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comment by Isherwood
Isherwood  ·  2585 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Trying and failing vs listening and learning

It's a fact, sitting quiet is boring. Reading without participating is boring. But sometimes I wonder why I post shit stories for pixilated affirmations instead of sharing who I really am. When I try and fail I'm not sharing what I believe, I'm sharing things that might entice people enough to spread my name. To tell me my news is actually new. I'm trying to leave my mark on the world instead of letting the world leave a mark on me, and I wonder why. What's the point of connection if the only goal was proving it's possible.

Maybe I'm the only person who thinks this, but there's too many actions, too much evidence showing that I'm not.

I'll sleep now. And maybe I'll delete this in the sober morning.





rezzeJ  ·  2585 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  

'Sitting quiet' is boring only if you never taken the time to fully experience sitting quietly. There is more value and meaning to be found in considered silence than forced noise.

What is gained by reinforcing to everyone here that you do in fact exist?

Isherwood  ·  2585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Easy affirmation. The world is a largely plain, boring, and repetitive place. After enough time in it it's easy to blend into the pattern of that repition so well that you start to feel invisible. Any shout that gets attention, positive or negative, at least makes it feel like you're distinct in the pattern.

kleinbl00  ·  2585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I have no doubts that you and I can find lots of interesting things to talk about. I also have no doubts that you and I, sitting in the same pace watching the same things, will find exotic, interesting and unusual things. The difference, I suspect, is that I'm not interested in the mundane for the most part so it doesn't affect my experience.

It sounds as if you are attempting to address an internal issue with an external approach. Nothing discussed here is about unleashing posts on a social network, it's about identity and experience. I think you'll find that introspection is the quieter, more rewarding path for the simple reason that it requires you to find the interesting bits, rather than dismissing what lies before you out of hand in pursuit of something more immediately shiny.

Isherwood  ·  2585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I appreciate it. I think, if this is the bar, I'm the guy who got a little too comfortable a little too quick, drank a little and shared a lot. My life is pretty good, just transitioning on many fronts and difficult to digest. It's good to know that this is a friendly place though.

kleinbl00  ·  2585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

the internet: where no one knows you're drunk

rezzeJ  ·  2585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Is that really worthwhile? Easy affirmations are like browsing the reddit defaults. Any morsels of positivity/entertainment you gain from them dissipate as quickly as they came and leave you perpetually seeking, never sufficed. It's better to seek value for what you say rather than the fact that you simply said something, anything.

    The world is a largely plain, boring, and repetitive place... Any shout that gets attention... makes it feel like you're distinct in the pattern.

You are the gatekeeper of you own experience. You define the pattern. If all those things are true for your life, I think it is mostly down to your own perspectives and actions, not any intrinsic properties of the world.

Isherwood  ·  2585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yeah, I understand that, and I have moved myself into a position that I like and worked to achieve. It's the practicalities of reality that eventually catch up to me. The fact that no matter how well intentioned or determined you are to produce variety in life, at some point you come across repetition. It's more a function of time than a qualitative statement, eventually life becomes patterned. I like my pattern for the most part, but there are still times I want to break out of it. If I really wanted to escape all of this, I would, but instead I can feed the tiny demon with a tiny affirmation.

That's the thinking at least.

dublinben  ·  2585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    The world is a largely plain, boring, and repetitive place.

Maybe your world is, but it doesn't have to be. You should not spend your life seeking external validation and affirmation. Live life for yourself on your own terms, not to make others happy or entertained.

tla  ·  2585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You're definitely not the only one to care about what people think of them.

There's a whole bazillion dollar industry dedicated to making sure that everyone worries about what people think of them (media). And another gazillion dollar industry that does quite well with the fallout (pharma).

Don't go worrying that you're engaging with society in the only way society has trained you to. It's sure as fuck not your fault.

Isherwood  ·  2585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It might not be my fault to be in this position, but it is my fault to stay in this position. I think the #kidstable tag sums it up pretty well, it's part of the transition from the attention seeking child state to a more stable and more subdued adult state. It's not a required transition, but it does open new option both within and without.

artis  ·  2585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I would say it's 'lifestyle marketing' rather than 'pharma' that deals with the fallout but I may be biased due to being somewhat emotionally stable due to the later.