Two sad detriments to being poor: good food is expensive, time to make good food is expensive. Therefore, most of us tend to default to things like McDonald's which is 4 bucks if you know what to order, and gets out to you in about the time it takes you to fill your ex large cup. Moreover, it doesn't kill you instantly (though there have been times after a Mikey D's meal that I wish it had.... Don't mix Big Mac's with shots of gin. Just... don't.)

I know a lot of you are probably just starting out, whether in college or otherwise, or may be going off on your own real soon. So, here's a few tips I wish I'd known when going off to college, and still get me through the recession today. (Literally, today. I'm nomming on this shit as I write...)

The Rainbow Diet: Doctors, nutritionists, personal trainers will all tell you the best way to get the body you want, whether you're looking to lose, gain, or maintain, is eat right! I know what you're thinking, it can't be that simple, you've heard about all these elaborate diets form Asia or celebrities yadda yadda~ Well the truth is, that shit sells millions of books and tapes and diet foods. The truth sells for cheap. Thank god for that.

The rainbow diet is simple: if you eat a serving of fruit or vegetable of every color (red, orange, yellow, green, blue/violet/blackish-dark-red) every day, you're gonna get all the nutrients you need.

Nice thing is, fruits and veggies are high in dietary fiber which helps you lose weight or simply stay healthy, and if you're going for the apple cuz you need some red (ooor green if you're ante salad~) you're less likely to go for the ginger snaps. At least right away.

The other nice thing is that if you go through with eating this way, a few ginger snaps at the end of the day is fiiiine! Honestly. No really, it's okay I know I said the cookie twice. I give you permission to go eat one.

The thing is, rewiring your thinking about food into colors can be difficult. I swear to you, Dupurz and I were making a grocery list, and going, "We have no yellow. What's yellow? Bananas. You hate bananas too? But...what...else is yellow?" Once we got to the produce section of the store, and saw the variety laid out to us, we went with the fresh pineapple.

This method of browsing for colors has helped the transition, but let me give you some cheap, healthy ideas that are more than just snackable raw things.

Ramen: Japanese for "cheap college student" What the duck? Really? How can this be healthy? Well there's a trick maruchan never told you. Put twice as much water on to boil as you'll need for the broth and put the noodles aside in a big soup (or ramen) bowl. While the water heats, slice yourself a hunk off a cabbage. Now some wafer thin slices of onion (put the rest into the fridge for the next recipe). Now thin slices of carrot. Need some protein too? Try thin slices of beef or a half-boiled egg. Set aside. When the water boils just cover the noodles and let sit for like ten seconds. Flip the noodles and press them down for another ten seconds. They should be soft enough not to snap now, so pour the water off (Pro tip, ramen is easier to work with if you use chop sticks. Weird huh?) Now, toss some garlic powder on them noodles. Some turmeric or curry powder. Cumin works in a pinch. But definitely put some soy sauce, a splash or two of rice vinegar, and oh yeah that bitty spice packet it came with! Now load up the top with your veggies and such and fill to the top with boiled water!

Okay, why the spices is obvious, but why the two-step with the water? because those noodles are greasy! By throwing out the first bit of water, you washed out some of the nasty grease and starchy gunk that makes instant noodles gooey and gross. Now, you have nice--closer to the real thing--noodles to slurp.

So what's our color and cash count on that? slice of cabbage: ($0.10) and green, or if red cabbage: ($0.18) and blue. (Yes red cabbage is purple enough to go on the blue/violet list.) Carrot: ($0.06) and orange Onion: negligible and... well... uh do onions count? They're kinda... white.

Yeah. Onions count. White veggies like onions and cauliflower are still really good for you. I just sort of think, "bleh the skin is yellow, so let's go with that." Seems to work out. So what next?

Bolognese: Italian for "Hiding vegetables" Canned spaghetti sauce is cheap but kinda...meh. Never going to live up to Ma's. But as I don't have the time to be as awesome as Ma, let's compromise. Take the rest of that onion and dice her up. Now squash a clove of garlic--mmmm smelll the Twilight fans' repulsion!--now saute it in a bit of olive oi-oi-oi-hold it! No, no, no, put the extra virgin down! That shit is for salad dressings! Cheesus, that shit's expensive! Use the regular. It's cheap, and it's what the Italians would do. Trust me, it'll be fine. Now throw in some ground chuck (or leave it out if you want to save the three bucks. Okay, now, grate some carrot. Stick it in. Now slice up into coins some yellow squash and zucchini 'n' toss it in. Drain that fat once the meat is browned (Or ignore the draining for the vegetarian way) Now, throw in a can or two of whatever you want. I like canned cheesy spaghetti cheapness, but you do what's tastiness for you. Now spice with salt, pepper, oregano, thyme, rosemary, etc. Pro tip, don't put any olive oil in with the boiling noodles. It'll soak up the sauce better if you don't.

Clove garlic: ($0.05ish) no hue Onion: ($0.25) Yellow? 1 or 2 Carrots: (6 or 12 cents) Orange Yellow squash: ($0.30-$0.50) Yellow Zucchini: ($0.50) Green 1 lbs chuck: ($3 if you get it on sale) Can of sauce: ($1-$2) Red Spaghetti: ($1) Add really good grated parmesan if you can afford it: ($1.50)

Hold da phone that's like nine bucks! I thought we were comparing this to a $4 meal at Crappy-D's? Yeah... did I mention this makes 4 meals?

Lentil Soup: Indian for "I need another bowl of that!" http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/lentil-soup-r...

It's got green orange and red. Not to mention it's awesome served over rice, so it goes farther than Mr. Brown says and gives you all the protein you need that way! Price-wise it's around 6 bucks for the pot of it, according to how you do you stock. I prefer concentrated chicken goo (Just don't forget yourself and lick the measuring spoon clean. You'll regret it.) Also, grains of paradise are expensive and it's just fine without it.

Curry: Japanese for... curry. You can get these cheap-o curry cubes in the Asian section. They're actually pretty good if you: Saute up half your onion and two cloves garlic. Throw in some rough-cut carrots, russet potatoes, maybe some celery, some green or yellow bell pepper is real nice, and oh the rest of your onion (last so it doesn't mush like the first half will)! You can add some cubed beef if you want. I recommend the soup or pot roast quality. Now dump the water and 2 cubes in per the directions. Now, pro tip, add half a pound of lintels! Bring to a boil, cover, reduce to simmer, and walk the duck away! Come back in 25 minutes, take off the lid and stir it to reduce. Serve over rice.

Now, you've got orange, yellow, and green, and tons of tasty! Prices here vary a lot on if you buy in bulk. But I'd guestamate no more than the bolognese.

More pro tips:

-Get your blue by eating blackberry or blueberry yogurt. Yogurt rarely goes bad since it's honestly milk gone bad in the right way anyways. It gets watery on top, but that's just whey. The date on yogurt is more a suggestion than a rule. If it smells good and isn't growing anything, you'll be fine.

-Shop at a farmer's market. They're usually cheaper, have less carbon miles on their food, and almost always taste better. (They usually take food stamps too.)

-Buy coffee and tea. French presses are cheap, water is cheap, tea/coffee is cheap. The health benefits of tea is well documented and it looks like coffee may follow suit. And it has way less calories than soda even if you take it with milk and sugar. Besides, caffeine is boss.

-Eat a fucking chili cheese dog once in a while. Everything in moderation. Or you'll go nuts. If you're maintaining well on the rainbow diet, you can afford something that sticks to your ribs once in a while.

Okay I blathered enough. Now tell me what recipes you have! Any pro tips? =]