Teenager here. I can't bike down the street at night and throw pebbles at a girl's window, nor can I sneak out of the house in the dark and go to the party down by the lake. These teenage movie utopias are not a reality-- at least not today. I don't see my friends out of school, and if I do it's in the basement of a pair of ignorant parents, and I'm wading through vomit and unconscious white kids. Otherwise, I'm sitting at home, swimming in the fears, anxieties, and responsibilities of the modern kid. We're studying all day to be pushed into the 'real world' with a sticker saying "I successfully followed orders." Drugs, alcohol, parties, they're media for escape. Hanging out has been diluted to a chance to get the fuck out of the house. I genuinely feel like I have no choice but to message my friend on Facebook instead of meeting for lunch. Our life, our school system does not give us the time and opportunity to discover and interact with the world. It gives us busy work to stay out of trouble and focus on our priorities. By that I mean, the priorities we were assigned. So, cue the internet. A reflection of the real world in its hulking, gargantuan entirety. Fast. Really fast. Ideas thoughts data flowing in and out 24 hours a day, subcultures springing up like mushrooms and
a community for everyone. Freedom. The Real World, and the icing on the cake is that its sitting in my lap, covered by my bio textbook. The answer is, it doesnt matter that the internet is easier than the coffee shop.It's simply that the internet is everything, its all of it, and with our friends constantly signed in, we can pretend its all we could possibly want. I don't think you can deny the disparity in online communication in comparison to looking someone in the face. There's nothing quite like talking to somebody, in fact the very act of typing in a chat is the use of text as a substitution and representation of actual speech. It's not the same, and us 'teenagers' know that. But the pace of the world isn't going to skip a beat for us to fit in an hour or two for the movies. If it ever does, you bet we'll seize the chance and go overboard and get shitfaced at aparty instead, every single time. In the mean time, we'll be checking our notifications.
Dude, life is about choices. If you want to sneak out of the house and hang out with friends till the sun comes up, then I say do it. This is the biggest joke that will be ever played on you: The real world is indifferent to your school-aged 'accomplishments'. I barely graduated public high school (while disobeying as many directives from my supposed superiors as I possibly could--sometimes just for the fun of it), and I have an awesome life now at age 31. I literally couldn't ask for anything more than I have. And I did it all on my own terms. The founder of this site, mk, has a saying (and it's the main philosophy of Hubski in general), "Each of us helps to create the world we live in." (Or something similar.) Fuck the world you're given; make it up as you go. Or, as Cat Stevens wrote, "If you want to sing out, sing out, and if you want to be free, be free." The internet can be informative, engaging, educational, and many other good things, but it's not fucking freedom. Don't confuse the them. Live, son. That's good advice.We're studying all day to be pushed into the 'real world'...
I'm a teenager too, and I would love to be "free" like you describe, but what could I do with my freedom? None of my friends equally yearn to attain such freedom, or if they do, they don't let on that they do, possibly due to societal pressure. Society feels like it's structured like a series of obstacles preventing me from doing whatever I want, and I feel like I'd be alone, like Clarisse McClellan taking a walk by herself. I don't see the Internet as freedom, but I don't see other options available. Then there's also the issue of short-term gains. Isn't getting into the best college I can the best way for me to have a successful life? Do I want to have the most fun in my life as a teenager? I know that you think that being successful later in life and having fun as a teenager aren't mutually exclusive, but perhaps your case is an exception? But then, I guess the definition of success is dependent on the mindset of the successful individual. Happiness is a mindset, as they say, not something to be achieved. But to me, success is the achievement of the goals you've set, and for me to achieve my goals, I need to get into a really good college (I think), or else I will have denied myself opportunities to go down the road I want to take, working for a (and founding my own) startup, or an equally exciting tech company. Indeed, one of my goals is to be financially independent enough to do whatever I'd like. I wish there was a way for me to be able to do whatever I'd like right now without disrupting the path to achieving my goals, but there just isn't. It sucks, but that's reality as I see it.
In my opinion, your position is entirely rational and is probably the best reflection of the conditions on the ground. That said, parents have, for generations, given kids the impression that if they don't do everything exactly right they will be thrown into the Pit of Despair and it's just not true. In part, it's parental nervousness - you don't want your kids to limit their own options. In part, it's a reflection of the diminished insight and increased aggression of adolescents (not their fault - there really is one last organic re-jiggering of the synapses during adolescence that explains a lot of teen behavior). In any event, yeah it's good not to limit your options. At the same time, they're options, not The FateHammer. Flagamuffin is right - fear debt. However, debt often means opportunity. A balance can be struck. You're gonna be fine, yo.
I don't think so. The only thing exceptional about me is that I recognized at a much earlier age than most people that you're continually lied to as a kid. I went to a university that no one's ever heard of after going to community college for two years, and I have a better career going that many people who went to Ivy league schools to become scientists. It's all about taking the bull by the horns and going after what you want. No one is going to look at your resume, see you went to Stanford, and hand you a job. Because nobody gives a fuck in the real world. People are going to meet you, and judge you as a person. All that said, the best reason to go to a reputable school is to get better business contacts. That's something that's hard to replicate at a small, unknown, not-so-selective university.I know that you think that being successful later in life and having fun as a teenager aren't mutually exclusive, but perhaps your case is an exception?
AHHHH Attend the university that is the best combination of cheap and accredited -- and then never think about the other alternatives. Fear debt.Then there's also the issue of short-term gains. Isn't getting into the best college I can the best way for me to have a successful life?
Yes, and well managed debt can lead to great credit which is FAR more important than anyone young ever realizes. -At least I didn't.
Mmm, that's true of course, but "do some research before taking on debt" isn't how young college students choose which beyond-their-means college they're going to attend. Investing in debt is all well and good when you have a job or a financial base to fall back on. Most young accruers of debt -- I'd imagine 99 percent -- do it for the wrongest of reasons. There are also other ways to have a good credit score.
I think you have a good basis for your argument. Debt gets out of hand very easily. I got two credit cards between the age of 19 and 22 - thank god the card I got at 19 only had a $500 limit because that was maxed and stayed maxed for a very long time. I mean, don't get me wrong, I made my payments regularly and so on - even when I lost my job and had no employment for several months, and I was very proud of the fact that I managed to make all those payments (still am) - but when you have, say, a $2,500 limit card, it does feel like you have just a little extra cash lying around and you can "splurge." Suddenly a week of splurging becomes $500 or more on a card - I am not great at going from one extreme to another, so "a splurge just for today" becomes "I'm used to spending extra money" - similar problems with food - and then before you know it both your cards are nearly at their limit, or whatever. This is especially hard when you are especially young, although the CARD Act should help with some of this. There are other ways to have a good credit score, but few are as simple as maintaining a credit card, if you have the ability and financial responsbility to do so.