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comment by _refugee_
_refugee_  ·  3995 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: When Doctors Make You Feel Guilty - Julie Beck - The Atlantic

My doctor tries to order me around.

I don't take it well.





b_b  ·  3995 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Order you around, or suggest you change certain behaviors? I'm sure (s)he is well meaning, but maybe lacks manner.

It is surprisingly hard to be totally honest with your doctor for some reason, which is odd, since you're hindering their ability to do their job to the best of their ability when you don't tell the truth. I had a situation the other day when a doctor asked me a lifestyle question, and without even thinking my reaction was to lie. I backtracked a little and tried to be more truthful, but still, my gut said, "Fuck this stranger asking about my personal life." Then my rational side replied, "Uh, hello dipshit, the whole reason you're there is to have your personal life examined in detail." Anyway, I told him that I knew his advice was good medical advice, but that I'm probably not going to change my behavior.

_refugee_  ·  3995 days ago  ·  link  ·  

She ordered me. She asked if I smoked, I was honest and forthcoming. I told her I knew it was bad, that I should quit while I was still young and before it became a deeply ingrained habit. She told me she didn't need to give me the lecture, I'd just given it to myself. I knew what I knew.

Then she prescribed me birth control. We talked about various kinds and picked one and she said "Now, this medicine interacts poorly with smoking. You stop smoking today."

I consider that ordering. I'm sure she's well meaning but, and I know this is my nature, because I was directly told what to do and it wasn't presented as an option or a good choice I should do for my health - but as a non-negotiable statement being handed down to me by Someone In Authority - I did what stubborn, pig-headed, obstinate, contrary me does, and I started smoking more.

The person whose fault that is is me. Yes. It was a stupid choice and it was a choice I made, regardless of whether it was a reaction or not. I'm an adult and I should be better than mere reactions. But also, as a doctor, you should not be ordering around your patients like you're god.

b_b  ·  3995 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yeah, that sounds like the two of you just don't mix very well.

My experience was a lot better than that. Conversation went something like this.

Me: I'm here for an STD screen.

Doctor: You're sexually active? (I nod) And you practice safe sex?

Me: Well, I've never been raped, so I guess so.

Doctor: (Smirking, rolling eyes) You know what I mean.

Me: Yes, well, sometimes, well, not all the time, um, not really I guess. Well, it's never my idea anyway.

Doctor: As a medical professional, it's my obligation to warn you about the dangers of unprotected...blah, blah, blah...whogivesashit...blah, blah, blah.

Me: Can we just get this over with?

_refugee_  ·  3995 days ago  ·  link  ·  

She also seemed vaguely judgey on the number of sexual partners I'd had in the past year, but it was a vague sort of thing that could be filed on "I'm obligated to tell you that the less sexual partners you have the lower your risk of STDs and STIs, even if you're practising safe sex" so I kind of didn't let it phase me.

Besides it really wasn't many.

b_b  ·  3995 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't understand why that's even a relevant medical question. The only reason is to make you feel shame. Either you have an STD/I, or you don't. No matter how many people you sleep with, you get herpes from one singular person.

thenewgreen  ·  3995 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Were, per chance, your gums bleeding during this visit? If so, perhaps her insistence was justified. I kid, I agree that doctors should not be insisting such things, but I have no problem with them being overt and not sugarcoating the potential hazards that lifestyle choices present.

I forget, do you still smoke regularly? I know we shared one in DC but I seem to recall bunking that for us from some REALLY snotty girls.

Wow. I just had a memory return to me from the land of blackout.

_refugee_  ·  3995 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Nope, gums weren't bleeding. I know I should quit it. I've only been smoking for a year (this go-round). Before that I quit for almost two years and before that I smoked a pack and a half a day. So it's clearly a love-and-leave-em affair for me.

I do still smoke regularly. Sometimes more than less. You may have bunked one from snotty girls after Meriadoc and I departed. I had enough to get me through the night and shared with you and insomniasexx .

Next time we go out I shall have to contrive to blackout. - No not really, I tend to throw up before I blackout, as a result I've only blacked out twice. (Impressively, on one occasion I both did not throw up, and still had the sense to turn down an offer of a ride from a car of three middle eastern men. (THAT was a memory I only kept because drunk me was also TEXTING while stumbling down the block and I told the person I was texting about it.) Yay blackout me.)