a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by lil
lil  ·  3541 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Paddling into the Waves or What I Learned from Not Muting

    in what ways these intentional lessons or otherwise drive offline motivation and behavior.
Hubski is a rehearsal for off-line interactions. In my case, I'm actively looking for ways to improve communication both on and off-line, in written and face-to-face communication.




user-inactivated  ·  3540 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I have given some precursory of thought, lil. I'm not exactly OK with you viewing me as a tool for your "real life" interactions.

I mean ... I have an end beyond that. And I think that that sense of Kantian value that we each have value beyond our value to each other makes me not want to interact with people online so much. I am poor enough at human interaction in the face-to-face world that I feel that that undomesticated ME is reflected here, too.

But when I see what you contribute here on a daily basis with such earnestness ... I'm OK with you seeing all this as rehearsal. It just reenforces that some people perceive this world from different angles.

That said if you ever need to practice arguing with an asshole ... I'm generally around.

lil  ·  3538 days ago  ·  link  ·  

No one wants to be used, and of course we “each have value beyond our value to each other.” I can see how my word “rehearsal” can make it seem that I am diminishing your intrinsic value. I’m glad you challenged me on that.

Please let me clarify my meaning. I consider people online to be real people and encounters like this to be real life. As in real life, I use every conflict as an opportunity to be thoughtful about which words I choose that will be effective. So to be more accurate, every written conversation is a rehearsal in the sense that I write, then delete, then rewrite, trying to get the words right – as I am doing here. (I've been working on this response for several days). In spoken life, there’s not so much of a chance to “rewrite.” I’m not always successful in either realm, but writing allows more contemplation.

All we have are your words and my words. The words have to stand up for themselves and work harder because on line we are not distracted by factors that arise in person. It is only our words that rub up against each other.

I know that online I have enjoyed the bite of sarcasm. I’ve enjoyed the silly ego-boosts of on-line recognition when I’ve beaten back a bully. I am conflicted about these small pleasures and perhaps they do more harm than good.

user-inactivated  ·  3541 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Do I get a stand-in?

user-inactivated  ·  3541 days ago  ·  link  ·  

More seriously I am now going to have to contemplate that idea of internet interactions are rehearsal.

user-inactivated  ·  3540 days ago  ·  link  ·  
This comment has been deleted.
nowaypablo  ·  3541 days ago  ·  link  ·  

On Hubski. Whereas IRL you can't cap a conversation by linking a .gif to express your feelings, or a doge meme to express your incapability of feeling like I do/reddit does.

lil  ·  3541 days ago  ·  link  ·  

In real life, you cap a conversation with a hug.

nowaypablo  ·  3540 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Or turn and run!

cgod  ·  3541 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I've got a coworker who likes to talk about his band all the time. Every time he starts droning on about his boring ass band I take out my phone and show him pictures of my kid. He starts squirming immediately. Waiting for the day he realizes I'm screwing around with him, telling him that there is stuff the rest of us could give a damn about.

Pretty much linking a .gif IRL.

_refugee_  ·  3541 days ago  ·  link  ·  

In real life, people make faces. :) The beauty of snapchat - so much can be conveyed merely through expressions.

nowaypablo  ·  3540 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Do you actually like SnapChat that much?:D Its so restricting, I can't express myself like I want to in like 3 words and a farm animal emoji.

Maybe that's the problem. Maybe it's telling me something. Hm.

_refugee_  ·  3540 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I love snapchat. Sometimes it isn't the appropriate medium but for casual conversation/back-and-forth/"hey what are you up to?" It's great. I value its impermanence, which minimizes perfectionism and allows one to send silly/ugly pictures that one wouldn't necessarily want permanently on a network like, say, Facebook.

nowaypablo  ·  3540 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I value its impermanence

TIL SnapChat is the ultimate ploy at a subconscious propagation of Buddhism in the most polar culture of young America. Woa.