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comment by Isherwood
Isherwood  ·  11 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: March 13, 2019

we're on month 18 of trying to start a family. Medical intervention started at month 12 and if things don't happen this month then we're going to start much more intense medical stuff. It's a really weird situation to be in - the mix of taboo and rarity, combined with being the gender that it "shouldn't effect" and the fact that I'm not great with my feelings make it hard to deal with.

I'm also building a greenhouse - so that's cool.

I still need to figure out some aspects of the footer, mostly how to minimize contact and potential rot, how to make a drain under it, and how to deal with the roof, but those are all fun challenges.




steve  ·  11 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    It's a really weird situation to be in - the mix of taboo and rarity, combined with being the gender that it "shouldn't effect" and the fact that I'm not great with my feelings make it hard to deal with.

I'm glad you can share here. It's a strange culture where this subject is at all taboo. I'm sorry for your struggles. Some very good friends have dealt and are dealing with fertility issues... I guess what I can say is... I'm sorry, and you're not alone, and... we're here for you.

Isherwood  ·  11 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Thanks, I kind of reached a breaking point last month and I'm just bringing it up as much as I can. It makes a lot of people feel awkward, but I figure that's just part of making it acceptable. Plus, a bunch of people will talk to my wife about it because she's a woman, which she's super over, but not me because dudes don't talk about it. I'm getting in the habit of inserting myself in those conversations, which is interesting in its own right.

steve  ·  11 days ago  ·  link  ·  

people sometimes think "oh cool man - that's just MOAR SEX! you must be loving it!"

They don't realize the strange and disheartening aspects of the mechanization of the sex act. It takes an intimate and sacred experience and turns it on it's ear (and not in a fun way).

I'm glad you're talking about it and walking into the conversation. You're wise to confront it.

goobster  ·  11 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Buy a couple of Trex boards for the bottom. They are made of plastic and won't rot. But Trex is not good for lateral strength. So use them at the bottom where things may get wet, and use regular wood above it.

Good luck with the baby-making!

kleinbl00  ·  11 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I've had several friends go through in-vitro. My wife performs IUI. What I can tell you is that you'll forget everything you're going through now as soon as it takes. And it will almost certainly take. And it will be worth it.

You can minimize rot by using plastic or mason block. You can also take comfort in the fact that if you build it right, you can fix it. My father-in-law's greenhouse is 40 years old; I helped him replace some panels and the footers when it was 37. Keep us posted.

Isherwood  ·  11 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Thanks.

And I'm building it on a weird pseudo-sidewalk in our backyard that is the remnant of a filled in pool. It makes a great foundation, so I think I'll use that, build a plywood floor, and use mason block to level out the parts over earth. There's also a huge sump pump well that I'm trying to re purpose into some kind of rain barrel, but that's a much bigger engineering issue.

kleinbl00  ·  11 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Why a plywood floor? Why any floor? You want to be able to water with wild abandon and turn the place into happy splashy fun zone. If you use semi-porous concrete you'll keep the humidity up.

Isherwood  ·  11 days ago  ·  link  ·  

There's that well off to the left (not pictured) the cap of which isn't quite flush with the foundation. I think I need to raise the whole thing to account for that height difference, so I figured I would add a floor. But I could probably accomplish the same thing with a ramp. Then I could fill the dirt in with rocks and make a primitive french drain.

kleinbl00  ·  11 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'll also point out that unless those windows are near-free it'll work out to be cheaper to buy a greenhouse kit. Grower's Supply will happily send you a lust-inducing catalog.

Isherwood  ·  11 days ago  ·  link  ·  

oh yeah, I'm building it because we just got new windows and those are the old ones they took out. 100% free.

I am, however, trying to figure out the roof, which I'll have to buy, and this site looks great for that. I really want the steep side that face the sun to be able to lift for air flow, but that might be too much for this project.

HGL  ·  8 days ago  ·  link  ·  

My casual observations in no real order.

They make actuators with a fluid that passively expands when it gets hot for greenhouse applications. Kind of pricey but really cool. Also think about the edges of the window, idk what yours look like are they channels or some other shape that will trap moisture and mold?

You will want an upper beam thats not in the sketch on the roof, that will prevent the panels from taking a bunch of shear load.

You are missing a window retention ledge i think, those windows will take a ton of load, you will want a strip of wood or something to distribute load into them.

You probably have too many windows, you don't need that many since at least 1 side will very little sun.

Figure out what the available angles are for metal roof brackets at the hardware stores. Use one of those if not using one already.

The center span will sag way too much. Youll want to put posts every 24" or closer. 4 post wont cut it with that long of a span.

Isherwood  ·  4 days ago  ·  link  ·  

So good. I'll take this into account, but I think the greenhouse got back burnered. We found a squirrel's nest in our shed and a ton of holes chewed through the eves. That'll probably take precedence.

kleinbl00  ·  11 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Got any books? 'cuz dollars to donuts, your local library has at least two books about building your own greenhouse.

Don't even get me started on the timesuck that is Pinterest.