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comment by psychoticmilkman
psychoticmilkman  ·  135 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 10, 2018

I'm exhausted.

Work is stressful. I barely have enough employees to cover our needs, So I'm picking up a lot of the extra hours. I have a LOT of different projects I'm working on and a lot of the small day to day stuff has gotten hard to handle.

The holidays have made my time off busy, which I dislike : /

I just feel like I haven't had any time to stop, breathe, and regroup in the last couple months.

Overall, things have just been super busy. But things are good.

Being married is weird. But also exactly the same (which is nice). I just don't know if I'll ever get used to the word "wife", she'll always be my girlfriend.

Also, I have an office at work now.

Like, my own office, with a door and a big desk and large comfy chair.

Having an office is kinda dope.




OftenBen  ·  135 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I just don't know if I'll ever get used to the word "wife", she'll always be my girlfriend.

I am enamored of the word 'fiancee.' We really enjoy using it, especially around family who get a lil uncomfortable when they hear it because we are both the oldest children in our respective families.

Congrats on the office and chair. Comfy seats often come with inversely comfortable responsibilities. Hope things settle out and you're able to find the staff you need and a schedule that works for you rather than against you.

kleinbl00  ·  135 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I am enamored of the word 'fiancee.' We really enjoy using it,

...did I miss something?

Something IMPORTANT?

OftenBen  ·  134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Ooops.

It's almost non-news to us, ha. Just formalizing something we both have felt and known for a while.

nowaypablo  ·  134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Motherfucker you snapchat me your dinner but don’t tell me you’re engaged??

OftenBen  ·  134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Ha, sorry hoss.

What can I say? I don't feel any different, she doesn't feel any different. We've been having conversations related to it for a while.

We were talking with her little cousins around the holidays and one of the middle-school aged boys asked me all wide eyed 'Wait, you asked my cousin to marry you? What if she said no?' and I had to explain to him that you don't just ask someone that question out of the blue. You have to talk about it first and make sure you want similar things in life.

kleinbl00  ·  134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

RIGHT?

kleinbl00  ·  134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Silly rabbit. First off, CONGRATULATIONS. I'm glad neither of you feel any different. That bodes well.

Some helpful advice? The reason you don't feel any different is this isn't news to you it's news to everyone around you. A marriage isn't really a deal between you and your spouse so much as it's a deal between you and your spouse and society. As such, you will experience less friction if you look at everything through the lens of "what would my casual friends and family think?"

Which is not to say you aren't driving the bus... but how you choose to conduct yourself through this awkward engagement period is pretty much a choice as to how you wish to present the union to those around you. And societal expectations are pretty set on "don't bury the lede." It makes people feel awkward. Celebrations aren't for us, they're for the people around us and you don't want to deny people the right to celebrate with you (on your terms - but you have to give them the notice).

Also - don't go with the ring you want. Go with the ring she wants. TRUST ME ON THIS.

From what I know jewelry is largely designed in Rhino these days.

OftenBen  ·  133 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Also - don't go with the ring you want. Go with the ring she wants. TRUST ME ON THIS.

You think my thick-fingered self is gonna draft this up solo? It's a very collaborative process. Collaborative in that she doesn't really care for jewelry and would just as soon stop by the courthouse on our way to pick up milk. My girl is all about meaning, could give half a fuck about the symbols used.

blackbootz  ·  134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

BRUH. CONGRATULATIONS!

OftenBen  ·  134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Why thank you!

psychoticmilkman  ·  135 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Comfy seats often come with inversely comfortable responsibilities.

This is my new favorite saying. I'm going to write it up on my whiteboard. (I have a whiteboard in my office too!)

OftenBen  ·  135 days ago  ·  link  ·  

What else are whiteboards for really?

psychoticmilkman  ·  134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Mine has drawings on it. I feel like I saw a whiteboard used in a meeting once...didn't really contribute much, we all had the same info on our computers.

goobster  ·  135 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I've found that "wife" is the legal designation, and "my love" is the personal one.

"I'll ask my love if she's available on Wednesday..."

"My wife and I would like to apply for a loan..."

Just wait until you start wondering about the modifier my, and whether that sounds like you OWN her, or...

Dala  ·  135 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Work is stressful. I barely have enough employees to cover our needs, So I'm picking up a lot of the extra hours. I have a LOT of different projects I'm working on and a lot of the small day to day stuff has gotten hard to handle.

This is my office even at full staff so I feel you. I have to write down everything I need to do or it won't happen and every time I look at my to do list it feels a little like I have fallen into a pit that keeps getting deeper no matter how hard I climb. Keep pushing and hopefully we will make it through!

psychoticmilkman  ·  135 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I've only recently started keeping a daily schedule and writing lists down. I think its helping, but I need to be more consistent with it.