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Yeah, I understand that, and I have moved myself into a position that I like and worked to achieve. It's the practicalities of reality that eventually catch up to me. The fact that no matter how well intentioned or determined you are to produce variety in life, at some point you come across repetition. It's more a function of time than a qualitative statement, eventually life becomes patterned. I like my pattern for the most part, but there are still times I want to break out of it. If I really wanted to escape all of this, I would, but instead I can feed the tiny demon with a tiny affirmation. That's the thinking at least.