- Perfect has been the way to be for several generations of women. I don’t remember my grandmothers suffering from this syndrome: women who raised families during the Depression, who baked and gardened and read well; who were fundamentally happy, and felt no pressure to look like stick figures. But those Mad Men years took their toll.
I can understand this pressure. In my old line of work, sometimes clients would invite me out for drinks as a sort of informal, but important interview. I do know some women who can really put their drinks away, but I have almost always seen women who go drink for drink with men who are also big drinkers, end more poorly for the woman. Part of it is the difference in body size, I think. But I also think that often when en see women going drink for drink with them, they tend to push it a bit (or a lot) further than they normally do, as it can easily turn into a competitive thing. I do find this article to be very interesting though and I would like to see a similar article with the focus on women who are young professionals now. I've encountered quite a few young women who have told me soon after meeting them that for one reason or another that they are not interested in having children at all. While I would like to think that my palpable virility is the reason this comes up, I very much doubt that this is the reason I've been hearing this more often. From what I gather, living with two sources of income and focusing on career and life as a couple is a very attractive thing to some people, for obvious reasons, but I wonder if part of it is in reaction to the experiences they had with their own mothers.As Jennifer makes clear, prosperity has presented options that didn't exist for other generations. Professional women join their male counterparts after work, going drink for drink. Going drink for drink can be problematic, to say the least.
I went to a dinner with a group we were doing work with. It was technically post meeting work but became obvious it was going to be a big party without the wives. They were all older, married and just made a metric buttload of money and were looking to celebrate rather than just have dinner and a couple drinks. I felt extremely out of place and while they congratulated me for "keeping up with the big boys" I was secretly pouring half of every drink out in the bathroom sink. Such a poor waste of great cocktails but I would've been out cold on the couch if I had drank as fast as they were. I am very aware of how much I drink and who I am with and what the plans are when I drink. I got extremely intoxicated in Detroit but mainly because I knew whatever happened, everyone I was with would take good care of me. I wouldn't have acted the same way or let go or drank nearly as much with people I didn't know or if I didn't have a set ride and true friends around. I stick to two beers max during business dinners. Otherwise I talk way too much.
I feel like "keeping up with the big boys" is another iteration "man up" which I'm not a fan of. Cutting loose is one thing and yeah, everyone that drinks ends up having one too many sometimes, but I think it's respectable to know and state one's limits in regard to drink. In a culture where refusing to drink is not generally seen as a refusal of hospitality or as disrespect, there is no reason to drink in excess, though the soft pressures might suggest or intimate otherwise. That said, the last time I was compelled to drink by the pressures of hospitality, I got into was one of icy politeness and quiet victory, followed by vomiting on an expensive car. Drinking is supposed to be about enjoyment and satisfaction. Leave it to people to pollute the simple concepts.I felt extremely out of place and while they congratulated me for "keeping up with the big boys" I was secretly pouring half of every drink out in the bathroom sink. Such a poor waste of great cocktails but I would've been out cold on the couch if I had drank as fast as they were.
Just another example of the feminist craze this country is experiencing.