a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
IntimidatingScones's profile
IntimidatingScones

x 34

stats
following: 11
followed tags: 9
followed domains: 0
badges given: 0 of 0
hubskier for: 3163 days

recent comments, posts, and shares:
IntimidatingScones  ·  3147 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Reddit is for boys, Pinterest is for girls

I understand that. Most of the discussion in the thread that spun this one was assuming not though.

I also find it interesting to note how much of an uproar the mere suggestion caused. That in and of itself may speak to a lot of this.

IntimidatingScones  ·  3147 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The Results are In.

    We'll get into it further because you and your boyfriend are an informative case study.
Point and fact. Don't be a jerk and people won't mute you.
IntimidatingScones  ·  3147 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: A Bit Smart, and a Bit Poop

Oh those points are not beyond me. When I suggested the community as a whole may be causing the rift, it was being dramatic. It obviously upset a large portion of people. Hence the apology.

Though you do have to admit, it got people thinking. It got people wondering. And for all assertions that hubskiers are very nice, I can confirm that. When I came back, I had one PM saying "Hey, I want you to feel welcomed!" and one saying very politely that I wasn't much worth the time.

IntimidatingScones  ·  3147 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Reddit is for boys, Pinterest is for girls

Look at it without the distraction of colors.

Scribd----------50/50 foursquare-----48/52 instagram------53/47 youtube--------46/54 pininterest-----72/28 reddit----------26/74 hubski-----------5/95

Now, the last one may be drastically different due to sample size.

IntimidatingScones  ·  3147 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The Results are In.

thenewgreen, two things I agree with Laurelai in that the ignore button solves some but not all problems,

You have to be harassed by the person to know that person should be ignored, and

If you ignore someone likely to harass people, you won't see other people getting harassed by them and be there to stand up for them.

This is why I've chosen to mute but not ignore.

IntimidatingScones  ·  3147 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The Results are In.

kleinbl00, I muted you because you're a jerk to me and a lot of people. It's not news to anyone around here, but it was news to me a week ago. This isn't about you being a jerk though. It's about someone completely different saying something sexist that might drive women away. It might explain the trend. Seen above. In the graph.

Not about you.

IntimidatingScones  ·  3147 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The Results are In.

To clarify, I never said I was angry about the suggestions for my writing, or even that I was angry about the sexism, but just pointed it out using myself as an example. I never raked anyone across the coals in any of my interactions in those threads. I explained my point of view with the suggestions and ignored the sexism assuming it was just one person. But a graph like that suggested to me that I might not be the only one getting that treatment, that it might not have been a fluke after all. I posted my observation and a suggestion of support and action. I'm sure, thenewgreen, you're point is somewhere on the cusp of "We aren't all sexist," and yes, I agree. It was overly dramatic. I'm sorry.

I was just trying to say let's watch out for one another, ok?

IntimidatingScones  ·  3147 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The Results are In.

It is a lot to do with better, and so much to do with new users.

A big part of my point is that when you're new to a site you don't know the norm, you don't know the local trolls (COUGHSEEBELOWCOUGH!) and the only way to do that is to lurk. Which is probably why that's exactly what most people do. But I'm not a wallflower. I prefer to go up to people and say "hi."

But yeah, when I'm very quickly discriminated against, the community pales quickly even if the local moderator did say "Welcome, nice to have you around."

The comment was hurtful to me. I have never seen men and women communicate differently. I don't write that way because I didn't observe that. Could it be possible lil noticed that difference because she is a different generation? Maybe older men and women feel more of a barrier, because in their times issues were still being ironed out? Nowadays, supporting behavior like that is a bit backwards. Let's not undo the work that lil and her generation worked so hard to accomplish.

IntimidatingScones  ·  3149 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: The Results are In.

I debated heavily on whether or not to say this, now knowing that I am speaking to almost uniformally a male crowd, but the fact I now feel pressured not to post in and of itself rather prompts the necessity...

Truth is, I find the gender ratio really disturbing. I asked Dupurz about the sample size and he told me 126 people took the survey. Given mk is followed by nearly 700 people, we can come to a few conclusions: Either the sample size is around 1/6 and not a true representation, or there are a lot more registered users than active ones.

