My mom lost her job as a group home clinician a few weeks ago. She's a psychotherapist, underpaid and overworked for the last 16 years, raising me alone. Finally, on October 7th, she went from roughly 45 clients a week, each with at least 30 minutes' worth of paperwork, to a small handful of private clients she had on the side.
I helped her file for unemployment while her coworkers went on strike for a week, because she was by far the best clinician at the company– the most-respected, most-loved, and most appreciated by every client ever assigned to her, of which there were double what she was told she'd ever have to manage. Look, I'm not poor, I mean I've seen poor. The following story is at Starbucks. But for us, it got rougher than it ever was. I don't really know how to get into that though, so all this is just a preface for this post.
Anyway, as I'm hunkering down for my routine Sunday night of studying at Starbucks, I get in line for my tall mocha– no whip cream– for a little hope and encouragement before my cram session.
I give my order to the unusually beaming barista, and as I take out my $3.25 in cash i look up to see her already standing at the machine, with shit-eating grin incarnate on her face. "It's on me tonight," she says. I flush with teen discomfort as I stammer a "wow, really?! thank you!" and walk up to the bar to pick up a Times on the stand. I didn't get her number out of respect for her having nothing to do with a man who orders mochas. Also, I'm a toddler. But I made sure I expressed my gratitude.
Bout an hour later, I went back for a sandwich and paid for the girl in front of me as she gave her order to that barista. Despite inadvertently encouraging the sale of pumpkin spice lattes, it was otherwise a circle of gratefulness, surprise, and more gratefulness. The barista wouldn't take any gifts, sadly.
So as I sat down with my cup and sammich, opened my laptop, and started thinking about these "small acts of kindness." But wait. I'm not ranting about humanity yet. There is more story.
For context: around me, the whole "small acts of kindness" thing never really happens. Like, ever. I've been robbed in my school's locker rooms a lot more than I've had my coffee paid for. But my jaw dropped when I realized the whole string of events from this morning to right now, and realized just how much kindness had come my way.
Hubski, my morning started off with a rare smile today. I found a notice on my mom's work desk, from an NJ-based organization, letting my mom know that her appeal for energy/heating bill assistance was covered in the form of complete elimination of her debts to PSE&G. It was about three quarters of her monthly pay, and a little more than she was approved for unemployment for the month. I put the letter back on her desk, and wrote an email to the company explaining that I was the kid of a family they assisted, and thanking them for the help. My mom ended up telling me anyway, and it was a really cool moment for us.
Two hours later, I found my way onto this old thread on reddit, and read this amazing story. Just a nice boost of the ol' humanity.
Soon after, my mom got a call that kept her on the phone for two hours. When she hung up, she giddily told me that one of her old colleagues found out she was fired from news about the strike. She hadn't told any of her friends. The guy had just called to offer her a partnership in his private company, promising at least 20 private clients her first week, minus the bullshit paperwork of being a clinician for a non-profit organization. She's starting work again tomorrow.
Well, I hadn't connected all the dots of good-will coming to my mother and I today, until I got that coffee and sat down. Actually, i didn't connect all the dots until I started writing this post, which was supposed to be a brief paragraph talking about how happy I was to have my mocha purchased for me by a cute barista. Now it's a more-than-paragraph, but I kinda feel like I owe it to.. the world..? to say how grateful I am that compassion and the act of giving are present around me, and practiced by so many amazing, beautiful people. I'm lucky, I mean I feel really lucky, and I really hope everyone reading this seizes their next opportunity to do something nice for someone. Something really, really, small and nice for someone. About $3.25 worth, perhaps, might get someone to realize all the awesome in their day and wipe away a month of stress and grief in an instant.
I hope you've managed to wade through my terrible writing and get what I'm trying to say. I should start sleeping. Anyway, I gotta get back to studying. Take care everyone, I hope things get better for all of you, even if they're great now :)
~pabs
Haha you're right, I gotta let myself bask in this for a little bit. Just want to make sure I don't get beaten into cynicism again as I go back to high school tomorrow. <shudder>
Went to go wash my car today at one of those DIY places. They've got a regular robot wash too and this ancient churchlady was struggling with the chargebox. Turns out the whole thing was down so I told her about another washeria across town. After she went on her way I freaked out worrying she'd get lost so I hopped in my car and caught up with her (not easy, she was tearing ass in this big old Caddy) and had her follow me to the next place. This fucking town, that place's robowash was busted too. I gave up and washed her damn Caddy myself. Didn't take her money. I love having adventures with random people. Good on you Pabs. Shine on.
