This article that someone I know just posted on FB annoys me for some reason.
Because the author asked Bumble's on-staff Sociologist, the editor of Feministing, and "a New York City psychiatrist and Buddhist author" what they thought men on dating sites meant when they said "no drama." She speculated at great length about what men meant when they said "no drama." But she did not actually ask any male on a dating site who used the phrase "no drama" what they meant by "no drama."
Some of us have spent (does quick napkin math) twenty thousand hours observing the relationships of young men and women and have heard "drama" discussed, described and dissected since Bush was president and I can say with confidence that when people talk about "drama" in relation to friends or lovers, they universally mean "overreaction." "Drama" happens when a counterpart responds more - wait for it - dramatically to any setback or conflict than the instigator expected. The instigator may be completely mistaken in their expectations ("Why are you so mad? It was just the tip and she doesn't even mean anything to me!") but the "drama" is not "no hardship" it's "react in the way I expect you to react."
Worthy of note: some people (women outnumber men in my experience but men are well represented) cultivate "drama." By performing an outsized response to hardship they increase their relationship leverage and prestige. This "drama" is a staple of Reality TV and therefore a substantial exemplar for far too much of the population; after all, if Snooki does it, it must be good. Those who eschew "drama" tend to be happiest with others who feel likewise, while fans of "drama" are best together.
Sometimes the NYT shits the bed.
Anyways, I've noticed a lot of self conscious women tend to write articles/post statuses about something they are going through and then try to preach about it to all women. It normally starts with an experience they just had followed by their magnificent realization and deep thoughts with something like this to close it off:
From the article:
There are days when you accidentally sideswipe your neighbor’s car or you have to check someone you love into rehab. Other days are steeped in joy. The kind of partner I’d like shows up for it all.