lil, can you clarify what is meant by "relationship" - i.e., when you (believe you) have both accepted titles of "boyfriend/girlfriend," or when monogamy vs. non-monogamy is discussed and agreed upon, or etc? When terms are set? My last long-term relationship, or my last one-night stand? (I figure most people learn more about themselves from the former than the latter.)
You define. If the last one-nighter led to an icky feeling, we'll learn that maybe we're not the one-night stand type. If the one-nighter led to a great enduring friendship, we learn that we're a good judge of character. We potentially learn from everything. Mostly I had in mind a break-up that creates some painful feelings -- as in -- I don't want to feel this way again -- what can I take away from this, what can I learn that will help me make future choices? Is that any clearer?