I first wrote about this question almost two years ago. Since then it has had more hits than any other blog I've written. I felt that the question deserved another visit. I've laid out a pretty harsh answer to the question -- but it's not aimed at you hubski, it's aimed at all the women in the world who ask Google - should I lend my boyfriend money.
If you have to ask the internet if you should lend your boyfriend money then you shouldn't loan him money. If your boyfriend doesn't have a job you shouldn't loan him money or let him move in. If you can't afford to loan him money, or you have kids, you shouldn't loan him money and he shouldn't have asked. I generally go with a gut check when someone asks me for money. I've loaned out a few grand on several occasions and always got it back in short order. I've chose to not loan out a few grand to some friends, later on at least one of them said that I probably made the right choice. In the first year of dating my wife I loaned her a hefty amount and she promptly repaid, I think it was a good early trust building thing to do. Loaning money to people who won't pay it back can be a great way to get rid of people you don't want in your life but are having a hard time shaking off. Just ask where your money is every time you see them and they will stop coming around.
Great post because many of us, male or female have dealt with this question. I feel like you hit on the proper litmus test here:
She's now my wife and I've more than reciprocated financially (she may disagree :)) Point is, there can be situations that warrant it. My guess is that they are few and far in between. I would also guess that the guy/gal asking the question already knows the right answer but realizes its a difficult one. 9/10 times ------- just say "no". Good luck Edit: I just read cgod's comment here and it's fantastic advice.Will my loan genuinely get this person through a temporary bad patch, or am I setting up a long relationship of dependency?
I once had a girlfriend lend me $1500 to put a down payment on a car so I could get a higher paying job that required a reliable automobile.
A woman should never lend a man money bacause the will never appreciate. They will in fact think that you owe them and the ll keep asking you for more. In the end the relationship will be based on you giving him money.
That was a firm, but very helpful set of guiding questions for someone looking to the Internet for advice. Most people, when looking for advice, seek corroboration (Steinbeck), but this is the best advice I've seen. Hope people listen. :)