- Do you hate the New England Patriots? Sorry—do you hate the Super Bowl LIII–winning, NFL-champions-for-the-sixth-time, greatest-dynasty-in-the-history-of-gridiron-football, kind-of-horrifically-unstoppable New England Patriots? I do! All week, ahead of the game, I felt a vague hornet’s buzz in the back of my brain at the thought that Tom Brady and Bill Belichick were about to win yet another title, and then just, like … stand there, being annoying, with their faces.
I’ve been trying to think about why I feel this way. What a silly thing, after all, to hate a sports team. Human, but silly. (I’m tempted to add: like most things to do with sports.) The world has bigger problems than whether the Patriots and their blandly handsome, handsomely smug, smugly bland quarterback lift a trophy. When I say this to myself, though, what my brain sends up by way of rebuttal is: buzzzzz.
I keep coming back to the idea that there are two ways of experiencing football, with the Patriots, for reasons not entirely in their control, having come to represent, for many of us, the second, far less rewarding and enjoyable way. I’ll try to explain what I mean by that.
I hate them because I lived in Boston for three years and Boston sports fans are some of the most obnoxious sport fans I've ever met. Every time they'd lose it'd make my world a little shinier. Fuck Boston sports fans, I hope everyone of their pitchers and quarterbacks break their godamn arm.
Naaah. Everyone adored the Michael Jordan Bulls. And the Bears were so loved they were allowed to do this shit:
Not everyone adored Jordan. Here in the Metro Detroit area he was a pansy protected by the NBA and Nike money machine. When the Pistons created The Jordan Rules I remember the pride in my underdog team working together to triumph of the NBA’s Tom Brady. Joe Dumars could shut Jordan down and was boss. The bears were branded as a bunch of Joe-six Packs that had stumbled into greatness. Even the sun shines on a dogs ass kind of guys. They were expected to do regrettably stupid things like the rest of us. Even cooler was Jim Macmahon’s headband fine. Tom Brady is too impeccable and it appears that he doesn’t have to work hard for what he’s achieved. I guess that makes him a dick. He does want to play professionally until he’s as old as me (45). That will be worth watching. He’ll appear human like the rest of us. Maybe image is everything?
Yeah but the Pistons and their fans always had sand in their panties. And I didn't say "Jordan" I said "the Michael Jordan Bulls." Pippen. Rodman. Jackson. You've got the thread of it with the Joe Six Pack Bears, though. The Packers or the Steelers aren't any fun to cheer against because they seem like a bunch of dudes. This is why everyone loves Ayerton Senna but nobody loved Michael Schumacher - the Patriots are utterly devoid of humility, approachability or likeability. They're the Gold Team from Hunger Games or whatever. It's the reason everyone hates the fuckin' Yankees.
If Aaron Rodgers had the success of Tom Brady I think he'd be as hated or more. He can be pretty pouty when his teammates fail. He's good looking and dates actresses. He's arguably better than Brady. I already hate that fucker but I'm a Bears fan so I'm biased.The Packers or the Steelers aren't any fun to cheer against because they seem like a bunch of dudes.