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comment by lil
lil  ·  2834 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Today's Writing Prompt: Insignificance

rd95 wrote, "In the scope of the universe, we are mere atoms, but in the scope of our own lives, we are titanic."

  In the scope of the universe

we are mere atoms

insignificant

  In the face of beauty

we are mere onlookers

stupified, eyes wide

  In the presence of genius

we are mere midwives (if we are lucky)

delivering what they conceive

  In the shipyards of myself

I am Titanic moving

headlong into a glacier

sinking insignificant.





rezzeJ  ·  2834 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I love the flow from the infinite to the finite in this, and then the contrasts in the last stanza.

lil  ·  2834 days ago  ·  link  ·  

thx

I hate when people write disclaimers - but ... I can see places where I can make better word choices, along the lines of "stupified, eyes wide." Improvements encouraged.