Going on a family vacation for a few days. Right now the extent of our plan is "Let's go to Albuquerque on Tuesday!" So can anyone help out? What's cool in Albuquerque? Where are the overrated tourist traps? Where's the best food? Thanks y'all. Oh, and expect a trip report :)
Leave. Albuquerque is a shithole. I thank my lucky stars that Breaking Bad came out because now instead of hearing all the time about the "land of Enchantment" people ask me "Is it like in Breaking Bad?" and I can tell them "yeah, but you should also keep in mind that Mike Judge modeled Beavis & Butthead on his time in a trailer park in Albuquerque." The food is shit. New Mexican Mexican food is norteno lard-filled grease. The restaurant anybody gives a shit about is the Frontier, which has giant fucking sticky buns. They taste like sticky buns. They look like sticky buns. They are distinguished by the fact that they are big. There used to be a fucking amazing gem and mineral shop in Albuquerque, about two miles up from the Frontier, but it's closed now. Rio Grande is pretty amazing, but they're almost entirely mail-order and if you don't care much for last wax investment I don't think you'll care. Albuquerque used to have Starbase 10, which was an awesome gamer/geek shop, that we got when Wargames West closed, which was a truly awesome gamer/geek shop, but they're both dead now. I have family in Albuquerque. They go to chain restaurants. Even the Coyote Cafe ("we don't serve Zima and we never will") is gone. Looking over a "things to do in Albuquerque" list the only thing that looks vaguely interesting is the Sandia Peak Tramway ("World's longest because we define 'world' and 'longest' however we fucking well feel like!"), which I used to want to do on my birthday, because it's the only interesting thing in Albuquerque. Don't eat the food at the top. It's expensive and shitty. Also, you can drive right up the back if you want and skip the whole "tram" part. There's a nuke museum at the airport/Kirtland AFB (Because in NM, the National Guard and Air Force use the same runways as Southwest and America West) but it's marginally less interesting than the one in Los Alamos, which is pretty uninteresting. I don't know where you're coming into or going out of, but if you want a road trip, head up the 550 and the 4 up into Jemez Springs, then down into Los Alamos, then down into Espanola, through Tesuque and Santa Fe and back to Albuquerque. That's a good 5-hour loop that shows you country that isn't hideous, Natives that aren't selling you turquoise and some, like, nature. Eat at Los Ojos in Jemez Springs. Marvel at Hummingbird Music Camp, place of true terror in my youth. Have dudes with M4s wave you through the shitty town I grew up in. Cruise down Main Hill Road and imagine dealing with that with two blowouts in one day. Head down into Espanola and eat at Blake's Lottaburger (the only true New Mexico restaurant). Drive through Tesuque and walk around Shidoni Foundry (a statuary gallery mostly). Drive through the Plaza of Santa Fe so you can say "really? That's it?" then head back down to the place where Olive Garden is the best restaurant in town.
then head back down to the place where Olive Garden is the best restaurant in town.
man, she found a lot of nice things to say about olive garden.
It's not like I read a lot of restaurant reviewers, so it might not be that unusual, but this made my head hurt.
maybe the hot air balloon festival is this weekend do the loop kleinbl00 talked about, it's cool but do you want a better vacation? does your family take your advice? rent a ski cottage etc above taos. it's july. no one is renting. they are cheap. the mountains are beautiful. you can drive all over the place and never get tired of anything. the hikes are boss. avoid taos itself.
Our cousins offered us their ski cottage above Taos. We didn't take them up on it because apparently it's too long of a drive. Same reason we "can't" go to Santa Fe: because 4 days in Albuquerque is apparently better than 3 days 18 hours somewhere more interesting.
If you have time and are up for some hiking check out the Tent Rocks its an easy hike and if you go early enough you can beat most of the crowds. Hiking through there reminded me a lot of Antelope Canyon in Paige Arizona but with less color and a whole lot more freedom. If you're driving in from the west I would recommend making a two or three hour detour to El Marro and taking the short hike to the top. There's also the Bandelier National Monument. It's more out of the way like El Marro but it's neat nonetheless. And if you really do take kleinbl00's recommendation to heart, go to Santa Fe. I haven't spent a whole lot of time in each city but I can say without a doubt I have always had a better time in Santa Fe.