Hot damn, people, it's f'ing Saturday and nobody's got anything up? for shame

So check it. I'n'I made a pork loin. It's stupid easy, stupid cheap and stupid delicious. The total meal cost is like $16 and it feeds like 7 people. There's all sorts of fancy _wageraging boojie shit but the actual food is crazy cheap.

We be makin' Allrecipes' rubbed and grilled pork loin. Worse than that, the recipe is by the National Pork Council. So hail corporate and all that but it's fuckin' delicious.

Hello porkness my old friend

Now - you don't have to cut off the fat. But I do. Because I don't like to eat it. It probably makes it moister and shit but this sucka's plenty moist.

One thing that is worth doing: Truss that sucka. As in, wad it up into as football-like a shape as you can. PROTIP: there is nothing that makes you feel quite so accomplished in the workshop as running out of solder, and nothing that makes you feel quite so accomplished in the kitchen as running out of kitchen twine. Therefore, truss with abandon.

We must now mix up our spices. If you read the recipe, you'll notice it's pretty much sugar, two kinds of cheap-ass seasoned salt, cheap-ass paprika, cheap-ass chili powder and coriander.

I keep my coriander whole. Then I grind it. It's laborious.

Mix that shit up

Now you get messy. Take off rings, watches, anything you don't want to be gross. 'cuz you're rubbing the roast down with olive oil and then sprinkling your spices on it and then spreading it around with your hands. in-process pictures not provided because I don't want my Canon to smell like paprika forever.

You can let it sit like that. Or not. Because I had a shit ton to do today, I rubbed the meat, then went to pick up my daughter, then got the mail, then folded some laundry, then started the warfare. So spices sat on it for like 3 hours. yum.

The recipe calls for all sorts of fru-fru direct/indirect bullshit. To be honest? I hit it on high for 10 minutes a side (as in, top and bottom) with the lid on then on low for 15-20 minutes a side until it hits 165.

(behold: crazy-stupid-cool grill. "High" is stupid hot; "low" is "medium" on my old grill.)

Note that this can be done on charcoal just as easily. It can probably be done on an old shopping cart and some busted up pallets. It's a bomb-proof recipe.

But it's also only meat. So we're going to take our $0.33/lb russets, scrub 'em down, cover 'em in olive oil then sprinkle with salt and pepper:

Ahhhhhh.

So your cooking time will vary. Note that in here I had to feed my kid, put her in the bath, then deal with her mom wanting to Skype in the middle of it, then get her in jamies, then read her three stories, then put her to bed, then tell my wife I was too involved in cooking to talk to her at the moment. In between, the roast hit 165, the potatoes were done through, and I turned that shit off and let it sit out in the barbecue for a while. Was it a disaster as a consequence?

HELL NAH

This is 4 lb roast and like 8 potatoes. 3 lbs and 6 potatoes went downstairs to our friends who just had twins like 3 days ago. Here's half the rest, with potatoes, Tillamook cheddar, chives from the window box and apple sauce:

Here's all that and $600 in crystal because when in doubt, tart it up.

(Because when you have a full set of Arnolfo di Cambio Cibi that you bought on eBay for a song, show it off whenever you can. Why? Because Blade Runner)

GAUNTLET THROWN