Share good ideas and conversation.   Login, Join Us, or Take a Tour!
comment by OftenBen
OftenBen  ·  221 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 10, 2018

    I just don't know if I'll ever get used to the word "wife", she'll always be my girlfriend.

I am enamored of the word 'fiancee.' We really enjoy using it, especially around family who get a lil uncomfortable when they hear it because we are both the oldest children in our respective families.

Congrats on the office and chair. Comfy seats often come with inversely comfortable responsibilities. Hope things settle out and you're able to find the staff you need and a schedule that works for you rather than against you.

kleinbl00  ·  221 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I am enamored of the word 'fiancee.' We really enjoy using it,

...did I miss something?

Something IMPORTANT?

OftenBen  ·  220 days ago  ·  link  ·  


It's almost non-news to us, ha. Just formalizing something we both have felt and known for a while.

nowaypablo  ·  220 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Motherfucker you snapchat me your dinner but don’t tell me you’re engaged??

OftenBen  ·  220 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Ha, sorry hoss.

What can I say? I don't feel any different, she doesn't feel any different. We've been having conversations related to it for a while.

We were talking with her little cousins around the holidays and one of the middle-school aged boys asked me all wide eyed 'Wait, you asked my cousin to marry you? What if she said no?' and I had to explain to him that you don't just ask someone that question out of the blue. You have to talk about it first and make sure you want similar things in life.

kleinbl00  ·  220 days ago  ·  link  ·  


kleinbl00  ·  220 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Silly rabbit. First off, CONGRATULATIONS. I'm glad neither of you feel any different. That bodes well.

Some helpful advice? The reason you don't feel any different is this isn't news to you it's news to everyone around you. A marriage isn't really a deal between you and your spouse so much as it's a deal between you and your spouse and society. As such, you will experience less friction if you look at everything through the lens of "what would my casual friends and family think?"

Which is not to say you aren't driving the bus... but how you choose to conduct yourself through this awkward engagement period is pretty much a choice as to how you wish to present the union to those around you. And societal expectations are pretty set on "don't bury the lede." It makes people feel awkward. Celebrations aren't for us, they're for the people around us and you don't want to deny people the right to celebrate with you (on your terms - but you have to give them the notice).

Also - don't go with the ring you want. Go with the ring she wants. TRUST ME ON THIS.

From what I know jewelry is largely designed in Rhino these days.

OftenBen  ·  219 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Also - don't go with the ring you want. Go with the ring she wants. TRUST ME ON THIS.

You think my thick-fingered self is gonna draft this up solo? It's a very collaborative process. Collaborative in that she doesn't really care for jewelry and would just as soon stop by the courthouse on our way to pick up milk. My girl is all about meaning, could give half a fuck about the symbols used.

blackbootz  ·  220 days ago  ·  link  ·  


OftenBen  ·  220 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Why thank you!

psychoticmilkman  ·  221 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Comfy seats often come with inversely comfortable responsibilities.

This is my new favorite saying. I'm going to write it up on my whiteboard. (I have a whiteboard in my office too!)

OftenBen  ·  221 days ago  ·  link  ·  

What else are whiteboards for really?

psychoticmilkman  ·  221 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Mine has drawings on it. I feel like I saw a whiteboard used in a meeting once...didn't really contribute much, we all had the same info on our computers.