She ordered me. She asked if I smoked, I was honest and forthcoming. I told her I knew it was bad, that I should quit while I was still young and before it became a deeply ingrained habit. She told me she didn't need to give me the lecture, I'd just given it to myself. I knew what I knew.

Then she prescribed me birth control. We talked about various kinds and picked one and she said "Now, this medicine interacts poorly with smoking. You stop smoking today."

I consider that ordering. I'm sure she's well meaning but, and I know this is my nature, because I was directly told what to do and it wasn't presented as an option or a good choice I should do for my health - but as a non-negotiable statement being handed down to me by Someone In Authority - I did what stubborn, pig-headed, obstinate, contrary me does, and I started smoking more.

The person whose fault that is is me. Yes. It was a stupid choice and it was a choice I made, regardless of whether it was a reaction or not. I'm an adult and I should be better than mere reactions. But also, as a doctor, you should not be ordering around your patients like you're god.