a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by b_b
b_b  ·  3980 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Will we ever discover new emotions?

    ...do we know every possible emotion and it's a matter of the combination, intensity, and cause of the emotion?

I don't think that humans collectively will turn up any new emotions, but to individuals, I think there are always new ones to be discovered. Even in my 30s, I have times when I feel a way that I've never felt before about this or that, both for negative and positive feelings. Obviously, we can't really impart our feelings to others, so although I know others have felt as I feel before, it's impossible to get the gist of a feeling through another's description. A feeling is purely qualitative; that is why we respect writers so much who have the ability to convey feeling through words, I suspect, because it's as if they've put themselves in our shoes and are able to tell the world exactly how we feel.





_refugee_  ·  3980 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Can we ask for any specific examples if they're not too personal?

b_b  ·  3980 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Not at all.

On the negative side, I recently got the experience of finding out how it feels to have a girlfriend of 4.5 years, who lived with me, and whom I supported financially and emotionally for quite a long time, fuck at least one other dude, possibly several, but she's too chickenshit to ever tell me the truth. Not that I care at this point. That was several months ago, and I'm not angry anymore. But at the time it was the lowest low I've ever felt.

On the upside, I have a couple nieces who are young (one is 19 months, and the other is 4 months) who show me new meanings of the word love pretty much everyday. I have no idea how rewarding it must be to have kids, because even having nieces, I never knew that I could care about a human as much as I do them. They are nothing but joy to me, especially the older one now that she's getting to an age where she's beginning to talk and loves to play and such.

Neither of these experiences were known to me (viscerally) before I had them personally. You can hear a million songs about how much it sucks when your girl is a terrible whore, and what a gift it is to love someone wholly, but if you don't know what it's like, then you don't know what it's like.

humanodon  ·  3980 days ago  ·  link  ·  

On the bright side, it sounds like you have yet to experience that particular suspicion that your girl might be an actual prostitute, or the feeling of accepting and being ok with it . . .

_refugee_  ·  3979 days ago  ·  link  ·  

If this has happened to you, I'd love to hear about it...

b_b  ·  3979 days ago  ·  link  ·  

No shit. Me too.

Although, maybe it has happened to me. My ex certainly didn't have a problem spending my money. And all I really got in return was occasional, boring sex. If that's not a whore, I guess I don't know what one is! Who knows what she got out of her other dudes on the side. I'm pretty sure they were all losers, though, so I don't think it was monetary.

louderwords  ·  3979 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Sorry to hear about the negative, but happy to hear about the upside. You're right, there really is no substitute for experiencing an emotion firsthand.

I agree that capturing those kinds of experiences is why good writers, musicians, filmmakers, and other artists receive so much adoration. You've also helped strengthen my belief that a mark of a true artist, or at least one people adore and love, is a strong sense of empathy.