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comment by Cumol
Cumol  ·  651 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Paralyzed.

I am trying to imagine myself doing what you just said but it is just physically not possible.

She is moving away in 3 months. Into another city that is 2 hours away by train and I am stuck in my PhD for at least another two years. There is no possibility for me to be there for the child all the time, which means that it will occupy every weekend I have if I want to be a good dad.

What I don't like about the situation is that she chooses to force me into this situation. Knowing fully and well that we had other plans.

oyster  ·  651 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    she chooses to force me into this situation.

I think what you need to come to terms with is that you weren’t raped. The only thing you are a victim of is circumstance, just like the rest of us. She’s making her own plans about being a single mother because she doesn’t want to force you into anything. You’re asking her to walk away from what she see’s as her future child as if it’s so simple... so why is it so hard for you to consider the same option for yourself ? You’re not being forced into fatherhood, but you don’t like what walking away says about you, right ? Maybe she doesn’t want to be forced to be a mother, but she also can’t come to terms with what an abortion says about her. Starting to understand her position now ?

_refugee_  ·  651 days ago  ·  link  ·  

record scratch

what the fuck

b_b  ·  651 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Not trying to say you don't have a tough situation. Just addressing the one part about knowing how to be a good father. Circumstances notwithstanding, that part is way easier than you think it will be. That's all I got.