On July 5, 2015, my partner of 22 years, husband for 18, told me suddenly and without warning that he "needed space." He had "met someone." He seemed to think that he had to be single in order for her to take him seriously. She didn't take him seriously, but we were done. Then, he fell into a slough of despond and is still doing very badly. Nonetheless, we were already in the middle of legally separating and continued in that direction.
The Separation Agreement
Yesterday: signed, sealed, singed, spit on, done.
What I Learned
The Separation Agreement is filed nowhere except with us and our lawyers. It is only filed with a court if one of us needs to have a court order to deliver on whatever was promised. That's apparently how it works in Ontario. I needed this document though to use in various ways
1) get the pension services to split off 20% and redirect it to me
2) show my evidence of income so that the bank is more willing to remortgage
3) evidence of income so I can get him removed as guarantor of my mortgage (one of the agreements)
4) particularly, though, it allowed us to find out what is required by law and to protect each of us (mostly me) in a formal agreement
5) if either of us wants a formal divorce at some point, all the real work is done. Divorce requires some paperwork and filing charges of $447 (2016) total.
What He Learned
I asked "What can be learned?" of course. After a pause, he said, "I should have appreciated what I had." no shit Sherlock
What Else I Learned
Anything can happen to anyone anytime.
We know little and control even less.
You don't have to go down with every ship. Stay fabulous.
If the universe can create someone like you, the universe has already created someone for you. Sometimes, with a little psychic paging, magic, faith, luck, skill, and awesomeness, the two of you might just meet. mivasairski