I totally get it, dude. The entire design of our little ubiquitous computers is predicated on ego depletion. they exist to give you that little endorphin hit of "somebody likes me." They are mental junk food, a hip flask of attention span there to soothe you when you can't handle the bag of skin you've been saddled with since birth.

But cripplephones are near-beer. "Can you do that one thing you do well really shitty so I have an easier time not bingeing to pink elephants?"

What you're really saying here is that you don't have the discipline to avoid Facebook and that's not like you. Of course you do. It's just more attractive to go "if I buy this innovative glitzy solution being pitched to me by earnest young entrepreneurs that'll be so much more fun than teaching myself that Facebook is pointless!"

Fact of the matter is, your phone was involuntarily stripped from you. You have grokked the extent of your smartphone conditioning.

bfv doesn't have a phone. When I'm at work I'm required to leave it in the hallway. The only reason I have a smartwatch is so that I can get notifications on the damn thing if I need them... and I've discovered that having a smartwatch on my wrist while I drive causes me to drive dangerously. I'm toying with leaving the damn thing in California, except for the fact that I think it might give me an opportunity to try out watch face design before I have to fire up the laser cutter and enameling kiln. I might leave it anyway.

The tech ain't gonna save us. Your dumbphone will not keep up with you; I'm running a 2 1/2-year-old Pixel and it can barely keep up with modern apps and networks and it was built for f'n Google. You've been given a taste; "this is your life without technology." And now it's up to you - not the gadget - to make it stick.

Don't buy something because it does what you don't need badly. Learn to do well with whatever you have.