Given lil's information that:

    The earlier test of 101 people was 6/95, or about 6% non-male.
we might be forced to believe that these results are actually fairly accurate of the active members.

I instantly wondered why? Why are there so few females here? What is it about places like this that drive females away? It can't be that it's geared towards males, because we ourselves decide the content, and besides, WoW is geared towards males and it has a thriving female population and no one questions that fact there.

Dupurz answered my wonders with, "It's because most of the people on hubski are redditors." But that only leads to, 'Why are most redditors male?'

The answer I found for that was that hubski is the place redditors went because they got tired of reddit which was the place digg people went when they got tired of digg which was the place 4chan people went after getting tired of 4chan. And 4chan (if my internet history is correct) is the birthplace of "tits or gtfo."

But surly, surely, Intimidating Scones, we as the 4th generation successor have evolved past all that! Surely?...

According to the time stamp, only one day after I was "outed" as female, this assertion showed up on my first post to hubski:

    He treated you as a guy, probably out of respect.

It was the final insult after multiple misogynistic statements. 'Out of respect?' Is that implying it is disrespectful to be treated as who I am? That treating me as a woman would be treating me worse than treating me as a man? Sorry hubski, but you're sexist.

Yes, yes, I know, it was one person! Not fair to call hubski as a whole sexist! But, then again, this post was global number one for days, and the day this comment was made, the post was the day's community top post. So, not only was there much discussion in the thread, and many people saw it, no one -- no one -- called this person out for their sexism. The post was even upvoted. The only comment below was answering the commenter's question, "Why didn't you [link your book?]" Which was answered simply, "She did."

So there is the difference between the two: Blizzard has a no tolerance attitude towards discrimination.

Now I understand Blizzard can pay people very well to lay the smack-down on any and all discriminatory or otherwise offensive bullshit, and hubski just honestly doesn't have the same resources.

But doesn't that mean it's up to all of us to speak out and make this community a place where everyone is welcome? If someone is discriminated against in their second day contributing to the community, I would expect them to want to leave and never look back (I honestly almost did). And if we stay silent while someone else discriminates against the new kid on the block, we are literally letting them speak for us and our community.

According to this graph, we could have double the community. I think we ourselves could make that happen, and make this place the center of human interaction we all look towards it to be.

IntimidatingScones  ·  3149 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What Are You Most Self-Conscious About?

Well, working out usually makes me want to eat more. When I took up an exercise that beefed me a bit, I started eating everything in sight. The result was both muscles and gaining weight.

...though when I stopped working out it all started turning into flub so...--I MEAN I'M BEAUTIFUL AND BARBIES SUCK.

IntimidatingScones  ·  3149 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What Are You Most Self-Conscious About?

Hey, talking from experience of being on the other side of that, you know, dating the one who wonders if they're a good boyfriend:

When he opened up and and expressed that fear to me, and reiterated it when he was worried, it was very easy for me to soothe that worry. And I found it comforting to know I was able to do so, so it brought us closer rather than being any kind of pain to me.

I'm just an advocate of openness.

IntimidatingScones  ·  3149 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What Are You Most Self-Conscious About?

Point and fact:

IntimidatingScones  ·  3149 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Sick.

Yeah they didn't put H1N2 in the flu shot this year and that's what's going around. So it's more of a preview of what would happen without a flu shot than a problem with super bugs.

On a side not, always finish your antibiotics, boys and girls. Nobody likes super bugs.

IntimidatingScones81
text  ·  #hubski
IntimidatingScones  ·  3150 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What Are You Most Self-Conscious About?

Whenever I answer this question people gawk at me and all I can do is throw my hands up and shout, "SO I OVERCOMPENSATED! SUE ME!"

But I've always been self-conscious about my inteligence. AUGH! See?? See what I mean?? Don't you see the... spelling....error?

My family was brutal about it. I'm the youngest in a family of geniuses (two of whom act kind of like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory sometimes.) I remember in first grade coming home to exclaim, "I know addition!" My sisters laughed and taught me multiplication. When I went back to school to get my friend's approval, exclaiming, "I know multiplication!" I got bullied until I cried. 'Twas a lonely childhood.

