I believe the phrase is, "A dick is worth a thousand words." Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values. It is important here not to confuse value judgments and moralistic judgments. All of us make value judgments as to the qualities we value in life; for example, we might value honesty, freedom, or peace. Value judgments reflect our beliefs of how life can best be served. - Marshall Rosenberg Other than that, welcome back? I promise, the need for belonging won't be fulfill by opening with a judgement. Analyses as evidence are just as vindictive as the statement. But, if you must indulge, feel free to ignore this comment entirely.You're being a dick.
One kind of life-alienating communication is the use of moralistic judgments that imply wrongness or badness on the part of people who don’t act in harmony with our values. Such judgments are reflected in language: “The problem with you is that you’re too selfish.” “She’s lazy.” “They’re prejudiced.” “It’s inappropriate.” Blame, insults, put-downs, labels, criticism, comparisons, and diagnoses are all forms of judgment.
Frankly, I don't give a damn about the rest. I trust those two will be capable, discerning adults to discuss the content at hand - which is what taco's comment boiled down to - rather than sling shit at one another... or not. What I'm not okay with is seeing a familiar name disappear into the abyss without a heads up only to find out there was a disagreement with similar context. What I'm not okay with is seeing what seems to be the same cycle repeat itself after your extended break.
What I'm not okay with is seeing people care only when shit hits the fan. I believe it's most people's default attitude to see oneself as a whole, level individual. I don't have that luxury. My head is brimming with thoughts of how flawed, how ugly and how miserable of a person I am. On some level, I want to believe them, 'cause it would make the game that much easier: if I am that terrible of a person, then all the bad signs I see are correct and there's no need to interpret them. Then I'm an asshole, truly and sincerely. Then I'm useless, in the most basic, existential sort of way. So when shit hits the fan, suicide is on the list. It's a way out of all the shit I've accumulated through no fault of my own. I want to make things better, but there's layers upon layers of fuckedness that I need to unfold first. But... I have maybe a week's worth of food stacked around the house. I have a bit more than 200 rubles - about $3.5 - to my name. I have no job, no savings, no rainy-day bank accounts and no one to ask for money from. I could do freelance jobs online to get the money I need, but the fear of failure and the anxiety are so severe that all I can afford to do is play videogames because at least there I can achieve something. I need professional help pronto but I can't afford it. And out of ten people I've met IRL during the year I've been missing, the only friend I thought I'd made is being pissy with me 'cause I'm "unwelcoming", which doesn't fucking help my mental state one bit. Just yesterday, I was reminded by a good gal how I royally fucked the opportunity to ever be friends with her, in the sweetest way possible... ...and there's not a single person I can talk to. So yeah, I'm a little off right now. This isn't square-one shithead-TFG: I'm off the table, on the floor, and the floor is crumbling. Tell me about the feeling of belonging that I'm missing once again, motherfucker.
Where do you get the gall to come at me for being a dick then call someone a motherfucker for failing to respect your suffering? Life is not a game where the most pain is rewarded. Sorry you're having a bad time but life is not a suffering contest. I'm in bad shape. That's my cross to bear. Everyone has problems and they're important to them because they are their own. Me being homeless for two months is no less important than someone else failing to get a promotion. And I understand that. Because I don't whine about my self importance to seek sympathy Is there a Russian word for laconic BTW? Because I'm tired of your verbose explanations
I rarely know what you're talking about. It gets weird when you think you can school me on usage and grammar. If you understand your problems are your own then deal with them with quiet dignity instead of using them as an excuse to name call and be generally unpleasant
My problem is not with you. My problem is with something you did. Don't make it about your indignation. I offered you my compassion in the best shape it presents itself. You blew it off. There's no dignity in quiet. No bravery in suffering so that no one could see. That way, your burden becomes burden for others. It's how you find yourself talking to an Internet stranger you have no respect for about how they're insufferable and should crawl back into the hole they came from 'cause nothing good ever comes out of their mouth.
What I said was "You're being a dick". I can go into the intricacies of the English grammar and tell you that tense aspects used matter a great deal ("you are X" vs. "you're being X"), but you're not the one for "useless pedantry", are you? I pointed out what I saw as a blatantly disrespectful comment with the most straightforward way I could think of. I could've sassed you. I could've said nothing. Instead, I chose to be honest and compassionate with you. You are a function of the shit you're going through, and I pointed out as much to let you know that I don't think of you as a flawed human being. I think of you as someone who's making a mistake by saying something so properly fucked. I said as much in the most concise way I could think of. You went into defensive because of that. I understand. But I don't like bullshit. I even have a separate rule for not having any in my life. I'm not the guy to follow rules and regulations - and I have a rule for that. I'd rather call you out for acting like a dick to a fellow Hubskier, and I'd rather you do the same if you see me doing it. At least that way, we aren't stuck in the fog.