That's awesome man, I love that you helped out real quick, then ended up just going all in. You can bet it'll be front-page of the knitting club newsletter. I hope I'll keep up this feeling and throw myself into some adventures as well. Shine on.. too..!:D
There's something about a totally random paid-for coffee that puts everything in perspective. Up here in the north, it's drive-through coffee everywhere. I was in a drive-thru once, all beat up from life, exhausted, discouraged. I ordered a coffee and continued up to the window. Cashier: It's already paid for. Me: What!!?? Cashier: The man in the car ahead. I watch the car ahead turn into the traffic and race off. Me: Uh, okay. Cool. I had no idea who it was -- but somehow, the weightiness of the day seemed lighter.
First chance I had, I bought one for the car behind me. I hope your mom enjoys her new job and is appreciated by them.
To be fair, she wouldn't stop talking about how glad she was to have left. Stress with the people she was working with aside, the company's bureaucracy was hellish. Things are looking up in the long run now.
Sounds like your mom has made an impression upon people by being passionate about what she does, and good at it too. Best of luck to your mother in her new job. Don't forget to pay your coffee forward one day.
Bout an hour later, I went back for a sandwich and paid for the girl in front of me as she gave her order to that barista.
I think here is where he did that, but I'm not entirely sure. Clarify nowaypablo
Oh yeah, maybe that wasn't clear, but when the girl ordered I paid for her. Hence the latte thing. As far as I'm concerned I've got a lot more than that to pay forward, though!
Probably the nicest thing I've read here. Thanks for sharing it. Hope your mom somehow worked things out since then.
It's a very slow recovery, but it's stable! Thank you!
Pwablo, I read that very same thread a few days ago now, and as I finished it, we rolled up to the Walmart parking lot where a funny looking couple were holding signs, sitting on the hood. The husband looked like he weighed 100 lbs, the wife closer to 250. I squinted and saw a sign that said "PLEASE, NEED HELP. WILL TAKE ANYTHING" I asked the driver to stop and I hopped out while they parked. After chatting for a bit, I find out that the trouble is that they're trying to go back home to Arizona from Nebraska and it was damn near 1000 miles. I gave that man ten dollars, I mean, how do you read that thread, come upon someone needing help, and not help them? So I wonder, how much good juju has that thread kindled? Speaking of good juju, thank you pablo. I am buying someone coffee.
Sounds like some damn good timing for dishing out some major juju. Good to hear you helped them on their trip, for real that 10 bucks could've gotten them a long way, a meal or bus tickets for example. Keep jukin' your juju bro. . . . edit: i hereby love the word juju and will use it ferverously regardless of context.
Great. Just great. We're all lucky man, so damn lucky to be here. I had a fucked up weekend and got some excellent lessons in perspective. Life is short, often sad, always incredible. Glad you guys are through a rough patch. Also, keep going to that coffee shop on Sunday nights. :)
noway, fill me in here. Was this a "pay it forward" deal or did she buy just you a drink?
Because if she is buying you drinks and you're vibing that she might dig you, you need to take her out. You obviously like her.
Eh. Probably matters more in your mind than anywhere else. My wife is 7 years older than me. That perceived problem will solve itself; you aren't getting any younger :)I didn't get her number out of respect for her having nothing to do with a man who orders mochas.
Also, I'm I toddler.
Haha, it wasn't that big of a deal, for whatever reason or motive she just decided to pay for my order. Afterwards, though, I ended up buying someone else's drink, so it was a "pay it forward" deal regardless. I guess I hope it was cause she dug me:D couldnt be more than a two or three years older than me, I'm certainly not complaining. That's pretty awesome, props to you for not factoring that into the equation of something so much more simple as just being attracted to her. I'll be there next Sunday, we'll see if she is! I certainly have a talking point to open on.My wife is 7 years older than me. That perceived problem will solve itself; you aren't getting any younger :)
Do it. I know there is some conventional wisdom out there about not trying to date bartenders/waitresses/servicestaff because they're sick of getting hit on all day and they probably aren't interested anway, etc. But I've dated multiple baristas and bartenders in my day. Sometimes they really do like you and you like them. Don't have to be the guy hitting on the staff, but she did buy you a drink...I don't think you could be faulted for floating the possibility of catching a show or something :P