We've been casually looking for a house for like 6 months or so, mostly for fun and to understand the market in case we are ever able to afford something here. Well an absolute stunner of a house came up towards the top of our price range, so we reached out to the sellers agent to get disclosures and everything looked really solid so we found an agent (family recommended) to talk to and the agent was like "that's going to go for 30% or more over asking I won't even go through with helping you beyond a verbal offer" which like, she is probably right, but was a huge asshole about the whole thing. We aren't getting that place, we know that, but at least do your job and put in a formal offer. Don't be a gatekeeper and say no for the seller. So that's disappointing but not surprising. Oh well, something may come up or maybe the housing market will come crashing down and we can afford something even better in a year who knows!
There are more realtors in the US than houses for sale and have been since 2021. It's also not a difficult license to get; not one, not two, but three of my colleagues got their California realtors' licenses within a week of sitting at a console mixing idiots with nothing better to do. On top of that, California's real estate market is shady AF, with lots of unpermitted bullshit that gets winkwink nudgenudged, lots of kickbacks, lots of unpublished deals, etc. It's scumbags from stem to stern and the fact that every lazy producer on earth can make money by following these dipshits around with a camera crew as if they're Paris Hilton (the realtors pay for this shit, BTW) hasn't improved the outlook. You will never not encounter huge assholes in the California real estate market. You can be salty about that or you can recognize that they justify their existence by acting as flaks for each other in hopes of being invited to the feeding frenzy. Any dipshit walking in retail is going to be treated as poorly as you were, by every realtor out there, with absolutely no recourse. The only people I have ever met who are happy or successful in the California real estate market within the past fifteen years are either (A) wealthy AF and able to pay cash (B) acting as their own realtors and snatching distressed properties before anyone else sees them. It's a shitty system and no matter how egalitarian Zillow or Redfin makes it look, it's a lie.
I might recommend reaching out to the selling agent next time yourselves and let them know that you'd like them to represent you as well as the seller. Tell them your budget. They may talk the seller into taking it so their firm can double dip? I have been representing myself the last two houses I have sold. (We have moved a lot). This saves us a ton of money. Only thing you really need is a good appraiser and a good attorney for paperwork. The entire residential Realestate industry is SOOOO ripe for disruption. Very little value provided relative to the fees they charge. Edit: Best of luck in your quest. I hope you end up in a great place!!