My constant struggles with reading speed and spelling never helped, and then I learned at 15 I was dyslexic. Not just oh kinda sorta dyslexic, but I had visual dyslexia, auditory dyslexia, and discalculia all to severe degrees.

But I'm also an "eat your fear" kind of gal (high-five, Saydrah!) and didn't give up on my dream to be a writer. I majored in the hardest field for a dyslexic, kicked college's buttox and for the most part am pretty damn pleased with myself for it.

I know I'm smart. It's just sometimes I go on rampages to prove it.

(Anecdotally, I'm also really self-conscious about "Oh god how do I hubski!?")

You said scones are delicious. My name is Intimidating Scones. I made a joke that I'm delicious which is borderline sexual harass--OH NVM! I'm not funny!!

IntimidatingScones  ·  3150 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Tips are not Optional - How a Good Waitress gets Fired by an Angry Customer

No it wasn't any of those three places. I was selling over $60, probably more like $150 an hour around rush, but you realize servers aren't the only step in the process, and most places share wages. Also, people don't always tip at all. This was a big problem where I worked. We were number one in the state on server friendliness, helpfulness, etc, but I was still going home with about $3 a night atop state minimum wage. That's after an 8 hour shift.

IntimidatingScones  ·  3151 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Tips are not Optional - How a Good Waitress gets Fired by an Angry Customer

Careful on the assumptions there. How much a tipped-wage worker goes home with can vary from east side to west side of a town, much less different parts of the country. I worked at a corporate place and made less than $9.

IntimidatingScones  ·  3151 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Adam Lanza & The Dark Side of Asperger's

I understand what you're saying about being careful with labeling, but I would like to note that what wasn't mentioned in the article is what defines autism or Asperger's. Shy, introverted, easily overwhelmed, and quirky are results of the things that cause Asperger's not what makes the definition themselves.

Some of the things that define Asperger's is that they literally sense the world differently. Their senses work differently. Noises are louder, they can hear pitches most people can't, lights are brighter (louder, too, if you will), they sometimes see as if the world were a badly tuned rabbit-ear TV, they are often super-tasters, they feel things more...well just more. A girl with Asperger's told me once, "I'd rather be punched than tickled."

Other things are that they can't read expressions and nuances very well. Because of this they often struggle to express themselves. I can only imagine this would cause a lot of the symptoms in and of itself. I'd be introverted, shy, and easily overwhelmed too.

Frustration can very much lead to very dark things. But honestly, the world is full of every kind of frustration and anyone can reach their limit.

IntimidatingScones  ·  3151 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Tips are not Optional - How a Good Waitress gets Fired by an Angry Customer

Actually the company was not in the original post and the scrawled name was not widely legible. She didn't bring attention to the company, the angry customer did. The angle is about waitstaff not being treated as people.

Also, receipts are not in any way private. The computer has the credit card number, the receipt is just a way to say "you must pay this amount." The same result would have incurred if the offensive note had been left on a napkin.

And you can compare retail to waiting if you like, but it's a lot more accurate if you say waiting is like retail if when every time the clock is between 11 and 2, and 4 and 7 it's Black Friday.

Point 1: places like B-Dubs isn't worth it not simply because of the system but because of the jacked up prices on mass produced food. It's better to save your cash for the places that are worth it. I think I correctly read this point in your post.

Point 2: I am always delicious. With coffee or otherwise. I think I also correctly read that in your pos--what? What kind of harassment...?!

This ain't Europe, darlin'. Over there being a waiter makes you decent cash, the kind of cash you can live off of without the tip.

If we here in the good ole USofA followed suit then we COULD do away with tipping.

Also related: Life Pro Tip--If you want to have a good idea if someone's a nice person or just good at making you think they're nice, look at how they treat wait staff.

IntimidatingScones  ·  3151 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Lil's Book of Questions: Will You Marry Me?

    Slavery has ended, but marriage survives.

My good sir, the comparison is yours.

IntimidatingScones  ·  3151 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Lil's Book of Questions: Will You Marry Me?

A lot of people don't like asking for help. And a lot of people like giving help without being asked.

IntimidatingScones  ·  3151 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Comment Priority

I KNEW IT!!