That question is part of why I tagged this with "grrlski". Going to mull over that question a bit more before responding. Got too caught up in the SU-Duke basketball game and now I'm too worked up to give a good response to anything. Okay, now that I'm sufficiently calm (thanks Astronautalis) and have had some time to think. I think that that question is something that occurs very often in society. Look at how the double standard between guys who have a lot of sex and girls who have a lot of sex. In general, one is highly regarded and the other is disparaged. Men are allowed to have as many partners as they want with impunity, but women are subjected to being derided or looked down upon for the same thing. Another aspect to the repression of female sexuality is the culture surrounding female nudity. People are much more comfortable being subjected to depictions of violence through movies, video games, etc. But the possibility of female nudity is somehow worse than that. Obviously for this part I'm referring almost entirely to North America. I do think that part of this is the viewing of the female body as a sexual object, and the dichotomy of nudity that exists all around the world. Meanwhile, in countries in the middle east where woman are forced to cover their forces is the extreme version of that question you have posed. Additionally, all of the above can attempt to be rationalized or excused by people other than the woman herself. I know I've observed people trying to excuse others sexual behavior as a matter of fact and it's rarely provided an answer of "well, it's her body and we should respect that".Love this. Great depiction of a terribly harmful social norm. As far as the patriarchy bit, she lets us come to our own conclusions -- what does hubski think about "It terrifies us to even fathom that a woman could take ownership of her body" for example?
Is it weird that I almost think the opposite? In my opinion, in the 21st century men almost have a sort of responsibility not to sleep around because there exists a stereotype and we should subvert it. I respect the hell out of guys who are in long stable relationships, or at least I don't disrespect them because they aren't sleeping with tons of people all the time. Not to say I judge anyone for the amount of sex they have, because there's not "only so much sex in any one" man (my favorite bit of the article; spot on). And then on the flip side after examining what I think about all this I find that I sort of respect girls who sleep around a lot. Same reason -- they're refusing to let societal stereotypes dictate their actions. So it leads to an odd reversal of the double standard. I'm drunk and rambling a bit, but still. I'm never sure what to say when I encounter the idea that you mention -- slut shaming vs. male non-slut shaming. Kind of, "what the hell?" Obviously a real thing but oughtn't we be getting to a more enlightened place soon?Look at how the double standard between guys who have a lot of sex and girls who have a lot of sex. In general, one is highly regarded and the other is disparaged. Men are allowed to have as many partners as they want with impunity, but women are subjected to being derided or looked down upon for the same thing.
I think that if you are a girl, and you like sex, and you don't mind or even like having multiple partners, it can be hard to deal with society's opinion of this. As a result I can understand why you might feel respect for those girls. It's hard to face up to societal expectations, which often manifest in people's opinions and very vocal ones at that, and say "So what? This is who I am and what I like." Often, you have to do that sort of thing continuously. I feel like those girls who manage to do both (have lots of sex with multiple partners enjoyable, and bite their thumb at society at the same time) are strong women. They've decided or found out what they like and even though society is going to give them a hard time for it, fuck society. And good for them for feeling comfortable being themselves - or, more accurately, making the world deal with who they are as people and not letting themselves get browbeaten into "safe" stereotypes. find that I sort of respect girls who sleep around a lot
I think either gender faces sanctions when they flaunt their digressions from the norm. It isn't women who have a lot of sex with multiple partners that face blowback; it's women that visibly have a lot of sex with multiple partners. And while men face different stigmas, they still face stigmas - man-whores don't get invited to family barbecues. A society based on family units will recognize the need of men (and, to a much lesser extent, women) to "sow their wild oats" but positions of responsibility invariably go to the stable. It's the "bite their thumb at society" part that always gets people in trouble. No one gives a shit what you do behind closed doors unless you're running for office but as soon as you bring it out onto the porch, all of a sudden everyone's got an opinion.
A maxim. And fuck them and theirs, haters gon hate p.s. please tell me if that link works, I had to copy it funnyeither gender faces sanctions when they flaunt their digressions from the norm.
all of a sudden everyone's got an opinion
I haven't encountered many people that feel that they have that responsibility. If anything I've met many who want to sleep around with as many people as possible and get annoyed if they don't "score" on a given weekend (needless to say, these are people that I'm not friends with). My college has a "slut-walk" every year to raise awareness to the idea of slut-shaming and the double-standard surrounding it. While the purpose is to raise awareness, I think it's mostly a useless exercise since it doesn't actually open a discourse to discuss these ideas and why they exist.
> Look at how the double standard between guys who have a lot of sex and girls who have a lot of sex. In general, one is highly regarded and the other is disparaged. Up to a point. There is also a point where a guy who literally sleeps with anything become an object of ridicule and significantly less attractive to discriminating women. Sure - he can probably do 100 woman compared to a woman doing 10 men for the same judgment, but the stigma still exists.