest.

Evaluate your own situation first, then go talk to her. Figure out how you feel, put it all out on the table for yourself. Figure out what your concerns are, put it all out on the table for yourself, doesn't matter how irrational. Put everything in your mind out and go through it, be clear, and then go talk to her and tell her concisely what you want, and what's on your mind. Understand the risks that she might not want what you want, or that she might not be thinking what you are, or she's got other things holding her back, or that she doesn't have any clue and can't explain it to you. But talk to her. That's how relationships should be handled. Don't play games, hide, cover up or waste time. Enjoy your relationship now. I'll counter your story with my high school relationship story in a bit so you get what I'm talking about. I'm sorry you have to deal with the same shit I did :D

_refugee_  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I would talk to Charlotte and make sure she still thinks you are dating.

ButterflyEffect  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I think asking her an anonymous question on Tumblr is a better route.

havires  ·  3760 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Is this actually done in relationships? I mean is this how people are settling their issues and working out their problems now? Jesus I don't want to live on this planet any more.

_refugee_  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't spend 75% of my reddit time in relationship advice for nothing.

Not gonna lie, my freshman year of high school I had a "boyfriend" and at one point put a friend up to asking him if he liked me. Sigh.

user-inactivated  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

This wasn't a normal thing to do in 9th grade?

....shit.

galen  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's OK eightbit, we've all done it.

galen  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Seriously considered badging.

galen  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You mean Emily?

_refugee_  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm sorry, yes, that's absolutely what I mean.

When she said "I don't think there's much to tell," and then you stopped hanging out so much, it sounds like she politely (or not-very-communicatively) was telling you she didn't want to see you any more.

"Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets, secrets hurt someone." - The Office

Secret relationships aren't a good idea and I think it is a red flag if one person is actively encouraging the relationship to stay secret.

galen  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yeah, I'm gonna talk to her. I need to just ask a.) if we're still together, and b.) if she'd be OK telling people about us, and I think maybe if the answer to either of those questions is no, by the end of the conversation it'll be over.

_refugee_  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

This sounds reasonable, and I wish you luck.

galen  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Thanks, ref. Now I just have to figure out how to get some time alone with her.

galen  ·  3760 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I ended up just calling her a couple minutes ago. You were right, that was her breaking up with me. Fuck

nowaypablo feel like telling your relationship story to take my mind off mine? You don't have to, I'm just kind of intrigued

E: Why is all my music about love

_refugee_  ·  3760 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Sorry about that dude. Yes let's bother nowaypablo and make him tell his stories. Mine are all old and told.

Have you listened to CHVRCHES? They're pretty non-love-friendly I think.

How about some of this

nowaypablo  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

this was four days ago it feels like ten.. Why does time move slowly on Hubski???

And yeah, galen, you should tell us about mrs google-eye-hand-puppet.

galen  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Why does time move slowly on Hubski???

Because it's the opposite of reddit? High quality discourse, somewhat low volume of posts, generally not throwaway stuff that slips from your memory and makes the time feel faster than it is.

OftenBen  ·  3761 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The people want to know.