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comment by throwmeawayhubski
throwmeawayhubski  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What is your big accomplishment for the week?

I cheated on my husband. It was amazing. I feel happier and I will do it again. I am nicer to him, more alive than I have been in a while and I want to feel this way all the time. It's better for everyone, and I think I can keep my marriage together like this.





thenewgreen  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I am nicer to him,
-Actually, it is likely that you've never been more cruel.
throwmeawayhubski  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·  

As long as he doesn't find out then it will never matter.

zouhair  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Exactly, that's how life works. You can hurt people, make fun of them, turn them into jokes but as long as they are not aware it's all ok.

amouseinmyhouse  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·  

In my gut I have some moral problem with this statement but I can't articulate it logically.

syzo  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·  

My heart broke reading this, and i don't even know you two. Tell him.

tacocat  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I think I can keep my marriage together like this.

I guess if you're like the Solid Snake of marital infidelity, otherwise it sounds like a great way to end the marriage.

throwmeawayhubski  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Sorry. I looked up what Solid Snake is and I'm not into video games so I don't get it.

tacocat  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·  

He's a spy who doesn't get caught

HairyLenny  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Speaking as someone who has been in your husband's shoes, unless he's into hotwifing or something similar, he's definitely not going to be as happy about this as you are. You know how good you're feeling? Multiply it by a hundred and make it a negative, that's how it feels from the other side. The are better ways of saving your marriage than betrayal.

throwmeawayhubski  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't plan for him to find out, and I'm not going to tell him just because I feel guilty. There's no guilt yet actually. I'm not having emotional relationships, just casual sex. Every time that the husband or wife gets told that they were cheated on it's not for their benefit. It's just that the cheater wanted to feel better. I won't be doing that.

HairyLenny  ·  3417 days ago  ·  link  ·  

No, I was told by someone else as confirmation after I had figured it out. He will find out one way or another. And it will break him. He will probably be able to get himself back together again, but there's a strong possibility you won't be there to see that.

I'm happy for you that you don't feel guilty, that must make it a lot easier for you to look him in the eye. But the fact it's just casual sex and not an emotional relationship will make absolutely no difference to him.

You aren't just destroying your marriage, you're destroying his social circle too. He won't know who knew, who helped cover it up, and worse, who he can trust. He may never recover. I have one friend from before my ex-wife's infidelity. One. Sure I see most of the others every so often. I can smile and joke with them. But I no longer see them as friends and do not trust them.

Just because you get a kick out of something and think you can cover it up; it doesn't mean it's okay to do it.

illu45  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I posted this in reply to your other comment, but I thought I'd ask it again here:

Have you talked to your husband about the mismatch in your libidos? If so, how did that conversation go? Mismatched libidos are not uncommon, nor are they easy to solve, but they can be worked through if both parties are willing to do so. It sounds like a relationship or sexual therapist might be very useful for you both, if you're able to get one.

EDIT: You might find this Reddit comment worth reading

OftenBen  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Definitely a good use for this account.

user-inactivated  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Just to be clear, this is not the community throwaway that I made. This is someone else's private throwaway. The community one was killed. RIP ThrowMeAway1. At least they kind of followed the naming convention.

OftenBen  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You grok my vibe though, right?

user-inactivated  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yes. Especially because there was a lot of negative commenting regarding her choices. I live in a very glass house and so I try not to throw stones, but I do think that it's strange that in the other thread people were more encouraging. Before the fact no one was in rage that she was thinking about it but now that she is done it everyone is heartbroken for the husband.

user-inactivated  ·  3418 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Holy shit. Congrats I guess.

EDIT: If anyone wants to tag this #anonymityexperiment it would be appreciated. I can't do it since it's my post.