Hey! Author here. Yeah, i agree the format/layout didn't translate as well into the text post. The line breaks and spacing were all created knowing that it would be a screen print in the end. I didn't really consider what it would look like on the net. Either way, thanks for reading. I've started hammering out another book- we'll see how it goes!
Hello Fishare, welcome. I enjoyed the poem quite a bit. Feel free to share more, I'd definitely enjoy reading it and I'm sure others would too. Also, the #poetry tag has some great content imo. Check it out.
I read this on reddit too. I have to say, I'm really anal about line breaks and I agree with the redditor that made a quip about these particular line breaks being arbitrary. I think in many instances the current breaks weaken the lines. I do find it interesting and it takes me into a strange place, but I wonder what Woodrow Wilson and the thread of homosexuality throughout the poem have to do with anything.
I am not totally sure how I feel about this poem, but for a poem I found on Reddit, not knowing how I feel about it actually means it's doing better than the average. The poem made me think, and I was interested to see how others would take it. I'm glad you commented too. I noticed on Reddit the submitter said they spent a whole lot of time arranging the space/placement of the words on the paper and I agree that as a reader/writer, frankly, I find them distracting. As a visual arts project I find it more successful. I'm really not sure how successful the poem is, just as a poem. I was not really impressed by the text when I read it by itself.
Do you think that's a flaw or a benefit? One could argue either way. As a page poet I am tempted to say it is a bad thing, but if this was, for instance, an art installation, I think it would be acceptable/reasonable that the visual medium is as important as the words.