What Calvin can’t see: He can’t see the small, pretty girl sitting opposite him, the one who is wearing little rows of red, yellow and blue barrettes shaped like airplanes in her braided hair. He can’t see the line of small, green plants growing in yellow pots all along the sunny window sill. And he can’t see Mrs. Jackson in her rose-pink suit and pink enameled earrings shaped like little swans. (“Were they really shaped like little swans?” he will ask later.) But Calvin can feel the warm spring breeze—invisible to everyone’s eyes, not just his—blowing through the window and he can hear the tapping of a young oak tree’s branches against the window. He can hear Mrs. Jackson’s pleasant, musical voice and, later, if you ask him what she looks like, he will say, “She’s nice.” A Boy of Unusual Vision -- indeed.Two p.m. Vivian Jackson’s class, Room 207.
I don't understand the point of the article, or I don't agree with her premise that parents try to gloss over the issue of beauty. From a very young age, babies already form preferences over what they are attracted to, in terms of facial features. I think the point of The Ugly Duckling story is that there is inner beauty. That's the same thing as saying that outer beauty is only one facet of a person's character. In the fairy tales, it's not that people grow up to be beautiful, it's that they grown up to appreciate the beauty on the inside. On the other hand, it's not necessary to be so candid about ugliness either. Unless it's an outlier case like the example of the guy she's writing about who has a birth deformity, the issue isn't all that clear cut. As the child grows and finds a bigger community, the child's looks may appeal to more people in the larger community.
I work with a girl who had the exact same tumor discussed. Hers was off to one side. I only know this because - having worked with her for nine years - she decided to post some childhood pictures a few weeks back. I'm sure it gave all of us an "aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!" sort of moment, because she's always looked different. And by different, I mean her eyes are different shapes, her face is asymmetrical, her nose has a grafted kinda look. Not gonna lie, though. I'd do her. There was a girl in my town whose face had been mauled by a dog. We thought her dress was too plain and conservative, we didn't like her glasses and her hair was frumpy but we all agreed she'd be hella hot if she tried. And, I mean, she couldn't smile straight. I can attest to the fact that Girl #2 did not have a particularly difficult middle or high school experience. Nobody ever said a thing. We all hung out on equal terms. However, her attire and demeanor were shy and she was difficult to talk to. I can't say boo about Girl #1's adolescence, but she's in her late '20s now and she's warm, outgoing, ebullient and really goddamn good at her job. She has a marvelous fashion sense and sophisticated tastes. In looking at her childhood pictures, it's clear that she went through hell getting rid of the tumor but that her parents didn't leave her at the hospital for five weeks. That kid - and her tumor - were loved and well-treated and while she probably would have had an interesting time trying to model mascara, she ain't "ugly." She's different. Ugly, as you say, comes from the inside.
Maybe, we need to be candid with children to recognize the human foible of over-emphasizing physical attractiveness, and mistakenly relating it to character judgements? We can pick up with Dr. Martin Luther King and stick with training kids to stick with evaluating the content of a person's character only.
Over emphasizing physical attractiveness is how you end up with a burnt down house and a hot ex girlfriend. It's not some evolved trait we hold, it is very much a weakness. People are going to have preferences but it shouldn't blind them from the other characteristics somebody possesses. That's what they mean by over emphasizing.
I get that is the point they were trying to make but it didn't really fit with the comment being responded too. That one was pretty clearly talking about the weakness or "foible" of over-emphasizing physical attractiveness which isn't something we are helpless to overcome. Dating an asshole or crazy person just because they are attractive is an awful idea yet people do it all the time. It's not a moral failing either, it's just very short-sighted.