My mother told me something which has stuck with me to this day: You don't find your soulmate, you become someone's soulmate.
I don't think there is one perfect person out there for every person. However, I fail to see how it is unreasonable to say there IS one person out there that is the most perfect and compatible person you will ever meet in your life. You may meet a lot of other people that you can love and potentially marry, but there is one person, for whatever reason, that you get along the best with and feel most comfortable with.
no. it's not like human relationships are static monolithic closures that spring forth fully-formed when two people meet. they're not quantifiable or even easily comparable. people change over time, their needs and desires change over time, and as they explore themselves and learn from each other and make mistakes or amends they build and damage relationships. preferences will shift with all of these. there is no "best" person who can synchronize perfectly with your changing self, and even if there were, it wouldn't be a healthy relationship, it would be more like slavery. people who have been as close to me as anyone ever got are now as distant as possible. some folks that i used to think i could never spend much time with are even closer to me now, and our future together seems inevitable. it's not that some weren't "for me" and it's not that any of them are the "best", or even necessarily "better". the ones who are gone now aren't even incompatible with me as i am now. it's just that over time some relationships either connected or became unsustainable.
what minimum_wage said, and then I ask: Why? Why just one person? Because their personality compliments every aspect of yours? With so many people on this planet, isn't it very possible that people exist with very similar personalities, and so if there is one person whose personality manages to compliment every aspect of yours at the time that you find them, can't we assume that there are probably others out there as well? Sure, everyone is a special snowflake down to their very last hangnail but what if, sometimes, it's only that hangnail that differentiates one person from the next?there is one person, for whatever reason, that you get along the best with and feel most comfortable with.
If you were able to set up some measures of what it means to "get along" or "be compatible" with someone, then I think it stands to reason that there is someone out there that will fulfill those metrics more than anyone else can. That said, as you change, grow, mature, digress etc they may not be #1 anymore. But I do think it's possible that someone out there exists that is the most compatible for you at a given time. I think chasing this idea is dangerous because it's not quantifiable. forwardslash's mother is right, 'you don't find your soulmate, you become someone's soulmate." -Great words of wisdom Mrs. / A piece of wisdom from me to anybody that is searching: When you are dating someone and it's at the beginning, if there is anything about that person that bothers you or gets your goat, just know that this will not subside, it will likely only magnify. If you can see yourself being okay with the magnification, then stick with it. Otherwise, bail. I see too many people stick in bad relationships that had clear-cut warning signs at the outset. -Especially when these things revolve around values.
But are we also willing to acknowlege that this measure is only going to have personal meaning for you? Some people like relationships with a lot of conflict*, some people like relationships with none. Clearly, what it means to "get along" with someone varies widely from person to person. That is good advice though tng, I won't argue with you on that. *using conflict as humanodon would mean it, not necessarily big screaming fights where we're throwing lamps at each other, but pushback, perhaps, disagreements, places where you don't see eye to eye - am I understanding it correctly humano?If you were able to set up some measures of what it means to "get along" or "be compatible" with someone, then I think it stands to reason that there is someone out there that will fulfill those metrics more than anyone else can.
Lots o' naysayers on here, so I'm gonna jump in on your side. I've been through a number of failed relationships, but hope springs eternal. I agree that even if the concept of 'soulmate' is flawed, that there still can be a singular person whom you're so attracted to, and whom you get along with so well, that you're willing to forsake all others. I know this is true, because I've seen other people, friends and family, have this experience. Not that that means that you'll never fight, or desire another sexual partner, or whatever else might come up, but just that your desire for that individual trupms all of those other things. I do think that exists if you want it to. Certainly if that's not your life philosophy then it wouldn't ever work.