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comment by tla
tla  ·  2872 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Trying and failing vs listening and learning

People can (and do) already filter out accounts less than 2 days old.

But you're also dealing with people who want somewhere they can participate. Sitting quiet is boring.

user-inactivated  ·  2863 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Sitting quiet is boring.

If sitting quiet is boring, you are doing it wrong. Sitting quiet, melding into the background, and watching the goings and happenings is what gives me a clue on the social hierarchy and a collective mindset of a place. Are their nature sounds? are there people on computers working? Are there those jerks who talk loudly on their phones? What music is playing? How well insulated are the walls? Are people having a group conversation, or are there groups of people talking to one-another in separate conversations?

Back in the day, if you joined a good forum, there were strong limits placed on you. You had to log in 10,15, even 30 days before you could talk. You had to read threads. You had to get a feel for the community before you jumped in. Some out there think this is not worth it; those people are wrong IMO. This type of newbe limiting forces a new person to get a feel of the community, get a feeling of belonging, and seriously weeds out the trolls. Snapzu is about the closest modern interpretation of that new-guy limitation. You have to get involved at a beginner level to get the feel of the place before you can really take part. There is one other benefit to this style of system. After the trial period, saying "Hi, I'm new here" means something. You are willing to be a part of the community, be a part of the conversations and are (probably) not a troll. It is a way to give new users a bit of heft in their introductions and first few postings so that they don't get immediately shouted down, down-voted and muted.

Maybe this goes with a general cultural shift that sees everyone as having an opinion, and everyone's opinion having equal weight. People are too busy trying to be heard that putting even a minor speed bump forcing people to listen is seen as a major transgression. I've talked in other threads that when someone says something that I think is off, offensive, wrong, or inappropriate I look through past conversations. The neat thing about an internet forum is that we get the ability to do this. If the poster has a history of being out there just for the Lulz, fine, mute. If the post was a failed attempt at a joke, fine, we all think we are funnier than we really are and jokes over text are hard anyway.

And if you think this is just me being nostalgic for days gone by remember that Isaac Newton wrote about those damn kids not listening, as did Socrates. This is not an age thing either. New people come in and see people talking, they see a community and want to be a part of it. That's good! New blood keeps places like this alive.


tla  ·  2863 days ago  ·  link  ·  

If sitting quiet is fine and dandy for you, good for you, you're fortunate. It must be nice to be so comfortable by default.

If I had to sit around here on hubski merely lurking, I would have left. No joke. I'd have assumed that everyone was ok with the guy who gradually escalated to spewing racist anti-woman violent rhetoric that y'all are harboring here, since he's still here, still shared, still circledotted etc. I mean seriously, his cherry-picking even gets praised for 'fighting the fight'.

Instead, by participating, I bothered to stay around long enough that I learned that most people don't actually want him here. So I stayed.

I mean, if you want people to self select away because of the sleeper trolls, then by all means, aim for the sleeper trolls.

You'll never know what you're missing out on.

Isherwood  ·  2872 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's a fact, sitting quiet is boring. Reading without participating is boring. But sometimes I wonder why I post shit stories for pixilated affirmations instead of sharing who I really am. When I try and fail I'm not sharing what I believe, I'm sharing things that might entice people enough to spread my name. To tell me my news is actually new. I'm trying to leave my mark on the world instead of letting the world leave a mark on me, and I wonder why. What's the point of connection if the only goal was proving it's possible.

Maybe I'm the only person who thinks this, but there's too many actions, too much evidence showing that I'm not.

I'll sleep now. And maybe I'll delete this in the sober morning.

rezzeJ  ·  2872 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  

'Sitting quiet' is boring only if you never taken the time to fully experience sitting quietly. There is more value and meaning to be found in considered silence than forced noise.

What is gained by reinforcing to everyone here that you do in fact exist?

Isherwood  ·  2872 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Easy affirmation. The world is a largely plain, boring, and repetitive place. After enough time in it it's easy to blend into the pattern of that repition so well that you start to feel invisible. Any shout that gets attention, positive or negative, at least makes it feel like you're distinct in the pattern.

kleinbl00  ·  2871 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I have no doubts that you and I can find lots of interesting things to talk about. I also have no doubts that you and I, sitting in the same pace watching the same things, will find exotic, interesting and unusual things. The difference, I suspect, is that I'm not interested in the mundane for the most part so it doesn't affect my experience.

It sounds as if you are attempting to address an internal issue with an external approach. Nothing discussed here is about unleashing posts on a social network, it's about identity and experience. I think you'll find that introspection is the quieter, more rewarding path for the simple reason that it requires you to find the interesting bits, rather than dismissing what lies before you out of hand in pursuit of something more immediately shiny.

Isherwood  ·  2871 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I appreciate it. I think, if this is the bar, I'm the guy who got a little too comfortable a little too quick, drank a little and shared a lot. My life is pretty good, just transitioning on many fronts and difficult to digest. It's good to know that this is a friendly place though.

kleinbl00  ·  2871 days ago  ·  link  ·  

the internet: where no one knows you're drunk

rezzeJ  ·  2872 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Is that really worthwhile? Easy affirmations are like browsing the reddit defaults. Any morsels of positivity/entertainment you gain from them dissipate as quickly as they came and leave you perpetually seeking, never sufficed. It's better to seek value for what you say rather than the fact that you simply said something, anything.

    The world is a largely plain, boring, and repetitive place... Any shout that gets attention... makes it feel like you're distinct in the pattern.

You are the gatekeeper of you own experience. You define the pattern. If all those things are true for your life, I think it is mostly down to your own perspectives and actions, not any intrinsic properties of the world.

Isherwood  ·  2872 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yeah, I understand that, and I have moved myself into a position that I like and worked to achieve. It's the practicalities of reality that eventually catch up to me. The fact that no matter how well intentioned or determined you are to produce variety in life, at some point you come across repetition. It's more a function of time than a qualitative statement, eventually life becomes patterned. I like my pattern for the most part, but there are still times I want to break out of it. If I really wanted to escape all of this, I would, but instead I can feed the tiny demon with a tiny affirmation.

That's the thinking at least.

dublinben  ·  2872 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    The world is a largely plain, boring, and repetitive place.

Maybe your world is, but it doesn't have to be. You should not spend your life seeking external validation and affirmation. Live life for yourself on your own terms, not to make others happy or entertained.

tla  ·  2872 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You're definitely not the only one to care about what people think of them.

There's a whole bazillion dollar industry dedicated to making sure that everyone worries about what people think of them (media). And another gazillion dollar industry that does quite well with the fallout (pharma).

Don't go worrying that you're engaging with society in the only way society has trained you to. It's sure as fuck not your fault.

Isherwood  ·  2872 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It might not be my fault to be in this position, but it is my fault to stay in this position. I think the #kidstable tag sums it up pretty well, it's part of the transition from the attention seeking child state to a more stable and more subdued adult state. It's not a required transition, but it does open new option both within and without.

artis  ·  2872 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I would say it's 'lifestyle marketing' rather than 'pharma' that deals with the fallout but I may be biased due to being somewhat emotionally stable due to the later.